People You May Know Page #3

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- So black?

- I think he agrees black.

Jed...

You are gonna

be the guy

that every dude

wants to hang with,

and every girl

wants to be with.

[man] You know, last time

I heard your voice,

I had a migraine

and the coke sh*t.

How's my favorite

online publisher?

Did you know NBC

bought it for 200 mil?

Can you believe it?

I'd be better though

if we were grabbing a drink.

I can't wait.

But first I need

a favor.

[message alert]

[Franky] In addition to the

three beds and bath upstairs,

you also have a full bath

off of the office downstairs.

You can always turn that into

an additional room if you want.

The house was built

in the '70s,

but the kitchen was

completely redone last year.

- Oh.

- And...

my favorite part

of the house,

the living room.

The natural light you get in here in

the afternoon is absolutely gorgeous.

I mean, you just can't find

anything like this in the city.

I mean, you just can't find

anything like this in the city.

[woman clears throat]

Mm-hmm.

I mean, you just can't find

anything like this in the city.

Hey, hope we're not too late

for the open house.

No, no. Please,

come in, take a look around.

Let me know if

you have any questions.

Sweetie, you play here, okay?

I'll be right back.

Are you a pirate?

- No.

- Are you a ballerina?

No.

All right. So what are

you supposed to be?

I'm a pirina.

Okay. Well, I didn't know

that was a thing.

It is to me.

My daddy says I can be whatever

I want when I grow up.

Well, he's right.

And what do you

want to be?

A therapist.

What about you?

Well, I, um...

I'm a realtor.

Ew.

Hey, we're sorry, but I don't

think it's gonna work out for us.

Oh, okay.

Uh, have a good day.

[Will] All right.

Adjusting to flaps here.

[Jed] Flaps adjusted.

Thank you, Jed.

What's this one?

Don't touch that one.

Tower, please have a better

friend prepared for me

that likes doing

more fun things.

Uh-huh. All right, Tower, why

don't you put on a pot of coffee,

French Roast for me.

Uh, we are coming in

for a landing.

And this is better

than a movie because...

Are you kidding me? Rifting is

the future of entertainment.

Movies are dead, bud.

We are landing

a stealth bomber together,

as a team.

That's incredible.

We're a team,

we're a virtual team.

You can't do that in

the movie theater.

I mean, this headset makes

everything better.

Do you jerk off

with these?

Did you put it

on autopilot?

It's just... We're coasting now.

We're fine.

What happens when

Dave is gone?

We have an understanding.

Virtual or not.

You understand?

Please don't

tell me anymore.

Of course.

I may look at some pornographic

material with these goggles...

Sometimes

those goggles, too.

But as long as it's

on the home page,

then I'm okay.

I can't search for specifics.

Like DILF, ass to mouth,

glory hole stuff...

which used to be

a fave of mine.

- No more.

- "Ass to mouth"?

Don't tell.

Don't even tell me.

I mean, I think you can just

say it and understand it.

Oh, and if I remember any performer

names, he'll leave me immediately.

Have you even

cleaned these?

Look, it might

sound unconventional,

but our jerk off

schedule is

what forms the basis

of our relationship.

- Trust.

- Yeah.

- Seems like you guys really got it right.

- Thank you.

Hey, I got invited to

an event tomorrow.

I've got a plus one.

- Ooh.

- I'm probably not gonna go.

An event, huh?

Is this...

Is this the Tasha thing?

- Yeah.

- Dude!

She has got your life looking

so incredible right now.

I mean,

I'm your closest friend,

and you are not

that exciting.

I'm bored right now

and I'm in a stealth bomber.

Yeah, but how exciting is it

gonna be when...

every girl who googles me

realizes I lied

on the Internet?

Dude, the ideal girl

is somebody

who would just think

that's hilarious.

Right?

I say go for it, man.

Have fun.

This is good for you.

Yeah.

I mean, go to

the party at least.

Well, are you gonna

come with me or not?

- I don't know. Dave's got this work...

- There's an open bar.

I'll be there for my best

friend when he needs me.

So I'll be there

with you,

and Dave's just gonna

have to understand that

we are also independent.

We are connected by the

heart, but separated by...

when there's free

alcohol involved.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Oh!

- Oh! No, no, no!

Oh, we are going

down, Jed.

We are going down. You gotta

stay focused in this thing.

Everybody relax back there.

Buckle up. Put your head

down between your legs.

[exhales] Jed, you got

one final chance.

No regrets.

I need you to

look me in my cold,

digital glass eyes

and tell me how you

feel about me, okay?

I'm... I'm glad that...

You would gladly take it

to the next level.

That's what I heard.

[Tasha] Hey, I just wanted to make

sure you got the suit I sent over.

Um, and once you're dressed,

take a selfie

and 'gram it with the

hashtags I just texted you.

This thing is gonna have

a ton of influencers,

so we have to

play it right.

See you soon.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Franky!

- Oh, my God!

Abby!

Why the hell am I waiting

in this rape alley for you?

What are you doing?

Here. I stole this

from catering.

- Put it on.

- Seriously?

Yeah. Change. Tell them

you are late for work,

and I'll see your cute

tush in there. Okay?

Wait. You said

you could get me in.

I said I could get in.

Oh, my God.

- Abby!

- Okay, Franky.

I know that little voice

in your head

is just telling you to

turn around and go home.

But do me a favor,

just ignore it tonight.

Babe, whatever happens,

it'll be because it was

meant to happen.

Okay?

That's my girl.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Hang on.

No, no, no, no.

Wait, Abby.

What are you doing?

No one wants to talk to

someone they can't f***.

Hurry up.

I'm freezing my tits off.

Jesus!

[techno music playing]

Oh, look at that. Blond,

coming in, pretty hot.

Why did you leave out

the hashtags?

Excuse me?

I specifically wrote down the

hashtags that you needed to include.

We don't get paid unless

you use the hashtags.

How else do you think I got you

$900 worth of free clothes?

I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

You look lovely,

by the way.

That's sweet.

Thank you.

- [sighs]

- [clears throat]

Oh, sorry.

This is my best friend, Will.

Nice to meet you.

By the way,

if anyone asks,

you're in

international finance.

Baller!

I don't know anything

about international finance.

Nobody does.

That's why it's perfect.

I'm gonna go

grab a drink.

[Will] Yeah, I wanna

get some food.

[sighs heavily]

[people chatting]

Excuse me, ma'am,

I got you a drink.

Franky Donegan.

Jed! [laughs]

How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Good.

Thank you.

Wow, I have not seen you

since high school.

Actually that's not true.

We're Facebook friends.

We are?

Totally should have

known that.

I, um...

So, um...

Can I just apologize?

For what?

For not dancing with you

at prom?

I...

I don't remember that

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