Penelope Page #4

Never, Penelope!

And I knew with all my heart

she meant it.

We have both always

known there was no guarantee.

We have not both always known

that there was no guarantee.

We have spent

so much time preparing her

for the day things

would be different,

we've never prepared her

for the day that they're not.

Maybe we should stop all

this match making and...

give her a puppy. Hmm?

Sweetheart?

Penelope is that you?

Yes, mother. I'm just going

to make some cocoa.

A puppy.

- Okay.

- What can I say?

I'm sorry you got stuck with me.

I'm sorry I dragged you down with me.

I know I'm the bad blood.

I am the Wilhern. I know that.

The curse is on me.

I am the curse.

Me,. It's me, it's me I, me, me, me.

Honey. Honey! I think your father

could use some cocoa too.

Okay mother.

Actually I might have

a cup too.

Penelope?

She's escaped.

- Let's go.

- God, she's going to be coming after me.

- Edward, you've got to control yourself.

- Quick!

- What are you doing?

- We need help.

Yes, I'd like to report

my daughter missing.

Are you out of your mind?

What if they find her?

For crying out loud Jessica!

Okay, you know what? I can't hold it

any longer. Come with me.

I have to pee and I can't leave

you alone with the phones.

You know dear,

there was a time...

when I might have jumped at such

an invitation, but right now I can't.

- Hello

- Mum?

Hold the line, please.

- Mum?

Collect call from Penelope...

- Yes, we'll accept

- Mum?

Go ahead with your call, please.

Hello...

Penelope, what the hell

were you thinking?

- Did anyone see you yet?

No... Mum, no

Good, good. Where are you?

We'll come and get you.

I'm just calling to say that

I love you, and... goodbye.

Penelope don't...

At least we know

she's alright.

- Don't you have to pee or something?

- No, dear, that was you.

I can check you in over here.

Hi...

can I have a room, please?

Shouldn't be a problem.

Room 8 is available.

- Thank you.

- You don't want the room?

No, I, I want the room.

Then would you mind coming

back here so I can check you in?

Thank you.

And how will you be paying for your room?

Thank you, Jessica

Okay, that's it for me, folks.

New dealer coming in.

Erm, nostrils are bigger.

More... more piggy.

Hey, hey. Guys, guys, come on.

We've got to wrap this up.

I've got a deadline here.

We've got to go to print.

- Crosser, crosser...

- Freakir Mona Lisa come on...

- Your morning paper, madam.

- Oh, thanks, Jake.

Holy magda! Aaaah!

- Damn it, Edward!

- Dad, they all think I'm crazy.

And this helps you?

How?

You told me...

I thought this would prove...

Try to remember I'm your son.

That's exactly what

I'm trying to forget.

Thank you, ma'am.

Gentlemen.

So, how's everybody doing this fine day?

I thought you

went home.

I did. Slept for eight blissful hours,

fixed the kids breakfast,

kissed the wife goodbye, and, according

to the button, it's your blind.

You want to take your blind?

Are you in or out?

Hey, he's still

got chips. He's in.

Just give him some time.

He's in. He'll come around.

Yeah, I'll take another.

Make it a large one.

Hey, he's still got chips.

He's in

For starters, I'm going to need

a recent photograph.

- No photographs.

- None whatsoever?

No. The er... fire got them.

OK,

a detailed description.

Brown hair.

Brown eyes.

A unique... ly pleasant

personality.

Think pig.

- So she's a fat girl?

- Not exactly.

Jessica!

Not in front of company.

Don't be silly.

He knows I didn't mean it.

That's not true, madam.

I may not have said anything,

but I was filing it away.

So she's not exactly fat?

Does any of this really matter?

Just go find her!

Our daughter's out there somewhere,

lost and afraid

You haven't given me anything to go on.

No photographs, no friends,

no job, no hangouts...

It's something like this,

but minus the fangs.

- Franklin!

- Do you want to find her or not?

Minus the fangs.

They're certainly eye-grabbing.

Jake, purse.

OK, you know what? Never mind.

How much do we owe you?

Where's my...?

Who took my wallet?!

It's our daughter. Please help us.

Please, I'm begging you.

What he's trying to say is,

give us the key now!

I'm sorry, but...

The room is registered

in my name with my...

Who's the guest? Me.

That makes me the guest.

You two go on ahead.

Not real big on the fang thing.

Well, at least we know

she's not starving.

No, not... not just... not just any pig.

You need to stop talking now.

Hello?

Yeah, that's right...

- Penelope?

- Who is this?

That was Penelope on the...

Sell her own picture?

Er... then why did you hang up?

Edward, what's... what's wrong with you?

Did you ever...?

How did you know it was me?

Just a lucky guess. You have

something you want to sell us?

That's right.

May I ask

why you are doing this?

What do you care?

You're getting a freak.

Hey, nobody said anything

about a freak.

- Listen, do you want it or not?

- Sure. Yes.

Yes. Yes, I do. Thank you.

- Look, Grandma, a pig!

- How nice.

Fangs?

There are no fangs.

Well, she must just suck them back

Edward, you know, I've been thinking.

I know and you know.

Maybe that's enough.

Lemon, half the people in this

city think I'm crazy.

I've got to prove to them

that I'm not.

I'm sorry.

I've got to do it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you

the pig-faced girl.

You see? I'm not crazy.

Am I crazy? You, am I crazy?

I'm not crazy.

You weren't kidding!

Can I get you something?

Can I have a beer on tap,

please?

Sure. You can have this one.

Coming right up.

- You're supposed to catch it.

- Oh, sorry.

Are you ready now?

- There you go.

- Thank you.

Is there a problem?

- Do you have any straws?

- Sure.

There you go.

That's half of what you gave me.

You'll get the rest back

when I'm ready.

- Let's just call it even.

- No, let's not.

She's not some

freaking pay day.

She sold me the photo herself.

Yeah. Apparently, she's...

out there on her own,

declaring her independence.

- Hey there, Jack.

- Annie!

Lucky you, last

delivery of the day.

How are you doing?

Are you sure you really want to know,

or are you just asking?

- I'm just asking.

- So I'm driving my Vespa,

and this guy comes out of nowhere

and hits me. I go flying.

I'm in the street and he's stands over

me and he's, like,

'I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't see.

How can he not see me, you know?

I'm on a Vespa with wings.

I mean, right, you can see me.

You can see me, right?

What?

See? She can see me.

You ought to sic Billy on him.

Yeah, it's a little too late.

You've got to sign here.

- Billy moved back to the burbs.

- Yeah? Sorry to hear it.

Yeah. We had no business being together.

He was a picket fence kind of guy.

And, like, what guy looks at me

and thinks picket fence.

Unless he's crazy, and I'm done

dating crazy, you know? Done.

Unless it's meant to be.

Right?

Yeah. Right.

- Right?

- Right.

I can't hear you with that

thing on your face.

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