Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 Page #7

BLARTWhat has gotten into you?

MAYADad--

Cherry (05/13/2014)39A.

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BLARTYou lied to me! You said you were

taking a nap.

MAYAI was going to but--

BLARTYou didn’t call me once!

Blart takes out his mechanical fork at jabs at the food.

BLART (CONT’D)

You left the bath filled, which

could’ve caused water damage, and

candles lit... which could’ve burnt

down Las Vegas.

The fork LIGHTS UP and VIBRATES, making a terrible sound

against his teeth. He shows the fork to Maya.

BLART (CONT’D)

Great! You happy?!

MAYADad. I’m sorry, it’s just that

Lane invited--

BLARTLane? Lane?! That’s what this

betrayal is about? Chicken Chow

Lane!

(over-the-top)

Have I lost you completely?!?

MAYADad, people are looking.

BLART(on a roll)

What happened to her, Maya? What

happened to that pristine girl who

could never tell a lie? What

happened to my little George

Washington?

MAYAGeorge Wash--?

BLARTHe couldn’t tell a lie! He was

full truth, in a powdered wig!

MAYADad, you’re overreacting.

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BLARTOh yeah? When were you going to

show me this?!

Blart produces the UCLAacceptance LETTER from his pocket.

MAYAWhere’dyou find that?

BLARTI’m a highly trained security

specialist! You can’t expect to

keep secrets from me.

MAYAI never thought I’d get in.

BLARTI didn’t even know you applied

there. And what about Central

Jersey Applied Technical Junior

College?

MAYAWe’re talking UCLAhere!

BLARTYeah, I thought we were talking

CJATJC?!

MAYAYou don’t understand, Dad... I have

a chance to go to California.

BLARTCalifornia’s too far away!

MAYAJust think about it this way. You

could come visit me in the winter

when it’s really cold in Jersey.

BLARTSure -- if I want some smog on my

Earthquake flakes.

This stops her. She looks at him confused, then steels

herself.

MAYAYou know, some parents would be

proud. I know someone who’s

parents were excited when they got

a GEDafter three tries!

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BLARTReally? ‘Cuzthat’s not exactly

snatching the golden ring.

MAYAI think it’s shows perseverance.

(then)

You know what? I’ve decided, I’m

going.

BLARTYou decided? How ‘bout this?

Decision overruled. Judge Blart

now in session!

He POUNDS his fist like a gavel, sending the ROLLS flying.

Maya stands in defiance. TEARS FLOODING HER EYES...

MAYAI know you’ve lost a lot lately and

you’re scared, but... what you’re

doing right now is so wrong! I’m

going to UCLA.

With that, she GRABS the acceptance letter and storms off.

Blart then turns to the other DINERS who are now staring at

him.

BLARTI’ve heard nothing but incredible

things about this restaurant... the

Chef won the James Beard Award

TWICE. I mean to snag a beard once

is ridiculous... but twice?

Blart awkwardly GETS UP and goes after Maya.

INT. WYNN ESPLANADE - MOMENTS LATER3737Blart exits the restaurant, but Maya is long gone. He runs

into Saul Gundermutt and his WIFE.

SAUL GUNDERMUTTHey Paul. I want you to meet the

wife.

Blart SHAKES her hand.

BLARTNice to meet you.

GUNDERMUTT’S WIFEPleasure’s mine. Are you here with

your wife?

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BLARTDaughter. Last trip...

(realizing)

... beforeshe goes off to college.

SAUL GUNDERMUTTOuch! Crusher!

GUNDERMUTT’S WIFEOurs just went last year.

SAUL GUNDERMUTTWe were so excited to embrace the

empty nest we turned her room into

a shootin’range.

GUNDERMUTT’S WIFE

But once she left... it wasn’t how

we thought it would be, it was

depressing as Idaho.

BLARTOkay...

SAUL GUNDERMUTTThe silence was unbearable. The

house was like this cold tomb of

loneliness.

GUNDERMUTT’S WIFEI would get so sad...

(to Saul)

When you would leave for work, I

would put on Sarah McLachlan, walk

in her closet and just smell the

sweaters she left behind.

BLARTMmmhmm, I get it.

As Saul grabs his wife’s hand...

SAUL GUNDERMUTTWell, at least I had this little

angel to get me through. Can you

imagine trying to get through it

alone?

GUNDERMUTT’S WIFECouldn’t.

SAUL GUNDERMUTTCouldnotdoit.

(with a shudder)

I don’t even like to go there,

mentally.

Goldenrod (04/25/2014)43.

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Gundermutt and his wife share a look of mutual appreciation,

then she hits Blart with...

GUNDERMUTT’S WIFELook forward to meeting your wife.

BLART(forced smile)

Yeah. She’s... terrific.

EXT. LAS VEGAS STRIP NEAR CAESAR’S PALACE - NIGHT3838Blart walks alone down the strip, trying not to CRY.

We pull back to see the HAPPY TOURISTS that surround Blart

begin to move in HYPER-SPEED, as Blart continues to move in

real time, leaving him looking like an island of despair.

INT. VDKABAR - LATER3939As Blart walks by, he notices NickPaneroin UNIFORM talking

to an ATTRACTIVE LADY at the bar, but she just looks ANNOYED.

Nick looks a little WOBBLY and his speech is SLURRED.

NICKPANEROOh yeah? Well, I don’t think yousmell that great!

ATTRACTIVE LADYLast time I’m gonnasay it... Get

outtamy face.

Blart intervenes.

BLARTWhoa. Looks to me like two nice

people are trying to board the

peace train, but she seems to have

derailed.

ATTRACTIVE LADYWhat?

BLARTMan... woman. Such a simple

equation, and yet every Telenovela

reminds us that people are kindabad at it. // andyet, like math...

so many different answers.

Yellow (04/22/2014)44.

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ATTRACTIVE LADYI just want to sit here by myself

and this hairy, drunk, rent-a-cop

confused “go away” for “have a

seat.”

This is Blart’s chance to crush Nick, but instead...

BLARTThere’s really no need to attack

his person, ma’am.

Nick looks at Blart, SURPRISED. Blart smiles at Nick, who is

starting to WOBBLE. Then back to the lady.

BLART (CONT’D)

Officer Manerohere, who, in my

professional opinion, does not seem

drunk, has at least three years

training in body aura and distress

recognition. I’m sure he sensed

that an attractive lady, sitting by

herself, is most likely feeling a

little lonely.

The attractive lady softens a bit. Nick notices.

NICKPANEROYeah...

BLARTSo before you retreat behind that

wall we all put up, know that

Officer NickPanero... was here for

you.

The attractive lady is genuinely touched.

ATTRACTIVE LADYWell, maybe I over-reacted.

BLARTAnd P.S. He’s giving the keynote

tonight.

Blart SMILES and they both look at NickPanero, who...

PASSES OUT, STRAIGHT BACKWARDS, dropping out of frame.

INT. WYNN PRESIDENTIAL SUITE - NIGHT4040Robinson enters. Vincent can see that something is wrong.

Scott keeps watch.

VINCENTProblem?

Pink (04/21/2014)45.

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