Peter And Vandy

I love you.

You do?

I do.

Well good. I love you too.

But then you've known that for a

few hours now.

I've never been here before.

This is great.

Yeah, isn't it?

Winter picnic.

Yeah. There's cheese and

crackers there if you want.

Awesome. This is so great.

Thank you so much.

No, thank you's aren't

necessary. Should we toast?

Um, do you mind if I toast?

Love it if you toasted.

There's some things I want to

get off my chest.

To the greatest person I've ever

met?

Wow, that sounded stupid.

Well the sentiment still stands.

I think you're great, and I am

very glad that we meet.

These past couple weeks have

been -

Three weeks.

Three weeks. Yeah. It's just

been great getting to know you.

You too.

And... I love you.

You don't have to say anything

back.

Okay.

Okay...

Cheers.

Cheers.

Is this a good wine?

It is, actually.

Yeah you can tell.

Are you watching this?

Why?

You're the one that - you wanted

- you're the one that wanted to

watch this.

I know

It's interesting! I mean imagine

what would the Bronx be like if

they didn't -

God! Ow!

That didn't hurt, you liar.

It was your idea, what do you,

what do you want?

Well, I have a lot of ideas.

No.

How can you say no?

I don't know. I'm not in the

mood.

It's fine.

No I kind of in the mood now.

I'm kind of in the mood.

Well, that's great.

Why are you being cross?

I'm not being cross.

I'm watching the show.

You know. You know what I mean.

Would you be interested in some

other things?

Maybe.

Let's see if we can get you

there.

Well I'm not just a switch that

you can turn on and off. Okay?

I'm a human and I have feelings.

Thanks pal.

Have a good day.

You too man.

Is anybody sitting here?

No.

You ever heard of this brand of

ginger ale?

No I haven't.

Probably costs two dollars for a

case of it.

Exactly.

Well it tastes fine.

I'm Peter.

Hi Peter.

But uh, just one last note on

this guy.

You know how he does a little

salad on the side of the chicken

and the rice like you have

there?

Yeah?

Well I started, he'll, you can

get instead of the fried rice,

he'll put a bed of salad with

the chicken on top for ya.

So you get a salad with grilled

chicken for $3.50.

That's Good to know.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean you can continue to eat

the, all that fried stuff,

but, if you're interested in

something a little more healthy,

less fattening,

uh, he'll uh, he'll make it for

just salad for ya.

How come you're having it with

rice?

I'm in training.

So I'm carboloading.

Well what are you in training

for?

Uh a rice eating competition.

Good luck.

No, I'm just in a hungry man

kind of a mood today.

Like one of those lumberjacks

from the frozen dinner

commercials?

Yeah. I see you're the same way.

Lumber "Jill."

I'm sorry, I just forgot your

name.

Jill.

Right. I'm Jack. Uh no but um I

told you before I'm um Peter.

I'm Vandy.

Vandy? Are you being serious

this time?

Yeah.

No that's a cool name. I've

never heard that name. Vandy.

I was just uh joking about the

rice and everything.

I'm aware.

I don't know what I was saying.

That was, sorry.

No but the uh chicken and rice

is actually pretty healthy too.

But yeah.

That guy is nice. At the cart.

Sure is.

So do you work around here?

No, I'm just here for jury duty.

Oh well, hey I don't know what

your schedule is but uh maybe we

could maybe the two of us

What's up man

Hey Gary.

What's going on. Is the lunch

guy here? Did you get my salad?

Yeah uh, this is Gary, we work

together. This is Vandy.

Whaty?

Vandy.

Hi Vandy.

Um well, I have to go.

It was nice meeting both of you.

You too Vandy.

Well you know, maybe I'll see

you around.

So long.

What the f***.

What? Did you know her?

No.

My bad.

Here's your f***ing salad man.

Um, maybe you should go back to

your apartment.

Yeah. Yeah. I think.

I think I'm not ready for you to

stay here.

Okay, yeah.

Do you want me to set up the

couch?

Do you want to do that?

Uh, this is stupid.

No I mean I can, I can take a

cab.

Okay.

Well no, do you mind if I stay

on the couch?

I think that maybe it could be a

good idea.

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

I'm starving. You hungry?

Little bit.

Hey. Let's go to new Vietnamese

place we keep saying we're going

to try.

Uh...

You said you wanted to go.

I don't really feel like putting

my shoes on and everything.

Okay.

What do you feel like?

I'm not that hungry why don't

you uh look go look through the

menus and choose.

You feel like Chinese?

Whatever. You choose.

I don't even know if I want

Chinese.

Have we ordered form this Thai

place?

Yeah. That's the one where you

said the Pad Thai tasted like

Vagina.

That wasn't this place. And I

didn't say it tasted like

Vagina.

I said this Pad That tastes like

"Poon Thai."

Pick a place Peter.

F*** it! Chinese.

Chinese good with you?

Fine.

Well what would you rather have?

I just said Chinese was fine.

Alright. So we'll get Sesame

chicken white meat only, and,

um, do you want Lo Mein?

Anything.

It's too much starch. You want a

shrimp dish?

Peter. Whatever.

Well you're not helping me.

Just pick two dishes.

Fine. I'll get the eggplant.

Like I wanted.

Fine.

I'll just have some of the

chicken.

Well I'm not going to order a

whole eggplant for myself.

Get it, you can have left over's

tomorrow.

Eggplant sucks the next day.

It's not even that good the

first day.

F*** it. Let's go to the

Vietnamese place.

I don't feel like going out.

Come on, I don't want take out.

I'm settled in now.

Come on. I'm going to kill you.

Go get my coat.

Oh remind me to pick up some oil

soap on the way home.

Are we breaking in a new

baseball glove?

No. I'm breaking in a new purse.

What? Are you - really?

Yeah. Sometimes you want them

to look not so new.

That's so cool. Do you put it

under your mattress?

What?

Well that's what you do with

baseball gloves.

Thank you very much.

Do you tie it up with string or?

That's what you do with a

baseball glove?

Yes, you tie it up with string

and put a baseball inside and

you rub it down.

You don't, you don't put a

baseball inside?

Are you okay?

Just had a little aftertaste of

vagina.

Sorry. Here try it.

Try it?

Come on. Just smell it then.

Just experiment, loosen up.

No I don't want your "Poon

Thai."

Okay. Ew it got on me.

Exactly. This Pad Thai tastes

like "Poon Thai."

Can I have some of yours?

You're going to keep eating it?

Hey

Hey what's up man.

Keith

No no, hey Keith.

You had that look on your face

like maybe you didn't remember

my name.

No no no, not at all.

Vandy's brotherinlaw.

Right, right. He really does

look like that guy.

I know.

So uh you've met my wife Emma.

Hi I remember Emma also.

How are you Emma? How's Delia

I'm good how are you? She's

great she's over at the kid's

table having a blast.

You know I don't believe that

we're not at the same table.

I know.

I think it's crap.

It is.

It's ridiculous.

I know you guys never get a

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