Performance Page #5

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Dead. Dyed.

- Red.

- Dyed it.

Dead.

Red. Red.

Van Gogh, eh?

Oh, no. This is the normal.

- The normal?

- Yeah. I was just having a laugh.

Having a laugh, you see?

With my act. With my image.

- You know what I mean?

- I know exactly what you mean.

Thought you would.

He reckons, my agent...

...that it's time for a change.

It's time for a change.

Well, I can see his point.

Yeah, so can I.

Personally, casting one's mind back.

Yeah?

- I rather liked it.

- The?

No, you fool. Your act.

Your image.

We just remembered, see.

We've seen it.

We caught it in Hamburg. Your act.

- Oh, yes, it was fascinating.

- Oh, mushrooms. I like them fried.

Hungry, eh?

Even though, as one artist to another...

...it is a bit old-fashioned.

Yeah, well, I am a bit old-fashioned.

Or was it Berlin?

No, thanks.

Was it last year? Or was it '67?

- Sixty six.

- Sixty nine.

- Was it Paris?

- Goodbye the Bugatti.

- It was Wembley.

- Why not?

No. Tokyo.

- Tokyo?

- Tokyo. The World's Fair.

Oh, yes. It was Tokyo.

No, thanks.

Yeah, it was Tokyo.

Definitely.

Speaking of which, I just come across

downstairs on the floor.

This will sound funny,

but have you got one?

A Polaroid?

Time for a change.

Have we got one?

- Yes, no.

- Yes, no.

Just for a lark, I thought, eh?

Little Lorraine set it off.

Gave me the idea.

Yeah, we often lark about

with the Polaroid.

- Me and the girls.

- Oh, yeah? I got a Leica N3 myself.

- I never wear hats.

- Not even when performing?

- Never. No.

- What you wear then?

Look here.

Well, loose...

Loose things.

Marvelous picture.

Yeah, I never wear hats.

Oh, right, you like the mushrooms fried.

- Sorry.

- No, no.

Why don't you try this?

- I'll try anything once.

- You'll like it, it's continental.

Yeah, you're a good cook, Pherber.

Are these?

Are these photographs for narcissistic...

...or publicity purposes?

What?

Because if you're planning

to disseminate postcard-sized...

- Have you got a drop of Scotch?

- No, I'm sorry.

- Offset litho reproductions

of these by the thousand, then...

Oh, no, no, no.

- These are just for my agent.

- You see my point?

Of course I can. Of course I can.

Oh, no, no.

No, I...

I don't want these to be seen

by the general public.

- No.

- Good.

That's a load off my mind.

That's a first-class photo, Turner,

technically speaking...

...but I don't think it's a suitable image.

- You don't?

- No.

I think it's perfect.

Perfectly brown.

It's you.

- Yeah, well, that's it. I don't...

- It's perfect you.

It looks... I look dodgy.

- You know what I mean?

- I know what you mean.

Yeah. We've gone too far.

He means we haven't really got

anywhere.

He means we've got to go

much further out.

We have to go much further.

Much further back.

And faster.

Wait a minute.

Are you all right?

Yes.

Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.

Look, what I've got to have

is a little photo.

I want a little black-and-white photo,

yeah?

Look, it's just gotta be

a little bit different.

Do you know what I mean?

In black and white.

It's nothing. It's what... The accident

what done me up.

You wanted a sort of passport size, eh?

It's interesting how things

grow quickly septic.

I think maybe we ought to call

Dr. Burroughs.

Give you a shot.

A shot?

No.

No.

You know what you're doing, Pherber.

I've gotta get... I've gotta get

this little photo just right.

What photo?

Of who?

Johnny Dean.

Maybe he doesn't know who he is.

He does.

He does. He knows. He's the bogeyman.

I'm alive and well.

You push the buttons on that thing.

We push the buttons.

He's the horror show.

He's an old pro.

He can take it.

He takes it.

He dishes it out too,

bet your sweet f***ing life he does.

He's a mean bastard.

I'm the Lone Ranger.

He's a striped beast.

You enjoy your work, eh?

You've got the gift.

- What's wrong with the lights?

- Yeah.

Artificial energy.

It's pulsating into the voltage.

The flame... Hey, man, hold it!

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've never seen that sort before.

It must be scorching hot.

This is a...

This is a very pretty table.

A very pretty table.

I've an idea, I'd like a...

How much do you want for this,

Turner?

America's a blinding place for nightlife.

He's on his way, that man.

How much did you give him?

Two-thirds of the big one.

That's insane. I can't make that scene.

You should have thought of that before.

Johnny?

Johnny?

You feel better, huh?

Yeah. Not bad, not bad.

Pretty sharp.

- Gotta get a shift on.

- Sure.

Where's Rosie?

We're gonna nudge that slag.

Don't you worry about that.

Johnny?

Chas?

- Yeah?

- Look at this.

What a horrible-looking thing.

No, it's not. It's beautiful.

You had one for dinner.

Yeah?

- You've poisoned me!

- Look, don't be crazy.

- You poisoned me!

- No!

- Oh, don't be ridiculous.

- No, no.

- Just to speed things up.

- You've just been drugged.

I want to get a shift on.

I just wanna go in there, Chas.

You see, the blood of this vegetable

is boring a hole.

This second hole is penetrating

the hole of your face.

The skull of your bone.

I just wanna get right in there,

know what I mean?

- And root around like a mandragora.

- Am I going nuts?

Come on. You're beautiful.

We just dismantled you a little bit,

that's all.

Just to see how you function.

We sat through your act.

Now you're gonna sit through ours.

His act?

- They never get fed up with it, do they?

- I'm a goer, myself.

It's been on the road a million years.

A million years people have been coming

and dragging in to watch it.

I like a bit of a cavort.

I don't send them solicitors' letters.

I apply a bit of pressure.

He won't listen to me.

I know how you do it.

I know a thing of two about performing,

my boy, I can tell you.

He had the gift too, once upon a time.

You should have seen him 10 years ago.

I'll tell you this.

The only performance that makes it,

that really makes it...

...that makes it all the way,

is the one that achieves madness.

Right? Am I right?

- You with me?

- I'm with you.

He wants to know why your show...

...is a bigger turn-on than his ever was.

- How should I know?

Well, I know a thing or two

about the clientele.

They're a bunch of liars and wrigglers.

Put the frighteners on them.

Give them a bit of stick.

That's the way to make them jump.

They love it.

Always on a bummer.

Time for your new image.

- So is it different?

- Now we're getting somewhere.

America's a blinding place.

Must you really go tomorrow?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he learns

what's true and what's not.

Nothing is true.

Everything is permitted.

The last words

of the old man in the mountain.

His motto. It's a thousand years old.

Imagine yourself being

a thousand years younger.

"The old man was called,

in the language of Persia...

...Hassan-i-Sabbah.

And his people were called

the Hashishin.

He had caused a valley

between two mountains...

...to be enclosed

and turned it into a garden...

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