Perestroika Page #3

What does all this madness about

vodka mean?

Gorbachev started a war against

Russian traditional alcoholism

and now there is something which

looks like limited prohibition.

I have with me a famous American

physicist.

Good for Russians and bad for

me.

You should have called this morning,

we could have got you a table.

We can't do anything just now. We

take reservations ten days in advance.

I wish he'd take us to the

Studio already, and disappear.

My friend! The American doesn't

wish to have a table at all.

All he wants is a bottle of vodka. And

he's willing to pay ten times your price.

Well, that's normal. That's what

everyone pays.

It's funny. When I used to live

here everybody couldn't manage

without drinking but me.

Now I am back and desperately need

a drink, there's a vodka shortage.

There you are. You can get anything

in Moscow, it just takes know-how.

Our organization is called

"Success"

and in our joint venture, we are

guaranteed success.

But I am not a businessman.

We'll put together a group of

Soviet scientists

who'll generate scientific ideas

for sale and develop ideas

generated by American clients.

We'll make lots of hard

currency.

Excuse me. Aren't we going to

the studio?

The Head of production is

expecting me there.

He'll wait. His studio is not a

private company like mine.

It's a government agency - no

one does any work there anyway.

They say our studio is not up to

world's standards in terms of equipment.

That is not so.

Right now, for example, we're

shooting ten films simultaneously.

Take a look at this!

I'm so pleased you've come to

help your girl-friend, but, as

you can see,

it is not an interpreter she needs.

I know enough English for that.

It is a more delicate matter,

She wants to do a co-production.

Okay. Great. I'm all for a

co-production.

She needs some specific

documentary material.

Fine. We'll get it for her, but

not all of it. But something.

But now she's asking to see our

copyright to this material.

What copyright?

I talked to every attorney in

Moscow - no one knows whether we

have this copyright or not.

What's a copyright anyway?

Don't take it personal, but it's

so difficult to work with Americans!

Sex and Jews are our two most

popular subjects today.

Everyone wants to film what used

to be forbidden.

These Jewish looking actors

never used to have any work -

now they're all hot property.

Everyone of them is under three

or four contracts at once.

They're the envy of all other

actors.

Unfortunately, I have to tell you

that there is no mistake in our lists.

You have not been accepted to

the Physics/Math Department.

But isn't there a law that says

everyone graduating high school

with a gold medal

must be accepted without

entrance examinations?

Why wasn't I accepted? Because

I am a Jew?

Have enough courage to tell me

the truth!

Sit down. You snotnose!!

I am not the least bit afraid to

tell you that you weren't

accepted because you're a Jew.

Because we have twice as many

applicants like you - Jews with

gold medals -

than there are spots available

at the University!

And even if I followed the law

and turned this institution one

hundred percent Jewish,

there would still be no place

for you, personally.

I am prepared to take the

examinations along with the

other applicants.

That I cannot forbid you to do.

May I answer right away, without

preparation?

Are you sure you do not want to

think over your answer first?

I got lucky.

I pulled my favorite question.

Well, what is that question?

The modern concept of the

structure of the Universe.

All right, then. Let's hear

what you know about this.

The modern concept of the

structure of the Universe

is based upon Einstein's general

theory of relativity.

In 1917, the same year that the

Great October Revolution took

place in our own country,

another revolution also took

place.

Einstein claimed that all three

of the space Dimensions were curved

and that a spaceship travelling

in the same direction for a long

enough period of time

would return to its point of

origin.

In 1922, the Soviet

mathematician Alexander Friedman

offered another model.

In his model, the Universe

expands.

Expansion began at a point.

All of of today's models allow

for an expanding Universe.

Although I must add that not all

scientists are pleased with this.

I am not sure I like it either.

The idea of the Universe

appearing from nothing

and perishing into collapse is

somewhat unnerving to me.

How is it possible?

Did the Universe begin at the

point?

Did matter evolve from nothing?

What was there before the

creation of the Universe?

Do you know, young man, that

that particular question has

already been answered?

Long before the birth of Albert

Einstein.

No, I didn't. By whom?

By St. Augustine.

And what, in his opinion, was there

before the creation of the Universe?

In his opinion, before the

creation of the Universe

there was already a hell for

those asking such questions.

But you are a world-renowned

physicist.

So what? There are no positions

available at the University for

head of project.

Shiffman will not have me.

He has already let too many Jews

into his school,

he's a Jew himself, he's afraid

to let anyone else in.

Logov has never let Jews in and

is not about to start now

and Sarkisian is far too poor.

I will not be able to continue

my research there.

There really is no place for me

to go.

The only one who wants me is

Burkov.

So, where is the problem?

Go work for Burkov.

He has plenty of money and

you'll be able to continue your

research.

Burkov is making the bomb.

And what of that?

Do you really believe that if

you refuse to make it, it will

not be made?

I suffered under that illusion

in my youth as well,

the end result of which was that

I helped build the bomb both

here and over there.

You cannot stop progress, Sasha.

There will always be someone

willing to use scientific discovery

to further causes of evil.

What does that mean?

That science should be outlawed?

Do you think that if you don't

work for Burkov now,

some other Burkov in the future

will not find a way

to use your achievements for

more efficient warfare?

Or something even worse?

If that's the case, why not just

quit altogether?

I am only interested in the

structure of the Universe.

Why can't I be left alone to

study it?

Be left alone - in Burkov's

employ.

Even Christ, that shining beacon

of morality,

preached to "render unto Caesar

the things which are Caesar's

and unto God the things which

are God's".

Continue your cosmological

research for God,

and make the bomb - for Caesar.

I had another alternative in

mind - emigration.

At nights, I wandered the

streets,

saying goodbye to my beloved

city.

That summer in Moscow was hit

with an unprecedented heat wave.

The sidewalks practically melted

under one's feet.

The streets in Moscow were

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