Peaches Page #2

"I'm not sure how she'll take it.

BRIAN:
"We made a pact, though.

JASS:
We made the pact, though.

- "After it was over...

- After it was over...

- "...she claimed it was my idea.

...she claimed it was my idea.

- "But it wasn't, Your Honor.

- But it wasn't, Your Honor.

- "She made me do it."

- She made me do it.

[Whistling]

[Lady Bump by Penny McLean playing]

JASS:
Cover my bottom!

Good day, Al. Did you notice

anything unusual this morning?

[Stammering] Well, the bloody forklift

broke down again, yeah.

Oh.

You're not serious?

- You are serious.

- Shut up.

WOMAN:
There she is!

[All whistling and hooting]

JASS:
It occurs to me that

Johnny's mob might think...

a chick who flashes her backside

a bit, well, loose.

But I'm sure Johnny would agree...

when in Rome or Saigon...

or Swan Reach...

Hey! Margo's kid's got gastro.

Does anyone want a double shift?

Let me.

Alan...

Alan Taylor...

is...

ALAN:
Shirt lifter.

Well, technically, Alan Taylor is a sh*t lifter,

but you get the idea.

Here. Hop in. I'll drop you home.

- I've got my bike.

- Well, now, it's midnight.

The bike will still be here in the morning.

Hop in.

You and Jude still swim in the river?

Not anymore. We used to.

She says it's polluted now.

Years ago we used to have something called

the Cannery Cavalcade at the end of shift.

It was a mass exodus to Fisher's Bend.

There was skinny-dipping, dive-bombing.

All sorts.

- Don't they do it anymore?

- No.

Safety regulations. You're covered

by workers comp to and from the job...

so it's a public lynching if you're caught.

[Door shutting]

Hi.

- Who dropped you home?

- No one.

One of the nightshift girls.

- Oh, who?

- Julie Morrissey.

Ah.

Why don't you have your hair long anymore?

You used to when I was little.

- I don't know. I'm just too old for it, I think.

- You might get a root if it was long.

WOMAN:
[Over P.A. System] Forklift drivers

to report to dispatch immediately.

Do not continue existing jobs.

Report immediately to dispatch.

WORKER:
This is crazy.

They let eight go today.

What's the CEO's bonus this quarter?

I hope he's invested it wisely.

WORKER:
Here he comes.

How can you do this? I'll get you, Taylor.

You got to step off the curb sometime.

JUDE:
Oh, it's an absolute sh*t, Kenny.

Well, I guess my fingers just aren't as nimble

as they used to be.

Well, that's not what Kath says.

Oh, since we got him on the Viagra,

his fingers have never felt better.

KATH:
Sorry, honey.

ALAN:
How's that old van of mine going?

BRIAN:
Oh, it's okay.

- I ought to have your balls for this.

- Mate, you couldn't lift them.

You reckon?

Go on. Inhale, for Christ's sake.

Sue says,

why don't you come and stay at the house?

No. It's too crowded for me, bro.

You know, it'd give me a break.

[Brian exclaims]

A witness. Now you're stuffed.

The foreman ripped on company time.

[Coughing]

[Clarinet playing]

I can hear music.

Of course you can. This stuff's all heads.

It's Kenny.

He wanted to practice in the cold store

for old times' sake.

[Playing melancholy tune]

You know what we ought to do?

Cannery Cavalcade.

[Whooping]

You waiting for a wetsuit or what?

Don't forget your floaties, mate.

[Whooping]

It's the best. It's the best show.

Here they come.

[Screaming hysterically]

I love you guys!

CROWD:
Countdown!

JASS:
I don't know who they are.

[Live It Up by Mental As Anything

playing on TV]

JASS:
What Johnny needs

is a crash course in having fun.

I keep telling him,

if it's got a beat, you dance to it.

[Jass and Jude singing The Carnival Is Over]

JASS:
That night,

Jude got another one of her ideas.

The biggest surprise was Al.

For a nerd with specs and a stammer,

who would have thought?

He and Jude might just go the distance.

Hey, mate!

Come around.

- AI. Late night, mate?

- Yeah.

Bit of extracurricular studying.

This? You want to take this?

I'm conducting a survey

on behalf of the union, you know.

Late shift arrivals and departures,

that sort of thing.

- Oh, right. You want a beer?

- Yeah, why not?

Help yourself, mate.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

[Jass and Jude singing The Carnival Is Over]

JASS:
I told the Harper Valley PTA at work...

that Johnny's descended from some prince

or sultan or something.

[Screaming excitedly]

But it's not true.

His father traveled...

fell in love in Indonesia,

and took her home to Vietnam.

JOHNNY:
It's from my uncle.

He write that my father's sick

in a re-education camp.

He hope that they will release him,

but he's not sure.

JASS:
When his dad was taken...

they smuggled Johnny out on a boat

to the Philippines.

He had some US dollars and no one.

JOHNNY:
Ten year.

ALAN:
Jesus.

JUDE:
Where are your brothers and sisters?

JOHNNY:
I don't know.

JASS:
It occurred to me, and to Jude

and Alan, as it later turned out...

that we could make him a new family.

I reckon we should get out of here.

Take this thing and head out north.

- How far north?

- Not that far north, Johnny.

Queensland.

We could deck it out like a caravan,

and we could put a fridge in it, an oven...

run a chimney up through the top.

There was an old woman

that lived in a peach.

Who lost both her tits

on the way to Swan Reach.

- Well, it's not all that funny.

- It'd be fun.

I mean,

do you really want to hang around here...

stinking of peach juice your whole life

because your old man did?

Or 'cause some knob in a suit

was big enough to class you as a reffo?

Up there, they've got nude beaches.

JUDE:
I don't know.

I don't know where you'd be without me,

all of you.

Clueless, the lot of you.

You got no bloody drive.

What sort of drive have you got in mind?

- We can get it out.

- You're a weird kid.

Shouldn't you be out taking drugs

or having sex or something?

JASS:
Johnny's not like us at all.

He wasn't raised to be a sh*t kicker

in a cannery.

He wanted to be a professor of literature.

[Both chanting]

He was falling for a girl who can't spell "cat."

In any language.

Mo.

- "Miaow"?

- Yeah, mo.

It mean, cat.

"Jude beat me, the b*tch. It took her a while.

"Why are men such slow starters?"

She said the most he'd do

was stick his hand down her bra.

And it happened

in the peach store, apparently.

She reckoned Kenny was serenading

on his clarinet from the store next door.

So she found him in there on his own...

and she just stripped right off.

And he said...

I can hear this.

[Stammering] "You seem to be making

a habit of this."

But he rose to the occasion...

and she got that warm, strong,

tugging feeling between her legs.

Like a hunger pang.

And he ran peach juice over her body.

He even licked it from between her toes...

and the back of her knees.

She said she'd forgotten to shave her legs...

and she was embarrassed,

and he just laughed.

And they even hung a peach half

on his dick.

And all the time,

Kenny's tootling Summer of '42 next door.

And Al's so into it,

he's forgetting to stammer.

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