Perfect Page #7

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- Just this one.

What is it?

Linda, it's an engagement ring!

Do you believe it?

Congratulations.

I love you so much.

Look, you guys.

I'll go make coffee.

I'm dying. Wait, Linda,

I'm going to cut the cake!

- Linda.

- Hey, Linda.

Sally, you should have told me.

I'm your best friend.

- I didn't know he'd give me a ring.

- Roger, you should have told me.

- You know you can't keep a secret.

- What?

- Aren't you happy for me?

- I couldn't be happier.

- What's going to happen to me?

- For God's sake, I'm only getting married.

- Sally, won't you open your presents?

- Yeah.

Please, go now. Open your presents.

Linda.

God.

- God. I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

- Let's go, let's go!

- All right!

I'm happy for you.

I'm really happy for the both of you.

Go out and open your presents.

- I'm going to make some coffee, okay?

- All right, okay.

- Be sure to make a pot of decaf, too.

- Okay.

Okay, you guys, let's open those presents.

Hi.

God.

You know, it's so easy for Sally.

It's always been so easy for her.

- I can't wait until I have plastic surgery.

- You're having plastic surgery?

- Didn't I tell you?

- No.

Yeah, I'm going to have plastic surgery.

- You're kidding?

- No.

I'm going to have a chin implant,

some cheek bones, and a different nose.

- Why? You look terrific. Are you serious?

- Yeah.

A doctor friend is going to do it.

And he knows the makeup artist

from The Dukes of Hazard.

He's going to redesign my face.

Do you think there's a connection between

your plastic surgery and your workouts?

- It's part of the same thing.

- Which is?

I want to be perfect.

The most perfect you can be.

That's what I want to be,

the most perfect me possible.

- And you'll do anything.

- Anything.

If you perfect yourself,

you'll be loved, is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Well, you put that really nice.

The most important thing as a reward

for perfection is love. Right?

Yeah. Sally thinks I'm mentally unstable.

How many spoonfuls of coffee

have I put in there?

I don't know.

I'm so drunk I can't remember.

Adam, are you going to make

a pass at me or not?

You know, you can have me. I'm available.

Thank you, but it's against the rules.

Well, since when have you been so ethical?

Everybody knows you're seeing Jessie.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'll go and see

if I can scare up a gang-bang.

These are really nice, Mary. Thank you.

- Mary, see if you can find Adam for me.

- Sure.

Yes?

- How's it going?

- Well, you got your story.

- What's the lead?

- It's just as I promised you.

Airheads, inflated bodies.

I call it "Looking for Mr. Goodbody."

- That's a good cover head.

- Yeah.

- How soon can we have it?

- When do you need to decide on the cover?

- I have to have it tomorrow.

- Yeah, well, I'm almost through.

Can't wait to get through with this

and move on to something else.

- Got anything in mind?

- How about I go after Bowles in Morocco?

I'll think about it.

By the way, turn on your radio.

The McKenzie story's all over the airwaves.

Somebody gave UPI an advance copy

and they put out a bulletin.

- You didn't give it to them, did you?

- Of course not. Did you?

- Hold on, someone's at the door.

- I'm on my way out. I'll call you later.

All right, 'bye.

Can I come in?

Want a cup of coffee?

It's not too hot.

This isn't for me.

This is for my friend, the coach.

He's back with his wife and has a new job.

Avoid using his name.

Hey, listen.

Here, I'm not using it. I didn't copy it.

I didn't use your name.

You're not in my article. Okay?

I give you my word.

Jessie.

You called me a sphincter muscle.

You are one.

- Who is it?

- It's Frankie. I just checked in.

I'll call you later, Frankie.

- I've got something for you.

- Forget it. I'll call you later.

Come on, Adam. Open the door.

What's going on in there?

You got somebody in there?

Do you ever.

Jessie, this is Frankie Smith.

She's one of our best photographers.

Not one of, the best.

Here's an advance copy

of the McKenzie issue.

They used your horrendous photographs.

Even gave him credit.

Do I know you?

You look very familiar to me.

I don't think so.

Jessie's an instructor

at the Sports Connection.

I see why you call it the Sports Erection.

I got to go. Thanks for the tape.

You look very familiar to me.

Great piece.

Referring, of course,

to the McKenzie story.

- Frankie, get out of here. I got work to do.

- For sure.

- What time do you need me?

- I don't know, 1:30 or 2:00. I'll call you.

Good, that will give me enough time

to find an assistant.

And anything else I need

to get me through the day.

Jesus! I forgot to tell you.

I already shot the cover. It's amazing.

Mark had this great idea.

Christie Brinkley in a leotard. Sensational.

See you.

United Press International reports that

it has an interview with Joseph McKenzie.

It's the only interview McKenzie's given

since his arrest on drug charges.

In it, he claims

the State Department framed him...

because he was negotiating to sell

computers to an Iron Curtain country.

The interview will be published

in Rolling Stone magazine.

- Sorry they forgot to mention your name.

- Yeah, I'm not.

- So this is it?

- Yes.

- You know what you want?

- Yes. Exactly.

Great.

Okay, guys, I need a little ass.

- Okay, guys.

- Don't be embarrassed, just take them off.

It's okay, make me suffer. Come on.

- Come on.

- What's my mother gonna say about this?

I'm in pain. All right, good.

Be in love with yourself

and look this way. All of you.

Let's go, you just sweat it. Great.

Four more!

Twos!

Singles!

Come on!

What are you doing?

She's not in the story.

- Why not?

- Give me a break.

- You got enough pictures.

- All right.

I'm flying to New York tonight.

Scott's taking me to the airport.

See you there.

- I want those that you took.

- You got them. Good shoot.

Five, six, seven, eight!

Over!

Five, six, seven, eight!

I'm glad I met you.

And I'm sorry I met you.

I'm glad that you're glad you met me.

I'm sorry that you're sorry you met me.

- I thought you put a "don't disturb" on it?

- I did. It must be important.

Hello.

It's the Associated Press.

I'd better take it. Yeah, send it through.

Hello? Yes, hello, Fred.

Well, of course I remember you.

I really can't do this now.

It's not a good time. Can I call you back?

All right.

Just for a few minutes.

Let me ask you something, first.

Do you have an advance copy

of the McKenzie piece?

Really? Where did you get it?

I'm just curious.

Who?

I've never heard of him.

I can't imagine how he got it.

I've been working on the story

for several months now.

What?

Yes. Persistence and patience, yeah.

No.

I don't think he was using me.

What?

Well, what tapes are you talking about?

No comment.

I can't talk about that right now.

How long?

I don't know, three, four hours.

That's right, in a limousine.

We went around the park.

Listen, really, I've got to go.

I'll talk to you at another time, okay?

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