Pillow Talk Page #6

Have you seen her? - No.

- Have you talked to her? - No.

My psychiatrist and my dentist said

I should give her up.

Where have you been the last 3 days?

I stayed up there,

working on the new songs.

What have you done?

- This.

And this. And this.

- Go on.

I couldn't come up with a thing.

I sat there, feeling guilty.

Guilty? You?

I saw you work on 3 sisters at once.

You came up with your best songs.

Now, just one girl makes you feel

guilty? - I don't know.

What do you know. You're in love.

The mighty tree has toppled.

For years I've been waiting

for them to yell "timber" over you.

You could be right.

- You're darn right.

You love her

and she can't stand you.

That's wonderful.

Wonderful.

It's almost worth the loose teeth.

Yeah?

- Miss Morrow is here.

Tell her to come in.

- Is there a back way out?

This'll be fun.

Good morning.

- Jan.

Here's the painting I mentioned.

Let's get on with the hanging.

You know Brad Allen, don't you?

The ex-Rex.

The tables are coming at 4.

- Fine.

Jan!

Jan, wait.

I don't blame you for hating me.

I'm trying to apologize.

Excuse me.

Where did he go?

- I don't know, but he came out there.

You let him go again?

- You don't believe ...

A prejudiced view never advanced

the cause of science.

Somewhere there may be a man

who's crossed a new frontier.

How do I get her back?

- You don't.

You suffer and I watch.

- There must be a way.

There's got to.

- What a delightful situation.

The great Brad Allen, chopped down

and floating with the rest of us logs.

To win over a girl, you're nice

to her dog. - No dog.

Then you're nice to her mother.

- Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

If worse comes to worse,

you work on her maid. - Alma?

You couldn't get to first base.

Alma.

Thanks a lot.

Excuse me.

May I talk to you?

Yes.

My name is Brad Allen, and ...

- Mr. Allen, of course.

Get lost.

I'd know that voice anywhere.

- You know me?

"You are my inspiration, Alma."

The telephone.

I'm one of the most devoted listeners.

- Thank you. - That's okay.

It's chilly out here. How about

we stop for a drink somewhere?

I don't usually.

I might have one.

- Good.

I know a nice little bar.

- I know a better one.

Another one?

No?

- No.

Let's take this problem

from the beginning.

You're in love with her

and you want to win her back.

The first thing you do

is get her to talk to you.

Right?

- Right.

It's really very simple.

You've got an apartment.

She decorates them.

You hire her to do your place.

Two people decorating an apartment

are pretty intimate. - lntimate.

She's got to talk to you.

Clever?

- Clever.

Once you start talking

it's only a matter of time.

Now remember,

you hire her

to decorate your apartment.

Okay?

- Okay.

Happy?

- Happy.

Would you care for a little snack?

Hi, slugger. This'll fix you up.

How do you feel?

- Oh, boy.

I've had hangovers before,

but this one ...

Even my hair hurts.

- And you wanted to get her drunk.

The bottle of scotch was okay.

I lost her halfway through the vodka.

This'll fix you up.

It's got a lot of olive oil in it.

The State Oepartment could use her.

What a party girl she'd be in Moscow.

And two raw eggs.

- Oh, go away.

Oidn't you find out anything?

All I remember is this voice,

swimming through the scotch:

"You've got an apartment.

She decorates them."

"Right?"

- Right.

Of course. Where does she work?

Pierot's.

But she won't talk to you.

But Pierot will.

You know the number?

- Yeah.

Oial it.

Not so loud.

What do you think?

But you threw out all my ideas.

Well ...

- I hate to say this,

but you were right. This is better.

If you repeat that to anyone,

you're fired.

Tilda,

when you're back from the post office,

call Brad Allen back.

Tell me it's impossible.

He'll have to find someone else.

Yes, sir.

You're turning him down?

- I have to.

But why?

- I haven't the time for him.

And I can't send you,

not with how you feel about him.

You shouldn't lose

a commission because of me.

I couldn't subject you

to such an experience.

lt might be,

how would you say, traumatic.

That's silly.

I once had the mumps.

but I got over it.

Mumps? - I look upon

Brad Allen like any other disease.

I've had him, it's over, I'm immune.

If you think you can handle it.

- I certainly can.

It's your decision.

Mr. Allen? Pierot.

She's coming over.

Miss Morrow.

I was expecting Mr. Pierot.

Mr. Pierot is unavailable right now.

If you'd rather wait until ...

No, no. You'll do just fine.

Please come in.

It's just a little ...

It's embarrassing.

- I'm a decorator, you're a client.

I'm here because you are paying

for my services.

Now, what style did you have in mind?

Nothing in particular.

I'm leaving that up to you.

Now here ...

This is where I work.

Living room.

Over here is the kitchen, dining room.

Over there ...

- And up there?

The bedroom.

And these?

- Light switches.

Just switches.

Aren't they inconvenient?

- Why, no.

The man who lived here before me

had very long arms.

Over here ...

Mr. Allen,

I have to know what everything is for.

This is the fireplace.

What does the other switch do?

- It's just a light swtich.

Please.

Jan, I ...

- Why redecorate?

It's so functional for your purposes.

Not anymore.

That's why I want you to redecorate.

That bed is the first to go.

Anything you think is in bad taste,

throw it out.

This should be the type of place ...

Well ...

... that you'd feel comfortable in.

Good.

Well.

You take over.

And I'll stay here

and do my work.

I'm sorry.

You'll have to move out.

Until I'm finished.

- Move out?

You'd just be in the way

of the men working here.

But there'll be things to discuss.

You'll have to give me carte blanche.

Well, I ... - If you feel that way ...

- No. I'll leave.

Just do the place

the way you'd like it.

I will.

Tilda,

call these shops.

I'm going to pick up a few things.

We don't deal with any of these shops.

You know what their stuff is like.

You bet I do.

You didn't see that man's apartment.

He's got it down to a science.

He pushes a button and the couch

becomes a bed with baby blue sheets.

Really?

And him acting so embarrassed.

Big phoney.

He's like a spider

and expects me to redecorate his web.

Eileen? Brad.

Oear, I want you

to be the first to know.

I've met this girl,

I'm planning to marry her.

Oh nonsense,

you have everything to live for.

No. It's not nauseating enough.

That one with the 2 heads.

You're not serious?

- Wrap it.

Marie? Brad.

Oear, I want you

to be the first to know ...

With big velour tassels.

Tassels?

- Tassels!

Goodbye, my dear.

Yes, Mr. Allen. Your apartment

will be ready in the morning.

There's just one final touch missing.

Goodbye.

Behold, Jonathon.

The work of a woman in love.

Oh, no.

I hope

you saved those telephone numbers.

What?

- That chair, it bit me.

Get dressed.

- Get out. - We're going to my place.

I've seen it.

- So what. Get dressed. - No.

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