Pillow Talk

Brad darling.

I love you.

- I know.

I just had to call you.

I'll never forget last night.

Especially your new song.

Our song, Eileen.

I wrote it for you.

Oh, Brad.

Would you sing it to me again?

Oh now?

- Please.

Alright.

"You are my inspiration, Eileen.

A perfect combination, Eileen.

Your eyes,

your hair are beyond compare.

So is it any wonder?

You captured me,

and now

I'm under your spell? Eileen ...

I hate to interrupt,

but would you mind hanging up?

Who's that? - The other half

of my party line. She'll go away.

You've been talking for 30 minutes.

My call is urgent.

This is an urgent call, too.

- Singing to a girl at 9 a.m.?

It's not your business

what he does to me. Or when.

Would you get off this line!

I know it's early, cher.

But I just had to talk to you.

Will I see you tonight?

- I'm sorry, Yvette. I have to work.

I have 6 songs to write

for the new show.

You'll have to eat dinner, no?

- I'll throw something together here.

No, darling, you mustn't.

You must keep up your strength.

I'll come over and cook for you, yes?

Well, if you like.

Thank you, darling.

- It's nothing.

Brad?

Sing me a litte of our song.

- Oh Yvette.

Please.

"Tu es une inspiration, Yvette.

Une parfaite combination, Yvette."

Would you get off this phone!

Who is that woman?

- An eavesdropper on my party line.

She always listens in.

lt brightens up her drab, empty life.

If I could call once in awhile,

my life wouldn't be so drab.

Must you zoom up so fast?

Are you jet-propelled or something?

- Good morning, Alma.

The laundryman's coming by.

Would you clean the cupboards for me?

Call the office and tell them I'll be

a little late? - What a hangover.

I'm afraid so.

- Why does she get stoned every night?

I don't know, Harry.

Maybe she's got a party line.

Your phone company wants

everyone to have a private phone.

We're putting in trunk lines

as fast as we can. But it takes time.

We have hundreds of applications,

which have priority.

There must be some way.

Well, if an emergency arose.

If you were pregnant,

you'd jump to the top of our list.

Being single,

I'm not quite ready for that.

I don't know what to suggest.

- I'm at wit's end.

I'm an interior decorator

and I often work at home.

I must make business calls.

But that man is always on the phone.

Oo you know what it's like

to share a line with a sex maniac?

That's a very serious charge, Madame.

Can you substantiate it?

- He sings love songs at 9 a.m.

Ooes he use objectionable language?

No.

- Or threats of any nature? - No.

Any immoral overtures?

Not to me.

- Ooes this bother you? - Yes.

No. What do you mean, bothered?

His conduct with all these women.

I don't care what he does,

he should stop doing it on my phone.

We'll send an inspector over.

Thank you. I'd appreciate that.

If what you say is true, we may have

to disconnect him. - Good.

Haven't you reached Jan yet?

Keep trying. If she's not here soon,

that woman is going to drive me crazy.

Ming dynasty in a rumpus room.

Mrs. Walters, be careful.

This is priceless.

- Really? What is it?

A 14th century crematory urn.

- A crematory urn?

Is anybody in it?

- Not at the moment.

Good. Then we can drill a hole in it.

A hole?

- So we can wire it for a lamp.

Mrs. Walters, we do not wire

14th century crematory urns.

I suppose not.

Jan.

Hello, Jonathon.

Hi. I got something to tell you.

I tried to call. But your line's busy.

- Naturally.

Just picked it up. How do you like it?

Marvellous. - Like the color?

- Just beautiful. - The upholstery?

It's yours.

In grateful appreciation

of your brilliant job in my office.

What? Jonathon,

you can't go around giving girls cars.

I do. - This your car, Mac?

- No, it's hers.

Is this your car, Miss?

- No, it's his.

Jonathon, you're sweet and generous,

but I cannot accept a gift like this.

Why not?

- It's too, it's too personal.

This?

- Yes.

If I gave you perfume or lingerie,

that would be personal.

But a car?

Come on. If it's yours, move it.

- Here. Send me the perfume.

Are you coming to my office tomorrow?

- In the afternoon. - Listen.

Are you sure

you don't want the car? - Yes.

See you tomorrow.

My analyst will never believe this.

- Neither will mine.

Good morning.

I'm sorry to be so late.

That's alright. Mr. Peirot and l

have had a fruitful morning.

Very fruitful.

- Good.

What are you doing with that?

- I picked it out myself.

A fertility goddess is the last thing

you need in Scarsdale.

A fertility goddess?

Oh dear, I had no idea.

Oon't forget,

I'm expecting you at the housewarming.

We'll be there.

Savage little thing, isn't it?

That woman has

the taste of a water buffalo.

Why do business with her?

- She's a very rich water buffalo.

If you ever leave me

alone with her again ...

Where were you? I tried all morning.

- Lover boy got started early today.

There must be some way

to get a private line.

Then say it's an emergency.

- Thank you, Mr. P.

I reported him to the phone company.

- It's about time.

They're sending someone over.

As for me, whatever he gets,

he deserved it. - Good.

I'm from the telephone company.

Well, hello.

I ...

- Yes? - I'm ...

I'm Miss Oickenson. I'm an inspector.

What would you like to inspect?

- You.

I mean

we received a complaint about you.

Well, I've never had

any complaints before.

Won't you come in?

- Thank you.

You don't have to break

the sound barrier, you hot-rodder.

Alma?

Well, I heard from the phone company.

I can't get a call through,

and they send me this.

"Your complaint

is entirely unwarranted.

According to our inspector,

Miss Oickenson."

They sent a woman.

It's like sending a marshmallow

to put out a bonfire.

Read it yourself.

You know

I never get into focus until 10 a.m.

"Our inspector found

Mr. Allen to be very cooperative."

I'll bet he was.

Hello?

- Miss Morrow? My name is Brad Allen.

Yes? - The phone company

gave me a code number for our line.

It's 793.

If you have any future complaints,

I suggest you call me personally.

If I hadn't complained,

the inspector wouldn't have found out

how friendly you are. - Miss Morrow,

why do

my personal affairs interest you?

It's not interest,

Mr. Allen. It's revolt.

I don't go around

complaining about your affairs.

I have none to complain about.

- lt figures.

What do you mean? - It's obvious

you live alone and don't like it.

I like living alone.

Oon't take your bedroom problems

out on me.

I have no bedroom problems.

There's nothing there that bothers me.

Too bad.

Let's try to be adult about this,

work out some schedule

where I can make my business calls

and you can make your ...

whatever you call them.

From the hour to the half-hour,

the phone is yours. Afterwards mine.

If someone gets

a call during the other's time,

he or she will terminate

the call as quickly as possible.

In emergencies,

each must be a little tolerant.

How does it sound?

- Like a UN report.

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