Peaches Page #3

She lost her favorite hairclip in the frenzy.

And then they did it.

She said next time,

she'll warm the peaches first.

And I thought Big Al only got a boner

from an enterprise bargain.

[Brian sighs]

I better get on, mate.

I've got to meet someone.

Off to visit Cherie?

I suppose you're in love now?

Her husband's a lawyer. And the van,

it turns her on 'cause it's putrid.

Cherie's slumming it big time.

But when no one's touched you

for the best part of two years...

you kind of take what you can get,

you know?

Hey.

You're in the doghouse.

- See you.

- See you.

JUDE:
Steph, where are you?

I thought we were going to ring

the reading coaches today.

Maybe that's why you've vanished.

JASS:
It was different for me and Johnny.

Had to be, I suppose.

The first time we made love was the day

he found out his father was dead.

He said he felt them near us,

his mom and dad...

watching over us somehow.

I've never thought like that.

Johnny swears his ancestors

are back in the world.

Not as people. Maybe dogs or beetles...

or water buffalo.

Isn't that wild?

Coming back in disguise

to keep an eye on the things you loved.

I like that.

I haven't got the stomach for it

anymore, Jude.

Somebody's got to take on Taylor before

he pushes too hard and people get hurt.

He's the worst kind.

He used to be ours, and now he's theirs.

Like an ex-smoker.

Yeah, or an ex-wife.

He's also favoring casuals

who are not union members.

I mean, I'm a casual, Jude. And how long

is a casual union rep gonna last?

So we thought...

who's the one person we know

who detests Taylor enough to break him?

Where the hell have you been?

I've been calling you all night.

- I had my phone switched off.

- Oh.

Is there any tea?

Yeah, it's in the microwave.

Along with your bloody rodent.

THOMMO:
I guarantee you'll be unopposed.

JUDE:
See you later.

Hey, you're looking pretty good

these days, Jude.

JUDE:
[Laughing] Give it a rest. Night-night.

Steph?

Steph?

Just in case you're not asleep...

I fed Gregory.

He bit me.

Well, you'll be sorry when I die of tetanus.

Why did you split up with Alan Taylor?

- Who told you that?

- Everyone knows.

Isn't that why they want you for the union?

'Cause you're not scared of him?

Well, he... He pissed off after I adopted you.

- Because of me?

- No. No.

- Because he's a weak prick.

- Why didn't you ever tell me?

- Well, I...

- Kath and all of them know. Grandpa.

What do they know, Steph?

I mean, what do they know?

I mean,

I told you how Jass and Johnny died...

and then that Nerida, bloody four-eyes...

and those freakish little friends

started telling you all these details...

that God knows where they got them from.

And then they start calling you dyslexic.

I mean, you had nightmares for months.

What do they know?

What do they know? You are such a grub.

Are you going to tell me where you've been

half the night?

- Are you going to tell me about Alan Taylor?

- No.

Only place you can get cool, eh?

- Except down the river.

- I wouldn't make a habit of that.

The union are out to get you, you know.

Yeah, they're siccing Jude on to me.

You know her old man

used to call her a pit bull?

Well, he'd be pissing himself laughing

up in Surfers or wherever he is.

How many more will be going?

I don't know.

Will I?

Guess what I found in the shed

on top of Mahlberg Hill?

A trailer with a giant peach on it.

They never did find out who took it,

did they?

All those years sitting there

and all that time no one ever found it.

It looks like a real wreck now.

I could take you there if you like.

Why would you want to do that?

This is where you and Jude first did it,

isn't it?

With Kenny Carter playing the clarinet

next door.

She lost her hairclip.

You've made my day, Steph.

Jude's tried to turn you into her little puppet

and look at you, eh?

What do you want, Steph?

I don't know.

Go on. Piss off.

JASS:
They didn't find out about qua do.

That's Vietnamese for peach.

They haven't even questioned us.

I think they're too scared.

No one believes about Johnny

and the sultan stuff.

They reckon he's just another refugee here

to steal their jobs and rape their women.

ALAN:
These are the best of times.

These are the worst of times.

Now we've had our door open

for a decade now.

We've invited the world in,

but ask yourselves this.

How do we treat our guests?

Now I guarantee if you elect me

to the union committee...

I'll pledge myself to union protection for all.

No favoritism, no individual contracts,

no inequality.

- Equal pay for women.

- Yeah!

Free spaying for family pets.

Subsidised mercy killing for nuisance rellies.

[Stammering] And Christmas hampers for all.

ALAN:
F*** off!

JASS:
It was Jude's idea. The four of us.

We were going to have our very own,

very grown-up little party.

JASS:
Saturday night.

BRIAN:
"Saturday night.

- Four sleeps to go.

- "Four sleeps to go."

BRIAN:
The end.

- Look.

- Yeah, someone's ripped them out.

You know the rest.

She and Johnny got minced.

Al and Jude messed up their lives.

- No, they didn't.

- Okay.

Have it your own way. They didn't.

- You off to visit Cherie?

- No, they changed parole officers on me.

- Doesn't she like doing it in here?

- No, the new one's a bloke.

And I tell you, he fell out of the ugly tree

and hit every branch on the way down.

No, I'm going bush. I need to commune.

Don't you ever get lonely?

What do you think?

You never told me why they put you in jail.

You know all about me.

[Sighs]

I got too attached to something.

Someone. And she wanted out.

And I couldn't let go.

But I worked one thing out in the care

of our fine correctional services department.

You gotta learn to travel light.

Hey, you see this place?

When I clear parole

and get some money together...

I'm gonna find this place.

It's in Queensland.

They reckon dinosaurs walked there

millions of years ago.

Now, just imagine what your foot

would look like inside that.

I imagine how that would feel.

Are you going or what?

Yeah, can you dump me at the Black Spot?

The clutch is gone.

Hitchhikers get murdered, you know.

Yeah, I'll risk it.

BRIAN:
Mate, how are you?

Help! Help, I'm being murdered!

Don't know, love. Never read it.

Wanted to read it. Damn right I did.

Maybe there are some things

a father shouldn't know?

Why didn't you take me to live with you

when she died?

Because Jude wanted you. Begged for you.

So I bundled you up in Jassy's bunny rug

and handed you over.

You were bright yellow.

Jaundiced, not genes.

Did I do wrong?

[Marching band instrumental music

playing on TV]

And here at the Peach Baby Contest...

we've just seen miracle baby

Stephanie Callaghan crowned Peach Baby.

Well, Jude,

what's the miracle baby's favorite food?

Swan Reach Preserved Peaches

because they're love in a can.

REPORTER:
What's your dream

for the miracle baby?

Yes, can you connect me

to an Alan Taylor please?

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