Piranha 3D

It was a mistake. Can't we just work something out here?

Mistake or no mistake, you just destroyed private property.

And from the smell of your breath,

I suggest you take the ticket.

Maybe get a ride home with your friends.

I don't know, I thought you'd take you home.

Touching an officers uniform is considered an assault?

Were you aware of that?

You look pretty hot in tan.

It's not tan, it's beige!

Hey, take it easy!

Another step and you'll pissing lightning bolts into next week, ok?

Pretty much your average day in college

Hey Kelly, I wasn't sure you'd be coming back for spring break.

Yeah, I'm here

I can only assume you're down here

to get on one of those boats

No, I came down here to pick up

my little sister for music lessons.

What about yourself?

I'm just waiting for my ride. Todd and his friends,

we're gonna go check out some music.

Todd Dupree?

Remind me who you're going out with again?

You gotta have standards ok, thats all I'm saying

Todd's a really good DJ.

Kelly! Let's go. Jump in we're late.

He says he's got backstage passes for Planners, you should come.

I would, but I'm pretty much under

house arrest with Shing Tsing and Laura.

Too bad

We'll miss you.

I gotta go.

- Come on, we gotta go!

I hope to see you before ...

... before you leave.

Pretty smooth Jake.

Hey asswipe! Cool shirt!

Nice horn.

Thanks

Nice b*obs

Thanks

I have a training bra but I don't like to wear it, it itches.

Tell me about it.

Who are you waiting for?

My brother Jake. He's 17.

And he'll like your b*obs too.

- They all do.

Come on, let's go.

What happened to you?

I don't want to talk about it, ok. Let's go.

Hi Jake.

Try to not stare at her b*obs.

Shut up.

I like your shirt.

Why? You wanna throw something at me too?

No, actually I like The Pixies.

Danni, Danni, Danni, where the hell is Crystal?

She's over there with Andrew.

She went to buy sunscreen.

Sunscreen?

Andrew, Crystal, we don't need sunscreen.

We need body paint, condoms. We need Ready Whip

Tell her to come tomorrow I want bleach blonde

booty at the marina. I gotta get my first shot off by noon.

Make sure those titties are nice and perky!

Who's this?

This is Jake. He's a local.

Sandrat huh? You know your way around the lake?

-Yes.

You wanna job? I'll pay you cash.

No bullshit Jake.

My guide didn't show and I need somebody asap.

I need someone with ambition, someone who is willing to take chances ...

... If, you, know, what, I, mean.

Sir, you talk funny.

Yeah, well, you're short! Hold on,

- This is Derick

Don't you disappoint me motherf***er. I told you!

I want the biggest Goddam boat this podunk town has to offer

Who is that?

Derick? He's the director.

So you're like a, er.. actress or what?

I am a 'Wild Wild Girl'.

What's a 'Wild Wild Girl', Jake?

Of course we know boats! F*** the waiver! You signed the waiver!

So, Jake baby, are we gonna do this?

Do what?

- The job! Location scout! Get us around, show us the spots...

the G-spots.

I need a local.

I need you.

We're talking about life lesson here Jake.

Great, 10am, tomorrow. Don't be late.

And... wear a different shirt

I we'll see you tomorrow Jake.

Actually, tomorrow he's...

-Jake

Why'd you bother to knock, if you're just gonna walk straight in?

Am I disturbing you?

No, I'm just doing homework, and stuff for school.

Laura has been telling me that you may

have some other plans for tomorrow

I don't know what she's talking about. I'm 100% baby-sitting.

What? No, we don't want babysitter.

Yeah mum. Especially not Jake.

I'm serious, mum, we dont need one.

Out, out, out.

Jake, you know I don't have a backup.

I know mum. Don't worry, you know how crazy this week is for you.

And dont worry, I'll take care of the nitwits, ok?

Remember, if you do not fulfill their responsibilities, I have power to arrest

and imprison you.

Mum, I'm not 12. playing on the sheriff card doesn't work.

No?

- No!

As I said, I'll take care of them, ok?

OK.

Now get outta here

-I promise next year I'll try to find another solution.

OK?

- Ok.

Oh and Jake.

-Come on Mum! Really?

It's time for dinner.

OK, alright, I'll be right there.

Hope I didn't wake the kids?

They'll sleep through anything.

So, Maggy said yesterday was the last time she saw him?

Yeah, just before midnight.

She said Matt took a boat to catch some bass.

She drove around the lake all night looking for him.

Where's the boat?.

- Over there.

Feeling like a skinny dip?

Yeah, if we can make it to the end of the pier

You mean I'm to old, or too heavy?

I think you're too chicken-sh*t!

By the way, Gordon called last night.

Yeah?

He said that U.S.G.S. recorded heavy seismic activity below the lake.

Really?

Yeah, they're sending in a team of seismologist divers

And he told them that you're gonna escort them out!

Jesus Christ.

We've just been invaded by 20,000 kids

makes us a little busy at the moment.

I know. That's what I told him

[creaking]

This doesnt sound too good

So, what time are the divers gonna get here?

He said around 10.

Sh*t.

Come on, just a little more.

I can't get it

- Jules!

Give me your hand!

Do you think a propeller could've done this?

I doubt it. Look at the bones. Nothing broken

It looks like toxic, are acidic decomposition

it's as it this body has been in the water for weeks

What would you say if I told that I'm

thinking about closing the lake?

...at least until we get an autopsy report

- An autopsy report is gonna take a couple of days

It'd be easier to drain this lake, than close it.

I's a big financial week for this town.

I'm gettin too old for this

We're not liying to mum.

- Yeah, we won't lie to mum.

Come on guys, every year it's the same.

I'm stuck here with you

and miss all the spring break fun.

You mean spring break boobies!

What if I give you guys the cash for the baby-sitting?

Sixty bucks and you gotta deal.

Sixty? But I'm only getting paid forty.

Twenty dollar deception surcharge!

Don't pick up the phone, don't answer the door

and don't leave the house.

OK? I'm counting on you guys.

Alright?

Town rules son. You throw a peice of trash in the lake,

you gotta pick up 10 peices

After the dive, our presence is requested at 'Cocomos'

The Arizona State cheerleading team.

Hi, I'm Sheriff Forester.

Bob Gordon asked me to take you out to the site.

It's nice to have a welcoming committee around here

I assume that's technical equipment too?

Yeah, Sam, give them back.

According to the epicenter coordinates

we need to go here.

Ok, that's about 20 minutes out

Ready when you are.

-Alright

You dont see many women working Law Enforcement

out here in cowboy country.

You dont see a lot of cowboys though

Kelly.

Jake.

Who exactly are you baby-sitting here?

This is a funny story actually.

Wow. Look at those idiots.

Yeah, it's terrible.

Sandrat! Hey Sandrat, I'm talking to you.

Where the hell have you been? We've got the girls lubed up

We're ready to roll. I'm docking your paycheck!

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