Performance Page #4

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Out of the country.

Out of the country?

Now listen, Tone.

I'm gonna tell you

where I keep my rainy-day money.

You shoot too much of that sh*t, Pherber.

Too much vitamin B12

has never hurt anybody.

- Behind the boiler, you mean?

- Well behind. Persevere.

There's two grand in that bag, Tone.

First off, I want you to nick a drink

for yourself. Five hundred quid.

You're a gentleman, Chas.

No, I want you to have it.

You and Marge.

Now second off...

...l've gotta get a passport.

There's a geezer... Have you got a pencil?

Cypriot geezer. His name is Thanopoulos.

Hey, Johnny,

Mom says do you want an egg?

You got that, Tone? Goodbye.

And Turner says will you come up

and see him, please.

All right, Lorrie. I'll be up.

- What a freak show.

- Where are you then?

Oh, you know, on the left.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- I tell you, it's terrible.

It's a right pisshole.

Long hair...

...beatniks...

...druggers, free love...

... foreigners, you name it.

But I'm not bothered, Tone. I'm well in.

And you couldn't find

a better hidey-hole.

In you go, Dad.

Afternoon, Mr. Turner.

Good afternoon, Mr...

There's been a mistake.

You can't have the room.

What?

It's not for rent.

Wait a minute. The lady just said...

The lady said?

I don't tell her everything.

She's my secretary.

I got a lot of work to do.

Under a lot of pressure.

Here.

No, I don't want it.

That carpet's 200 years old.

It looks it.

A valuable antique, is it?

Listen, I got to say goodbye now.

Mr. Turner, I've got all my luggage,

my stage gear...

...it's all coming here from the continent.

Your what?

My luggage.

My juggling, you know, stuff.

Why don't you go to a hotel?

A hotel? You must be joking.

Look, I need a...

I need a bohemian atmosphere.

I'm an artist, Mr. Turner.

Like yourself.

- You juggle?

- Why not?

Why, why not? Why not a jongleur?

It's the third oldest profession.

You're a performer of natural magic.

L... I perform.

I bet you do.

I can tell by your vibrations...

...you're the anti-gravity man!

Amateur night at the Apollo.

Cheops in his bloody pyramid.

He dug a juggler or two, didn't he?

Remember?

And the tetrarchs of Sodom...

...and Orbis Tertius.

Am I right? Am I right, babe?

More or less.

Personally, I just, you know...

...perform.

Oh, you're a modest chap.

Because after all, there was only one.

Only one.

- Only one what?

- And right you are.

Enrico Rastelli.

- You said it all, pal.

- Juggler to the King of Tuscany.

Now, about the room...

Fourteen balls.

How about just on a...

On a nightly basis?

Right. On a nightly basis.

On a horse.

And blindfold.

Talk about a performer.

Of course, I'm not telling you anything

you don't know, am I, old man?

You can't stay here, old man.

Not in the mood?

Why don't you play us a tune, pal?

I don't like music.

Comical little geezer.

You'll look funny when you're 50.

You'll have to go.

You wouldn't like it here.

Not like it?

A charming little basement suite?

I paid for it.

I love it.

No.

You wouldn't fit in here.

I would.

I'm determined to fit in.

I've got to fit in, Mr. Turner.

I see.

It's that bad, eh?

I wonder, Mr. Dean...

...if you were me, what would you do?

I don't know.

It depends.

It depends who you are.

Which I don't know.

Who I am? Do you know who you are?

Yes.

Well, that simplifies matters.

You can stay.

On a daily basis.

Yesterday until tomorrow, all right?

Thanks.

He wasn't that big.

I remember him quite well.

He was and all.

He was world-famous.

Well, when I was a nipper

he was chart-buster.

They come and they go. Pop stars.

He had a following.

I never fancied his stuff, myself.

I fancied him.

Old rubber lips.

He had three number one's...

...and two number two's

and a number four.

Fetch that tea over here, Lorrie.

Didn't last though, did it, his success?

- Well, he retired, didn't he?

- Oh, did he?

So, what's he do now then?

He stays... He stays here.

He's writing a book and some music.

Oh, yeah?

Is that why he's got a secretary?

That foreign bird, you know,

not the skinny one, the other one.

Pherber? Pherber's his lover, mate.

She cohabits with him

since years and years.

- Their love story's famous.

- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, you don't know nothing,

do you, Dad?

- When's Mom coming?

- Tonight.

That won't fit in, honey.

Look, it's all holes.

That won't fit in.

I know. I know how to do it.

Come on, I know. Here it is.

Look, this is the one.

You're getting fat, Lorraine.

Beans make you fat.

I'm sick of beans.

I don't really like that guy.

I think he's horrible.

You don't really like him, do you?

- What do you want...?

- I don't want anything!

I just let things happen!

Why did Turner let him stay?

- He changed his mind.

- Why?

Why did he let him stay? Why?

Mr. Dean?

Would you like me

to do your room now?

Oh, hello, Mrs. Gibbs.

No, thanks, dear. No.

Tomorrow will be fine.

Thanks a lot, love. Thank you.

"At this point,

something unforeseeable occurred.

From a corner of the room,

the old ecstatic gaucho...

... threw him a naked dagger

which landed at his feet.

Dalman bent over to pick it up.

'They would not have allowed

such things to happen to me...

...in the sanitarium,' he thought.

And he felt two things.

- The first..."

- Yes.

I know why.

- Yeah?

- Yes.

- What is it?

- I got a fly.

A fly?

In my eye.

- Why?

- Because you're afraid of him.

Yes, right.

Right.

And he's afraid too.

Of you?

Blower for you, Tony.

- Hello, uncle. How are you?

- Not bad, Tony.

Listen, I saw Thanopoulos.

He said, "Okay, yeah."

He can get you on a freighter.

Direct to the big city, New York.

Yeah, it'll cost you though.

This includes seaman's papers, passport,

graft to the skipper, all included.

Nine hundred quid.

Nine hundred?

The old robber.

Well, that's his rate.

No, Tony, you done very well.

You done very well.

- Good. When do I go?

- This week. Definitely.

Yeah.

Now listen.

He wants a little picture of you, mate.

Yeah, a little photograph

for your passport.

- You know what I mean?

- Oh, yeah. I get you. I get you.

Thanopoulos, he said,

"If you're friend's smart...

...he'll wanna look decidedly different

to what he normally does."

Grow a beard.

No, I'll think of something, Tone.

Don't worry.

Right then,

I'll hear from you tonight...

...at my gaff, 9:00, all right?

Chin up, uncle.

The land of opportunity awaits, eh?

- Three years too late.

- You said you wanted it.

I can't afford it.

I'm not sure if I like it, anyway.

I'll keep the frame.

Oh, come on, forget it.

He never buys anything.

Let's go back to Ula's.

Let's go.

Don't.

Oh, there you are.

Sorry to disturb, but has anyone

got a sixpence for the phone?

Can I use the blower up here?

We haven't got a blower up here.

What in God's name has he done

to his hair?

He's blown it.

Yeah, well, that's it, dear.

- I gotta ring up my agent again.

- Dye.

- I fancied the red.

- No, no, it was the red that was dyed.

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