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Barry:
How long did you

leave that on her for?

Hairdresser:
45, I think.

My doggone timer broke.

Her hair looks like

it's having a stroke.

Did it come out too strong?

No, not at all. Heavens, no!

That looks real good.

Besides, that's gonna relax.

- Honey, it's good.

- What do you think, Jim?

Hairdresser:

Don't you think it looks nice?

Do you like it?

Yes, I do.

It looks very attractive...

And probably practical,

very easy to take care of.

Know what, if you ask me,

she looks like a movie star!

Wait, ah...

Barbara...

Treeland.

You know? Streeland!

- Streisand.

- Like Sonny and Cher.

Or like Captain & Tennille.

Like a captain.

When exactly

is it going to relax?

This could be...

soon.

Barry:
Real, real soon.

Aurelie:

Dad, why are you going so fast?

You're young and healthy.

What's the problem?

Why'd we have to park

so far away?

I don't need to park

where everyone else parks.

Exercise is good for you.

That was standard military pace.

I'm not in the military!

Why are you so uptight?

I've already had

a hard enough day.

(chuckles) I'm not uptight.

And why have you had a hard day?

I think people

are looking at me.

People?

What people?

Maybe they're jealous.

Oh, hey, you see there?

She wishes she had your hair.

Did you see her eyes?

You really thinks

she wants my hair?

Definitely.

Listen, they said

it was gonna relax. It just...

Well, it hasn't relaxed yet,

hon. So, you can't judge.

Jim:
And I am also relaxed.

Very, extremely relaxed.

(Jim sighs)

Dean:
So...

What's Reagan like?

Oh, great sense of humor.

Doesn't always

remember your name though.

Um...

And Nancy?

Oh...

(both laugh)

Jim:
No, she's fine.

It was time to wrap up

that career and follow my dream.

So, I am very grateful

for your financial assistance.

Your scholarship

means a great deal to me.

Now, I noticed here

that it says I'm required to do

two quarters of "natation"?

Um, that's swimming.

Correct.

Yeah.

And what does that

have to do with pre-med?

Oh, it's just

one of those old rules.

We started as a religious college,

and...

we're still

quite a bit Methodist.

What about jogging?

I'm much better at jogging

than I am at swimming.

Well, a quarter of jogging

is also required.

We are very strict about it.

But have no fear,

everyone can learn to float.

Dean:
After that, you just swim.

Breast stroke,

back stroke, butterfly,

and dive off the high board.

Sure.

I already know how to float.

I swim like a seal.

Well, good.

So, then I don't think

you have anything

to worry about...

(heartbeat drowning out

Dean's voice)

Aurelie:
Dad!

You're gonna swim, right?

Is it your hair?

Is it that you're afraid

it'll fall off?

No.

It's not.

Well, I liked seeing you

on campus.

You looked really smart.

Jim:
Really?

Well, I guess that's better

than thinking,

"My dad was too dumb

to get into college.

He just sat around on

his ass, picking his nose,

and was a total imbecile."

We're both turning over

a new leaf.

(string music from TV)

Narrator:

Dolphins communicate

with members

of their family pod

through a variety of

individualized

whistles and clicks,

using nasal air sacs located

in the lower left

of the blowhole.

Surprisingly, Dolphins breathe

through their blowhole,

located at the top

of their head.

(moaning)

I love dolphins so much.

I don't feel like this

about any other animal.

Except maybe gorillas.

(dolphin sounds)

Jeanne:
I don't know

why I feel so drawn to them.

Hard to say.

Oh...

I'd love to touch one.

I bet it's all

slick and slickery!

I wonder if I'd be scared?

Not if you practiced.

How do I practice

touching a dolphin?

You could use Jell-O.

Stroke the Jell-O.

- Well?

- You...

(Jeanne groans)

Come on, I'm not

overly interested in dolphins,

is that a crime?

Aurelie, did you take

my butter dish?

I'll bring it right back!

- I want my dish back!

- I need it!

Jim, do something!

She took my butter dish!

This is adding stress

to my evening.

How would you feel

if she took your comb?

Aurelie, open up!

My butter dish

stays in the kitchen,

so I can eat corn!

We already ate corn!

(Jeanne sighs)

Hey, just don't take

your mother's butter, hon.

We can buy you

your own butter, okay?

Why did you put butter

in your hair?

That beauty student needs

to go work in a damn kennel!

She made me look

like a damn dog!

And now I have to go

make friends like this!

No cursing!

The lady said it's temporary.

I told you.

"Damn it" is contagious.

Putting Land O'Lakes in

your hair is not a good idea.

It's not smart.

The stuff's going to curdle.

- I can't even comb it!

- Okay, okay...

All right, what are we gonna do?

Let's put our heads together.

She's just nervous cause tomorrow's

her first day of school.

We've got to get

a comb through it.

We need a...

What's it called?

A pick!

A pick would be great!

A pick would get through it.

- A pick. You want a pick, hon?

- What's a pick?

You're gonna love it!

You're weird.

You are so weird.

Are you new?

What's wrong with your head?

I got a permanent.

You did it that way on purpose?

Yeah, I like it.

Plus, it's really easy

to take care of.

And I like being over dramatic.

Hey, hurry up!

Bus is leaving!

(kids chatting)

(laughter)

Hey, that girl's got an afro!

(laughter)

What you do?

Stick your finger

in the light socket?

(laughter continues)

Ronald McDonald head!

- What's your name?

- Don't sit too close!

Boy:
She's part black!

Blacks sit together!

(laughter)

- Hey, black dog!

- Who you calling black dog?

Not you, Lydia. Her!

I was calling her a black dog!

(more laughter)

I just call her a giant.

Her name's Lydia.

She's retarded.

She flunks school!

I don't even think

she takes a bath.

I take a bath! I'll kick

your ass, stink cracker!

(collective groan,

followed by laughter)

Why do they hate us so much?

What do you mean, "us"?

I'm gonna kill those honkies!

Aurelie:
They hate our hair,

right? Because it's different.

I don't care about your hair,

you dumbass!

Don't talk to me

about your stupid head

that has nothing to do with me!

If you want,

I'll be your friend.

Hell, no!

You didn't come over here

cause you wanted to sit by me.

You're just desperate!

- Boy:
Let me see your bag.

- Aurelie:
What are you doing?

- Boy:
Looky, looky.

- Aurelie:
Give it back!

Boy:
Come and get it

you curly-haired dog!

(school bell rings)

Aura...

Aurel...

Oral, Oral...

Aurahlee Dixon?

Oral sex?

Excuse me, Ray!

We do not say dirty expressions

in this classroom.

Would you like it

if your parents heard

what you just said?

Now, how do you

pronounce your name?

Aurelie.

Auralie, Auralie...

That was oral.

Sexy dog dong.

(chuckles)

Teacher:

That's not funny, Kelly!

It wasn't me.

I had something in my throat.

Well, I hope you all notice

that you should be

especially courteous to me

this year in class

because I am pregnant.

Very pregnant.

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