Piranha

Oh... boy...

That's a fast fish.

C'mon... C'mon! C'mon!

Look at that!

Son of a b*tch!

Help...!

Help me...!

PIRANHA:

Officer! It was a mistake.

Can't we work something out here?

No! Mistake or no mistake.

you just destroyed public property.

And from the smell of your breath!

I suggest you take the ticket.

Maybe get a ride home with your friends.

Oh, I don't know, I was kinda

hoping you might drive me home.

Touching a officer's uniform is consider assault?

Are you aware of that?

C'mon...

You look pretty hot in a tan.

It's not tan...

It's beige.

Hey, you think you can take it easy on us?

You boys take one more step!

You'll be pissing lightning bolts into next week.

Okay!

Yeah! Pretty much your everyday in college.

Kelly! Hey! Hmm...

I wasn't sure you were coming back...

for spring break.

Yeah! I'm... I'm here.

I can only assume you're here to

get on one of those boats.

No, no...

I came down here to pick up

my little sister for music lessons.

How bout yourself?

I'm just waiting for my ride.

Todd and his friends... We're gonna

go check out some music.

Todd Dupree?

Remind me who you going out with again?

Guy have standards alright!

That's all I'm saying.

Look! Todd's a really good DJ.

Kelly!

Let's go! Jump in, we're late!

Listen! He says he's got backstage passes for "Planners".

You should come.

Yeah I would...

But I'm pretty much under house arrest

watching Zana and Laura...

Then too bad.

I'll miss ya.

Anyway look! I'd gotta go.

C'mon! Let's go!

Yeah, yeah and hopefully I'll see

you again before you...

or you'll leave...

Gonna make a move, Jake.

Hey! Asswipe!

Cool shirt!

Nice horn.

Thanks.

Nice b*obs.

Thanks

I have a training bra...

but I do not like to wear it.

Cos it itches.

Tell me about it.

Who're you waiting for?

My brother Jake. He's 17.

He'll like your b*obs too.

They all do.

C'mon Laura, let's go.

What happened to you?

Look. I don't want to talk

about it okay. Let's go.

Hi Jake!

Try not to stare at her b*obs.

Shut up.

I like your shirt.

Why? You want to throw something at me too?

No! Actually I like The Pixies.

Danni, Danni...

Where the hell is Crystal?

She's over there with Andrew...

They're gettin sunscreen.

We're just waiting.

Sunscreen?

Andrew! Crystal! we don't need sunscreen!

We need body paint! We need condoms!

We need ready whip!

You tell her 10 am tomorrow.

I want her bleached, blonded, booty at the marina.

Gonna get off my first shot by noon.

So bright and early baby!

Make sure those tities are nice and perky!

Who's this?

This is Jake.

He's a lifeful.

A sandrat huh?

You know your way around the lake?

Aah... Yeah!

You wanna job? I pay cash money.

Don't bullshit me Jake.

My guide didn't show and I

need somebody ASAP so...

somebody I can rely on...

Somebody with...

Ambition,

Someone who's willing to take chances...

... If you know what I mean.

Mister! You talk funny.

Yeah, well you're short.

Hold on.

This is Derrick!

Don't you disappoint me motherf***er...

I'd... I told you...

I want the biggest god damn boat this

poe den town got to offer.

Hold on...

Who is that?!

Derrick?

He's the director.

Oh! So you're like a ...

an actress or what?

I'm a "Wild Wild Girl''.

What's a ''Wild Wild Girl'', Jake?

Cos we've no boats!

No! F*** the waiver!

You sign the waiver!

So, Jake baby we gonna do this?

Do?

The job? Location scout.

Got us around...

The G spot. I need a local.

Show us all the good spots.

I need you.

We're talking life lessons here, Jake.

Great!

Don't be late.

And... wear a different shirt.

Guess we see you tomorrow Jake.

Actually! tomorrow he's ...

Jake?

Why you're gonna knock if

you're just gonna walk in?!

Am I disturbing you?

No, I'm just...

doing homework and...

and school work and research for school.

Laura!

Have been telling me that you may have

some other plans...

for tomorrow.

No! What's she talking about...

I'm a 100% baby sitting.

What? No, no... we don't want a babysitter!

Yeah mom! Especially not Jake.

Please...

- especially not Jake...

I'm serious.

No! We don't need one now!

- Get out, out, out!

Out...

Mom! C'mon... Please! We have to talk about this...

Mom...

Jake, you know I do not have a backup.

Yeah I know mom.

Yeah don't worry. I know how

crazy this week is for you.

And...

I'll take care of the nitwits, okay.

Remember, if you do not fulfill your responsiblity...

I have the power to arrest and...

and imprison you.

Mom, I'm not 12 okay.

playing the sheriff card isn't gonna work anymore.

No?

- No.

Like I said, I'll take care of it okay?

Alright.

Better.

Get outta here.

Alright... Well next year I'll try to find another solution.

Alright.

- Alright!

Okay.

Oh! And Jake?

Oh mom! C'mon on!

Really!

It's time for dinner.

Alright, alright... I'll be right there.

I hope I didn't wake the kids.

Oh god! They'll sleep thru anything.

So Maggie said that yesterday was

last time she saw them?

Yeah, just before noon.

She said Matt took the boat out to catch some bass.

She drove around the lake all night looking for him.

Where's the boat?

- Over there.

You feeling like a skinnydip?

Yeah, I think we can make it to the end of the pier.

Meaning what?

I'm too old or I'm too heavy?

I think you're too chickenshit.

By the way, Gordon called last night.

Yeah?

He said the USGS recorded a heavy

seismic activity beneath the lake.

Really?

They're sending in a team of seismologist divers.

Alright!

And he said you will escort them out.

Jesus Christ.

Just been invaded by 20,000 kids...

makes us a little busy at the moment.

You know. That's what I told them.

This doesn't sound too good.

So what time is the divers...

gonna get here?

He said about 10.

Sh*t.

C'mon just a little more.

Can't get it.

Give me your hand!

You think a propeller could have done it?

I doubt it.

Look at the bones, nothing's broken.

It's like something acidic...

or toxic decomposition.

Well if the body's been in the water for weeks.

What would you say if I was thinking about closing the lake?

You know, just until we get an autopsy report.

The autopsy report is gonna take a couple of days.

It'll be easier to drain this lake then to close it.

It's a big financial week for our town.

Too old for this.

We're not lying to mom.

Yeah! We're not lying to mom.

Come on guys...

every year it's the same thing.

I'm stuck here with you guys while...

I miss all spring break fun.

You mean spring break boobies?

What if I give you guys the cash for babysitting?

Sixty dollars and you got a deal.

Sixty! I'm only getting paid forty!

Twenty dollars deception surcharge.

Do not pickup the phone.

Do not answer the door.

And do not leave the house.

Okay? I'm counting on you guys.

Alright?

Hi!

After the dive.

Our presence is requested at the Kokamo's.

By the Arizona State Cheerleading team.

Hi! I'm Sherffi Forester.

Bob Gordon asked me to take you out to the site.

Very good to meet you.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes