Ping Pong Summer Page #4

Shouldn't you be practicing

for the big showdown?

Nyack, nyack, nyack, nyack, nyack.

Nice space pants, Astra-Nut.

Why the long face?

You got girl problems?

You couldn't get

a girl it you tried.

You're so skinny you got to run

around in the shower to get wet.

You need a fat one.

One that goes.

You couldn't catch a girl

if we tied a bone around your neck!

Loser!

You need that big girl to

come throw the ball for you.

Hey, go get his quarter, don't

let him get out of here!

You alright?

I'm fine.

I don't think so. What happened?

I could've kissed her.

She wanted me to kiss her.

But I chickened out.

And then she kissed Lyle.

Well, that's bad.

Um, but next time,

you should just, uh,

you know, make it simpler.

If you want to kiss her, kiss her.

If you don't want to kiss

her, don't kiss her,

and then, you know, if

she doesn't like you,

well then, you don't

want to kiss her. Right?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- Sorry for bothering you.

- What's your name, kid?

- Rad.

- Rad?

Rad. Rad.

Well, Rad, you know,

you don't have to apologize

to somebody for bothering them

if they're the one that

started the conversation.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Sorry.

Don't go near that place

if you can help it!

I think you might

want to leave, buddy.

What's your name, kid?

Rad?

Hey.

I'm sorry about the other night.

I got really drunk. I don't

even know what happened.

Well, maybe you should try

to control yourself better.

Look, I'm sorry if I gave you

the wrong idea about us, but...

No, I got the wrong idea about you.

It's not like we were

even close to dating.

You know, Teddy warned

me and he was right.

You're nothing

but a stone-cold skeezer.

That was by far the coolest

thing you've ever done.

Felt pretty cool.

Whoa, maybe you actually are cool.

Yo, yo, yo, what's happening,

Ebony and Ivory?

Or is it Ebony and Ebony?

More like Ivory and Ivory!

Hope you've been

practicing, Miracle.

That's a fitting last name,

since you're going to need one.

You should change your

last name to Skunk!

Hello?

You were a ping pong champion?

And a bowling champion

and a hot rod champion,

but you were really

a ping pong champion?

Yeah. So?

Can you help me?

It's time to cut these beauties.

You want to help?

Uh...

Well, I loved playing ping pong.

But, you know, to compete,

to be really good,

you just have to

practice all the time,

all the time. I mean,

you can't have vacations

or a social life,

anything like that.

And I hated the tournaments.

It just took all of the

fun out of it for me.

I don't want to become

some world class superstar.

I just really want to beat Lyle.

Well...

I think it'll take one lesson

to beat that spoiled

little dipshit.

Let's do it.

Whoa.

What's this?

This is your new paddle.

Here, let's get your finger out.

See that grip? Good.

Show me what you got.

Aren't you going to play with me?

No, you have to beat yourself

before you beat somebody else.

I'm just going to

sit here and drink.

That's it.

The ball making contact, ball making

contact, ball making contact.

That's it. You don't

need crazy spin

or flashy moves, you don't

even need any style, really.

You just have to focus

and watch the ball making contact.

Focus. Ball making contact,

ball making contact, good!

Ball making contact,

ball making contact...

Oh. Try it again.

Oh, you are in your head, man, and

you've got all this negative chatter

that you're thinking,

"I'm so nervous,"

"I don't know what I'm doing,"

"Lyle's too big," "What's Randi thinking?"

You've just got to switch it off, okay?

And reload.

Physically, mentally,

and emotionally.

And you do that by having

a recovery routine.

Every pro has one.

After a point, you go to

your recovery routine.

You might see some pros,

they go up and they touch

the table like that,

or they blow on the ball,

they blow on their palms,

they take their towel

out, maybe all of them.

I used to jump

up-and-down on my toes

and then go to my safe zone

and come back and focus.

Got it?

Okay, so, what is your

recovery routine going to be?

Okay, well, we don't have

to decide that right now.

Just start focusing. Go ahead.

Ball making contact, there you go.

Good.

That's it.

The ball hitting the paddle.

That's it. Keep it low.

Use a smasher. You don't

want to give it to him.

That's it! The ball making contact, the ball

making contact, the ball making contact.

That's it, now focus, focus.

Good, good!

The ball making contact,

the ball making contact.

That's it, keep your focus.

Keep your focus, that's it.

Keep your focus.

That's it, that's it,

keep your focus.

Good. Okay.

The ball making contact,

the ball making contact,

the ball making contact,

the ball making contact,

the ball making contact,

the ball making contact,

the ball making contact,

good, the ball making contact.

Oh, you lost your focus.

Teddy, get in here!

Teddy, this is Randi Jammer.

Randi Jammer, this is my

best friend, Teddy Fryy.

Well. Nice to meet you

best friend Teddy Fryy.

Are you going to come tomorrow?

You don't need me there.

Radford.

Radical.

You're not Radford Miracle.

You're Radical Miracle!

And you're...

Teddy Flyy.

And what about you, Randi Jammer?

You're the Rammer!

No.

Maybe I could come visit

you in Mount Airy.

Or you could come visit

me in Baltimore.

I don't really have

any friends back home.

I don't either.

I wish this summer

didn't ever have to end.

Yeah. It was the best summer ever.

But you know what's going

to make it even better?

What?

When you cream Lyle tomorrow!

Rad Miracle fold Lyle Ace

he was going to skunk him!

And then he hawked

a loogie on his IROC!

One game. One game. No excuses.

What did you just do? You're crazy.

Do you "smort" cocaine?

- I'm going to go pee now.

- Have fun.

Bologna and cheese.

Morning, bud.

Morning.

So, I heard about your

big showdown today.

Who told you?

Teddy told Michelle

and she told us.

Are you going to come?

Do you want us to?

I guess so.

Of course we're going to be there.

Listen, I hear this kid you're

playing is a real punk.

But remember, it's just a game,

and even if you lose,

it's not the end of the world.

It's just not.

We'll love you no matter what.

I just want to beat him so bad.

Bad meaning bad

or bad meaning good?

- Bad meaning both.

- Hm.

Hey Michelle, can you

bring me my coffee?

Bring it yourself!

She's got a mouth on

her, doesn't she?

I'm not asking, I'm telling!

Whatever.

I didn't want to splurge

but your mother insisted.

Come here.

Ohhh.

It was 37 dollars.

- We'll take it out of your pocket money.

- Oh, yeah.

Rad?

You look different.

Listen, I'm so sorry things got

so messed up between us.

But I'm getting my

life back on track

and I'm off the Funk Punch forever.

What about cocaine?

I never did cocaine, Rad.

I guess you could say brain

freeze was my addiction.

Then what was the powder you

mixed into your Funk Punch?

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