Person to Person Page #3

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me beat the sh*t out of you.

Okay.

Lester:
Where are you?

Um, I'm at the library.

Bullshit.

What are you reading?

Ray:
"Hunt for red October."

Bullshit.

Who wrote it?

Ray?

Must say there

on the front cover.

That's normally where

the name of the author is.

Sometimes in big letters.

This copy doesn't have a cover.

Lester:
Okay.

First thing that needs to happen

is I'm gonna come to your place

and I'm gonna break your legs.

I deserve that.

But I'm at the library.

Lester:
Go home.

I'll see you in an hour.

Come on, baby.

Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh! Yo!

You saw that.

- I was tying my shoe.

- It hit the rim

and then it hit the tree,

yo, and it went in!

Tying my shoe.

Wendy:
I understand

the insatiable urge

to procreate

with your boyfriend.

If I had one, I'd hightail

it over there, too.

Yeah, but he thinks that you

hate him because,

when I go and hang out

with him, you won't come.

Because I don't like watching

other people make out

in front of me.

Big deal.

And also for the fact that

you just don't like him,

as a person.

I'm through

explaining my opinion

on the merits

of your relationship.

If the relationship

were as strong

and meaningful

as you insist it is

by continually bringing up

conversations such as this one,

I highly doubt you'd care,

one way or another,

what I think of him.

Okay, well, the problem

is, is that

you say that it's okay for me

to go and hang out with him,

when I know

it's gonna hurt your

feelings when I do.

If you felt comfortable

around him,

we would all hang out

and we would all be happy!

Except the one person who is

the person not making out,

watching the other

two people make out.

We won't make out.

That is a straight-faced lie

and scientifically,

physically, impossible.

Melanie:
Okay, fine.

So maybe you don't

like him as a person,

but I wish you could like him,

if only for the fact that

he's important to me.

No, I detest people

who like other people

for reasons like that.

It's gross.

It causes stupid problems.

You detest everybody.

Not everybody.

Almost everybody.

I detest anybody

who's unintelligent

and ignorant of the

suffering of the world.

Scott cares a lot

about the world.

And therein lies your problem,

which is that, beneath

your paradoxical, dual desires

to both be alone

with him constantly

while also keeping

the friendships you had

before you met him

intact and unchanging,

there's like

this worry inside you

that he's not as perfect

as you think he is,

so, then, when someone,

or something, or me,

questions whether or not

he's right for you

or good enough for you,

you defend him and,

and give him these heroic

and exaggerated attributes

and paint a picture

that's not really him.

Look, I'm not saying Scott

doesn't care about the world,

but I... I am saying that

I've never seen Scott

think deeply about anything

other than video games

or your body.

I detest the way

you detest people.

I know, and I love you for that.

All right, I know

you don't want to talk to me,

but...

If you could just

tell me one thing,

anything.

No.

I was just outside talking

to my supervisor,

and one of the detectives

told him

that the wife of the deceased is

one of your customers.

She came in here

to get something fixed.

Well, that's all

that they told us.

But the thing is is that

we have a relationship,

and they have...

I mean, the other

detectives have,

you know, other relationships

with different papers.

And, eventually,

everyone finds out everything,

so, whatever you do

or don't tell me right now,

someone's gonna find out.

Job is about who finds it first.

So, just...

Just...

You just stopped

listening to me?

Oh, no. I'm just waiting

for you to leave.

Claire:
Okay.

Radio:
Ground ball down

the third baseline.

And it is an error

for the third baseman.

That's the second

Cleveland misplay.

Phil:
So, the husband's

estimated time of death

is 8:
00 pm.

Broken wristwatch

you saw on the desk

- reads 8:
02.

- Right.

The watch looks like

it belongs to a male.

Maybe it's a coincidence

that the estimated time of death

nearly matches

the time on the watch,

but is the coincidence

significant enough for us

to at least pretend

like it's true

until we find out it's not,

IE, act as if the watch

belongs to the husband

until we find out otherwise?

I'm not sure.

I'm just talking it

through out loud.

Oh, I thought you were

asking for my opinion.

No, I mean, yeah...

I'm asking what you think

and I'm asking what I think

at the same time.

Okay.

Well, what about what you

were saying earlier

about taking risks

in your guesswork?

That's right.

Very good.

- Nice place.

- Want a doughnut?

Sure.

- Good doughnut.

- Perfect texture, I think.

Best doughnuts in the city.

Maybe even the whole world,

for all we know.

I can't say I've had better.

Paul:
I'm a big fan of this rug.

Benny:
It's a nice rug.

Sit down, take a load off.

Comfortable chair, right?

Yeah, you sink in.

You got good taste.

If I ask you a direct

question, will you...

Will you be honest with me?

What do you think of this

shirt I'm wearing here?

It's new and I don't

know if it's right on me.

I noticed it the moment

you came in.

- All right, be honest.

- I mean, I don't...

I don't know you, but your

personality seems pretty,

you know,

straightforward and modest.

This shirt says something else.

You know, I guess it's probably

a little more upscale than

what you'd like to project?

I think I'd say

it's a fancy shirt.

Paul:
There's nothing wrong

with being fancy.

I wouldn't do it every day,

but, you know,

once a week's good.

Yeah, I'm warming

up to the idea.

I like your taste,

so what you say helps.

Okay, I'm gonna go get

the record, all right?

Yeah, I don't know

much about jazz.

You know, not sure

if my grandfather did,

given the condition

of the record.

It's possible he didn't

even know he owned it.

You know, I was just given some

of his things when he died.

You don't want to keep it?

Paul:
You mean for

sentimental reasons?

No, I'm not like that.

That's not true.

I'm sorry. I lied.

I mean, I forgot.

He left me his collection

of baseball cards.

He loved baseball.

I do know that.

And I'm keeping those,

but not this.

Yeah. I'm keeping

the baseball cards.

- Hey, ray, what's up, man?

- How you doing, man?

- Can't talk right now.

- Where you going?

Eugene:
Hello?

Eugene, it's ray.

Let me up.

I know you're

computer illiterate, ray.

Our whole relationship

depends on that fact.

You pay me $10 an hour,

I send out your rsums,

I update your profiles,

I buy whatever sh*t on whatever

weird websites you happen

to hear about.

But I explicitly told

you the consequences

when we were uploading

those photos

and I even had you

repeat it back to me,

"once the photos are uploaded,

what's done is done."

What's done is done, yeah.

So that means...

Which I explained to you

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