People You May Know Page #4

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at all.

Thank God. I felt horrible

about that for a solid decade.

You're off the hook.

So how do you two

know each other?

We were college roommates.

He walked in

freshman year,

had the entire DVD box set

to Friday the 13th.

We've been best friends

ever since.

He's a great guy.

Like, genuine.

I mean, look at him talking

to this woman, right?

He doesn't have a chance

in hell, He's gonna strike out.

But yet there he is,

at that.

He's got a lot of heart.

And dick.

He's got a big ass dick.

Like radius wise.

You know, it's perfectly

shaped for anyone.

It morphs to shape

your body.

Whoever, uh...

I'm his wingman.

- How am I doing?

- Subtle.

Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

- Got my...

- Oh, no. I'm good actually.

These are for me.

Oh.

Uh, international finance.

That sounds interesting.

Oh... [scoffs]

Yeah. It's...

It's boring.

Super normal.

Um, don't even talk about it.

Okay.

I'm actually here

with a few friends.

Do you wanna...

Uh...

Sure.

Hi. I found these like that.

Thank you.

Franky, this is Will

and Tasha.

- Hi.

- Love your dress.

Thank you.

How do you guys

know each other?

We went to

high school together.

Oh, we went to

college together.

- [Franky] Oh, cool.

- [Will] Yeah.

Sh*t.

- He's here.

- Who?

Usher.

No sh*t.

Okay, just relax. There's no

way he's seen the picture.

That picture's been liked

over a million times.

Yo, Usher!

- Will, come on!

- What?

[Jed] It's Usher.

Why?

- Just act like you know him.

- Oh, my God.

Jed, right?

Vegas.

- Usher.

- What's up, man, how are you?

I'm good. How are you?

Oh, man. Cool.

Listen.

I barely remember what happened

in the casino that night, man.

I don't remember

any of it.

I'm still hungover.

[Usher laughs]

Anyway. You know what?

Listen...

You mind

taking this picture?

- Yeah.

- Come on. All right.

I'm sober now.

- [Franky] There you go.

- [camera clicks]

Great.

Dude, you were

trending topic last time.

Just watch what happens

this time.

"Hashtag before the madness,

before the turner."

All right.

What's your handle?

Oh, it's @Jedtriplett.

Jedtriplett.

"Hashtag sober."

[laughs]

All right. Cool, man.

We should hang out.

Sure.

Uh... Hey, man,

put your number.

Okay.

- There you go.

- All right. Cool, man.

- Nice to meet you.

- See ya, Usher.

Hey, let's do

a quick dinner.

That's awesome.

We're gonna hang out.

Let's do a quick

photo maybe.

I'm Will...

[Usher] What's your name?

- [Will] Will.

- [Usher] Okay.

- We'll be back.

- [Will] Just snap away.

Just snap away.

- [camera clicking]

- All right.

All right, cool.

Ooh, let's do a pano.

- No, man.

- You don't wanna do a pano?

Why didn't you come

to any of the reunions?

Why would I wanna

hang out with people

that made me feel

insecure for four years?

Hmm.

Show them how wrong

they were.

I don't wanna hang my self-worth

on what other people think.

But I bet Oscar Williams

was there.

I knew it.

Yeah.

How could I forget that my prom

date danced with someone else

the whole night?

Jed, I'm sorry,

but let's be honest.

There was no way I was

getting you on the dance floor.

Well, actually...

Nah, never mind.

- What?

- No.

Now you have to tell me.

Okay, I can't believe I'm

gonna tell you this, but...

Let's say that I spent

a whole month

taking dance classes

after school

to get ready.

Dance classes, like...

swing?

Uh...

Hip hop.

No! [laughs]

What? No!

I wanted to

impress you.

This might be the greatest

thing I've ever heard.

Oh, we were so close!

If we'd just had

more time...

Hey, where...

Where are you going?

I don't know.

Let's find out.

You coming?

[man] Welcome to

Time Traveler's Adventure,

Brooklyn's premier Escape Room.

All devices must be

placed in the dropbox.

Prepare to be transported

into another world.

Hopefully it's one

you want to be in.

And remember,

there's no turning back now.

Oh! Thank goodness

you're all here.

Something terrible

has happened.

Dr. Schultz has

gone missing,

and he left this note

for all of you.

"If you're reading this, then

I'm lost in another dimension."

[gasps]

"I must have made a

breakthrough with my research.

But there's no way

for me to get back.

Unless you can help me

travel across

space and time.

My only hope is..."

[sighs and mutters]

I was doing so good.

Ah! It just cuts off there.

I don't...

All right. I'm just filling in

for a friend, so...

I've known Dr. Schultz since

I was a little girl.

He gave me

my first stethoscope.

He's not that kind

of doctor.

We can't let Dr. Schultz

and his work

disappear into

the dark abyss.

How do we save him?

I found it. I'm good.

Okay.

"You have one hour

to solve all the puzzles,

and decipher the clues

of my research,

and return me

to the present.

Otherwise, the wormhole..."

Wormhole. Okay.

"...wormhole will open up

and swallow you into

oblivion... oblivion...

oblivion..."

- [timer beeping]

- Good luck.

[upbeat music]

The room is identical.

"Look for what's in the past.

It'll help you in the present."

This is the present.

We're in the past.

We're in the past!

[timer beeping]

We're in the past!

Congratulations!

You saved me.

[all cheering]

[Jed] Holy sh*t.

[Franky] Not bad, huh?

[Jed] How are we even

in this place?

[Franky] I have a friend in

luxury real estate.

This place has been on

the market for years.

[Jed] That's a good friend.

[boat horn honks]

You remember when

we would spend

maximum an hour a week

in front of the computer?

"You have died of dysentery."

You remember that?

Oregon Trail was the best.

Think about it.

We are the only generation

that straddles the line between

the analog and digital age.

Like my older brother

totally missed it,

and my younger sister can't imagine

a second without the Internet.

Growing up now is like

making your diary public.

And then inviting people

to comment on it.

I remember having to make a

collect phone call on a payphone.

And someday I might

have to retell that story

to my grandchildren,

who won't believe it.

I used to have to write

things down on paper.

I remember having

to read handwriting,

and that wasn't fun.

I remember having to talk to all

my friends' moms when I called.

I've had to wait more than a

second to see a photo before.

I think I might owe Columbia

House like 60 bucks.

Okay, well,

you're a bad person.

Don't tell anyone.

I remember having to

talk to people face to face.

Ugh! That's the worst.

[Jed] So, what are you up to?

You know, besides saving

people from wormholes.

Um...

I'm an actor.

Really? You stuck with it.

Yeah, I just...

I just finished a run

of my last play off...

off Broadway, and...

now I'm just, uh,

looking for my next gig.

That's great.

I mean, to be able to help

people escape like that.

That's really cool

you stuck with it.

I admire that.

Let's be honest. I wish

I was doing more of it.

You should.

You're great.

Jed, it's not that easy.

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