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Permanent Page #4
(Jim sighs)
What's going on?
Nothing, I'm the
Elephant Man now I guess.
That's right, nothing!
I go to work and I come home
to a big nothing!
Come inside,
we'll figure this out.
It's not healthy
to sleep on the grass.
Go to hell!
Mom, would you like
an apricot orange cheese ball?
No, thank you, Aurelie.
How about I give you
a foot massage?
Jeanne:
Thank you.Are you God?
No...
I'm Jerry.
Boy:
Pubic hair!So, what did you do?
If he tells me
he wants to get laid,
I say put that pecker
back in that pocket
for at least two weeks!
(scrambling noise)
Who's in here?
I bet you don't even know
what that means.
What? Virginity?
(laughter)
Somebody should leave
this bathroom.
It's a free country.
Girl:
Bullshit!Smells like stinky in here!
Somebody's stinky!
It was like that
when I got in here.
Hey, have you noticed
she has long legs like a model?
(laughter)
It's a compliment.
A what?
How'd you get
the name Oral, anyway?
Damn, was your momma on drugs
when she popped you out?
Let me see,
I'll name my baby Oral,
'Cause that's how
I got talked into
having this damn baby anyway!
What's wrong
with your hair, Butt Lick?
She said she got a permanent.
Yeah, I never seen
no permanent like that!
Cut it out!
Oh, my God!
What in the name of Hades
is that thing?
Haven't you ever heard
of a pick before?
They're popular
all over the United States.
They're for the blacks.
Girl:
Maybe that's your new name!
Pubic!
every time I see you!
- Oral!
- Get away from me!
Give me that hair spray?
Pubic needs some.
Get off of me!
Pubic hair!
What am I supposed to do?
Confront Jack?
Or play the good wife
and pretend
I never found
those porno magazines?
Which ones?
And bless your heart.
I don't know
how I'm ever gonna forget?
I don't know how you could!
Don't put me in the mood
to give birth either!
- I wouldn't imagine...
- Aurelie:
Mrs. Tripp?I was in the bathroom
Honest? Who?
I think
You had a disagreement
with Kelly?
She is not being
a nice girl today!
She really is not.
And they pulled my hair,
and they sprayed
hairspray in my face!
That is not allowed!
If that happens again,
you come and you tell me.
Again?
(students yelling)
Mrs. Tripp:
Lydia! Lydia!Don't make me get up
out of my chair!
Help me up out of this chair.
Lydia! What are you doing?
Mrs. Tripp:
Pasta everywhere.Stop it!
Why are you not controlling
these students?
Teacher:
She could slip and fall,
and she is a pregnant woman.
This is not acceptable.
Bad on you, everyone!
(buzzing)
Jim:
I just don't thinkyou tried hard enough.
Compliments and flattery
are a very effective,
time-tested method.
(metal detector buzzing)
Okay, hold on a second here.
- Have you ever found anything?
- Doesn't matter...
It's relaxing.
Jim:
You just got togive it a chance,
kind of like you
and Dale Carnegie.
Dad, you're not listening!
I need something else!
Like what?
Brass knuckles.
Brass knuckles?
Isn't that a little bit extreme?
Oh, look at this?
Oh! Look at that!
A glass bottle.
Probably used to store medicine
over 100 years ago.
My gift to you.
I don't want a bottle.
(Jim snoring)
(whales calling)
(whale calling continues)
(whale calling continues)
- Jerry:
Ma'am?- (screaming) Oh!
Sorry...
I'm so sorry.
Do you know what...?
What are these sounds?
Oh, that's whales.
Oh, no!
I love mammals.
Sea mammals!
That's my thing too.
Jerry:
The mating call...It gets real intense.
Right there.
(whale gurgling)
Real sexual, right?
- Sexual?
- Don't you think?
Oh, I don't know about that.
That's not why
I'm attracted to...
Mammals, sea mammals.
- Well, maybe it is.
- (whale call)
Sexual is everywhere.
Did you ever think about
how much fornicating
is going on...
- Grass?
- Jerry:
Uh-huh.Oh, you saw me sleeping
on the lawn the other night?
I don't usually do that.
I'm normal.
Oh, that's okay.
It's okay.
You know, for a second,
I thought you were God.
You kind of have that look.
(giggling)
Are you an artist?
I give art lessons.
I have no talent.
You don't need talent.
You just need to feel it.
Yearning.
Yeah.
(chanting)
Teacher:
That was good.Good job!
Now, the nabia, which is
right here below the nose,
is the weakest bone
in the whole body.
If you control
somebody's personal nabia,
you control them.
Volunteer?
- Man 1:
Take me.- Man 2:
Over here.Roger, come on up.
(teacher breathing deeply)
Okay.
Be a mugger.
(student groaning)
(fight noise)
Good.
You see that?
I won that there fight
with this!
Anybody can do it.
I didn't know
there was a personal nabia.
Hmm, me neither.
Think of how that knowledge
could come in handy.
Did you know that?
No.
Where are all the girls?
Not here.
They're not tough like you.
Now, Roger, I'm gonna have you
mug somebody else.
Oh, hi, Dixon family!
How you guys doing?
Good!
You guys called earlier?
Little girl getting bullied?
This one.
That's her?
Come on up, Aurala!
Why don't you give it a try!
I'm just a visitor.
There's no such thing as
visitors here in the dojo.
Okay? Now you come on up,
and you push on Roger's nabia.
- Go, go, go!
- Go on...
Come on!
Hands up.
Don't be afraid.
Okay, Roger.
Charge at her in slow motion.
Get your finger up.
Yeah, good.
Okay, here we go, ready?
Go for his nabia!
(groaning)
Way to go! Nice!
Get on back in there, Roger.
He got snot all over my finger.
Wipe it on your shorts.
(chanting)
That's how men smell.
Should we talk about
how women smell?
It's not always potpourri.
Jeanne:
You know,You can take
the first week for free.
Why quit before you start?
Yeah, hon, where's your courage?
I've got plenty of courage.
Where's yours?
Me? Courage is my middle name.
(Jeanne chuckles)
Oh wait, stop!
Isn't that a real salon?
Jim:
Right back there?In this alley?
Wow!
"Permanent repair
and straightening"...
$60?
Ah, forget it!
It costs an arm and a leg!
- Dad, can I borrow 60 bucks?
- Jim:
Yeah, sure.As soon as you show me
where the money tree is.
Well, I don't know
where the money tree is!
Neither do we!
- Let's look for it.
(chuckles)
Oh, Aurelie...
I'd even take a money shrub
at this point.
Okay, everybody!
Round one of Scooter board
hockey is about to begin!
I want you to come up
and grab a bandana,
and tie it around your head!
Okay, if you were red last year,
grab a red.
If you were blue,
keep grabbing blue.
Boys, you up first, let's go.
Coach:
Settle down!One at a time!
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"Permanent" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/permanent_15777>.
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