Patch Adams Page #2

That's not the point.

They're squirrels.

Squirrels, Rudy.

- They're one of the most amiable

creatures on the planet.

- Oh, no, they're not.

On the list of hostile predators,

they're right above the bottom...

just above baby chicks

and slugs.

What could they possibly want ?

Your nuts ?

- Do you think ?

- Oh, Rudy.

- Come on, I'll take you.

- [ Whispers ] Don't move.

- Don't move.

- Another one ?

It's on the end of your bed,

on the rail.

Be careful.

It's gonna jump.

[ Imitates Gunshot ]

[ Blows ]

- There's one, at the end of the bed !

- Bang !

- There's one runnin'

across the sprinkler !

- [ Imitates Shotgun Cocking ]

- Boom !

- In back of the door !

Back of the door !

- [ Imitating Machine Gun Fire ]

- Coming out of the bathroom !

Bathroom ! Bathroom !

Bathroom ! Bathroom !

- [ Gunfire Continues ]

- Yea !

Eat lead, fur bag !

Blam ! Ha-ha !

- You're cured-- Aaah !

- You've got one on your shoulder !

- Get it off me ! Get it off me !

- [ Shouting ]

- [ Shouting Continues ]

- Get it off me ! Aaaah !

We need more cover !

They're comin' in the back door !

- Get under cover, Rudy !

- Build a fort ! Build a fort !

We can build a fort !

- We need a fort !

- Aaah ! Down ! Get down !

They're gone.

I think it's safe to go

to the bathroom, Rudy. Come on.

- No, it's too risky.

- No.

Not when you have...

this.

- A bazooka.

- Yeah.

Load.

[ Imitates Loading Noise ]

[ Imitates Bazooka Blast ]

- Let's do it !

- Aaaah !

[ Shouting Continues ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Urinating ]

Mmm.

Yes.

I'd like to leave.

Hunter, we'll have to discuss this

at your scheduled time.

I'm leaving.

Have you thought

about what you'll do ?

I want to help people.

Last night with Rudy,

I connected to another human being.

I want more of that.

I want to learn about people,

help them with their troubles.

- That's what I do.

- But you suck at it.

You don't even look at people

when they're talking.

I want to listen,

really listen to people.

I can't allow you to leave. I believe

you still have some issues to work out.

Ah. Well, I don't need your permission

because I admitted myself.

- Hunter.

- Mm-hmm ?

I must warn you

my report will read "A.M.A."--

that you were signed out of this

hospital "against medical advice."

And my report will read

"I.D.G.A.R.A."

"I don't give a rat's ass."

And my name is Patch.

One morning

I woke up

I woke up

And I knew

you were really gone

A new day

A new way

And new eyes

would see the dawn

Go your way

I'll go mine

And carry on

Hello.

How you doin' ?

How do you do ?

Hey, this is a nice room.

- May I help you ?

- Yeah, I could really use

a foot massage right now.

Rephrasing:

What are you doing here ?

I'm your new roommate.

I-Im moving in.

I don't mean to be rude,

but aren't you a little old

to be starting medical school ?

You know, Babe Ruth was 39

when he joined the Yankees.

- No, he wasn't.

- You're right.

But I could really use

an example like that, and if

you ever find one, let me know.

Hi. Patch Adams.

Mitch Vroman.

Georgetown University.

I was awarded the William F. Thompson

Scientific Achievement Award.

Mmm. Emerson Elementary.

I once drew a picture of a rabbit

that got me two gold stars.

I'm gonna go

back over there now.

[ Whistling ]

[ Man ]

First do no harm.

What is implicit in this

simple precept of medicine ?

An awesome power.

The power to do harm.

Who gives you this power ?

The patient.

A patient will come to you

at his moment of greatest dread..

hand you a knife and say,

"Doctor, cut me open."

Why ?

Because he trusts you.

He trusts you

the way a child trusts.

He trusts you

to do no harm.

The sad fact is...

human beings

are not worthy of trust.

It is human nature to lie...

take shortcuts,

to lose your nerve, get tired...

make mistakes.

No rational patient would

put his trust in a human being...

and were not gonna let him !

It is our mission here...

to rigorously and ruthlessly

train the humanity out of you...

and make you

into something better.

We're gonna make doctors

out of you.

[ Bell Rings ]

Two years of studying.

I thought we'd have more contact

with patients. Didn't you ?

Hi. I'm Patch.

You've just experienced

a North American greeting...

whereby one person offers

a verbal label to another...

as an expression

of welcome and friendship.

Lesbian. Ball-buster.

Airhead. Leech.

Whichever one of these disgusts

you the most, take your pick.

- Well--

- Please pass the word.

I am not here to date. I am not

here to flirt. I'm here to study.

[ Laughs ]

Thank you.

I thought only I could repel women

with that kind of raw efficiency.

Well, you just met your match.

- Patch Adams.

- Truman Schiff.

Nice to meet you, Truman.

Will you go out with me ?

You should see

- What a lovely, lovely world

it should be

- May I ask you one question ?

- Do you buy everything

the dean was saying today ?

- What do you mean ?

I mean, that whole

drill sergeant thing.

"We're gon' make doctors

out of you medical scum.

- Now drop down and give me 20."

- Mm-hmm.

That whole marine thing.

We're not even gonna see

a patient until the third year.

Up until then,

it's just memorizing facts.

-Why don't they just shove the book up--

-Hamburger ?

Right here on the colon. That's where

it's going anyway. Thanks very much.

- So, why do you wanna be a doctor ?

- I want to help.

I want to connect with people.

A doctor interacts with people

at their most vulnerable.

He offers treatment,

but he also offers counsel and hope.

That's why I love the idea

of being a doctor.

I've always been fascinated by

the development of the human mind.

Ah. Pumping neurons.

We start out so open

and spontaneous.

We're real individuals. Then somewhere

along the way we're drawn to conform.

- It's as if we're conditioned

by programmed responses.

- Well, that's true.

But sometimes you can alter

the programmed response...

just by changing some of the conditions,

altering the parameters.

Let me show you.

We'll call it

the "hello" experiment.

The goal will be to break through

programmed response...

by changing normal parameters...

and getting a new emotional response

from the person.

Ready to enter data.

Hello.

Hi.

Wait.

I don't get it.

"Hi" is a programmed response.

- I reached her.

- You scared her.

No. Wait.

Wait for it.

[ Laughs ]

Oh, you're nuts.

A smile.

Ten seconds.

Victory.

There's more.

Come, my friend.

- Howdy !

- Hi.

See ?

Response time is diminishing.

Yesterday I made

I talked to one man named Dale for

three hours. He told me amazing things.

But what does this all prove,

other than you're out of your mind ?

What's the difference between

a doctor and a scientist ?

And don't say salary.

People. Hmm ? We want to become doctors

because we want to help people.

I want to be

a pediatrician.

Okay, little people.

The point is, we have to treat

the patient as well as the disease.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes