Peaches

STEPH:
Every birth is traumatic,

but mine went off the Richter scale.

My dad died neatly, but they reckon

Mom's head got severed clean off.

So you might say

she didn't really have her mind on the job.

[Speaking foreign language]

Jass? Where is she?

[Baby crying]

Miracle! Miracle baby.

Miracle baby.

STEPH:
Where my dad came from,

they have shrines to their ancestors.

Here in Swan Reach,

this sign is the best we could do.

Miracle baby. That's me.

Living proof that miracles

aren't all they're cracked up to be.

- Hi.

- Good day.

Where do I sign?

STEPH:
This is where my mother

met my father and they fell in love.

And on the day she left, so the story goes...

There you go.

... my mother stood on the peach line

with me half bursting out of her belly...

and told them all to go f*** their jobs.

Of course, you could do that back then.

- Hey.

- Brian.

- How you been?

- I'm... I'm good.

WOMAN:
[Over P.A. System] Forklift drivers

to report to dispatch immediately.

Do not complete your current jobs.

Report immediately to dispatch.

Repeat.

Forklift drivers to dispatch immediately.

[Whistle blowing]

WOMAN:
Peaches!

[Gasping]

[Breathing heavily]

Hold on a minute.

Can I go to the toilet, please?

Too slow. Off the line. Down on the cookers.

- Hey, bub, are you all right?

- Too slow!

Take her off the line. Down to the cookers.

To the cookers.

Come on.

Hey, Alan Taylor can't sack me

on my first day, can he?

How would I know?

- Well, you reckon he's your brother.

- Half brother.

They say he's a real prick.

If you really grew up around here,

how come I've never seen you before?

I took off to see the world, didn't I?

What the bloody hell

do you think you're doing?

Actually, you know what, taking a kid

off the line on her first day and all...

it must be karma.

[All laughing]

- I can't believe you did that.

- Darling, it was a little tap.

- So now he sacks me. Wicked.

- He wouldn't dare.

- Where am I gonna get another job?

- You just have to do better.

Hey.

You know, you can look in my bag

if you like.

Happy birthday, bub.

- Sh*t, Jude. Thanks.

- Don't swear, darling.

- Who will I ring?

- Well, you ring me.

But you have to use that earphone thing

or you'll get a brain tumor if you don't.

Oh, right.

[Dance music playing]

JUDE:
He's actually taking it out on Steph.

I want her to do the trainee shift.

This bloody dyslexia doesn't go away,

you know.

KATH:
Hello, gorgeous.

JUDE:
Hey, what are you doing here?

I was just gonna ask you guys what

you think about at work so you go really fast.

What we think about?

We think about sex, baby!

They don't. We don't.

They might, but we don't, darling.

KATH:
I do.

JUDE:
Stop it!

- Come on.

- Settle down.

Oh, come on. She's...

[Kath cackling]

GRANDPA:
That's a girl.

- Bit slow for you, Grandpa?

- Fine.

Thank you. That feels... That's good.

This is for you.

It was your mother's.

They gave it to me along with

all the other things from the accident.

Next of kin.

I thought, now that you're all grown up...

- Read it to me?

- Now, that'd be cheating.

- It's my job, isn't it?

- That's right.

The dollar rose. The goal post moved.

We've got to export more.

It's as simple as that.

So we've got to increase productivity

by another 2%.

WORKER 1:
Oh, what?

WORKER 2:
There's no way.

- And we've got to lose a few.

- Oh, great.

JUDE:
Lose a few what? Kilos? Brain cells?

Now, anyone interested

in discussing redundancy...

Oh, people?

So this is just an excuse

to get rid of permanents...

- and replace them with casuals?

- Discussing redundancy...

drop in to personnel.

All right?

WORKER:
It's not right.

ALAN:
Any questions?

Yeah, bro.

Do we still get a Christmas hamper?

[Workers laughing]

The brutal truth, mate.

Permanents get a hamper, and casuals don't.

And I'll tell you something else for free.

The unions, they're finished.

Without their closed shop, they're history.

So why aren't you inside with the girls?

'Cause they're reading Cosmos

and comparing orgasms.

So? What, you can't read

or you've never had an orgasm?

Yeah.

[Chattering]

Bunyip. Bunyip.

Her best friend was a bunyip.

This bunyip lived in the...

Mosquito-infested waters

at the bottom of the quarry.

You've got to sound it out.

Why do you hate the Taylors?

How do we get permanent, Steph?

We've got to make ourselves

absolutely indispensable.

And how do we do that?

We've got to learn to read properly.

- And now, come on.

- You should wear blue more often.

All right. Alan Taylor...

he just crawled out

from under a rather large rock.

- Cute, but. They both are.

- Jesus, don't go getting adolescent on me.

These don't work, Jude.

They've never worked.

Listen. Do you know,

it's actually quite tough out there, darling?

This is the only job going in this town...

and it's probably the only job going

for someone who didn't finish school.

Now, you are going to make it

through that season...

and they're going to send you to Tech.

But if you can't read fluently by then,

my God!

I know! I know. I know.

Well, all right, we'll try the coaching again,

but you have to show up.

Jude...

I can't do it any better than I f***ing do.

Don't swear, darling.

- Sh*t! Oh, sh*t.

- Gregory.

Oh, sh*t!

I swear to God, if that thing bites me again,

I mean, I'm really serious, I'm going to fry it.

You didn't answer me

about whether you think Alan Taylor's cute.

Alan Taylor is a ruthless, two-faced,

utterly toxic turd.

And those are his good qualities.

Gregory thinks he's cute.

[Moaning]

Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

[Screaming]

[Peaches by The Stranglers]

[Horn blaring]

[Cell phone ringing]

Good day, Jude.

Okay, I'll be home in half an hour.

I got a flat. Bye.

I think you should know there's a woman

having a wank in the back of your van.

I was present at the ceremony.

Do you always stick your nose

into other people's bedrooms?

Other people should close their curtains.

- She wants me to make sure you won't tell.

- Who am I gonna tell?

She's my parole officer.

It kind of pays me to stay on her good side.

An idea you've comprehensively rooted.

Sorry.

I just wanted to...

Here.

You can read.

What?

Read this to me?

I don't think so.

What did you say her name was again?

Your parole officer?

Cherie.

Her name's Cherie.

BRIAN:
"November 19.

"Maybe I'm going to go somewhere exotic

with jungles and beaches.

"Somewhere like

where Li Jun or Hoa comes from.

"Or Johnny.

"November 21.

"The seasonals have started arriving."

Why me?

Huh?

What makes you think you can trust me?

I don't, but I don't trust anyone else.

"I can't seem to get Jude as excited

about the new chums this year.

"There's not as many as there used to be...

"and they don't come in from Queensland

like they used to...

"but there's enough to liven things up.

"She's Ajaxed her hair, so she's got her eye

on someone, but she won't say who.

"And I sure as hell

haven't mentioned the Big J.

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