Pirates Page #3

Matter of fact, Padre, I'd be glad to

'ave the benefit of your theological...

advice, just in case of accidents.

You never know.

Resign yourself, my son. In a few

moments you will be meeting your Maker.

Well, meantimes...

I should tell you that I had

a mind to eat the Frog...

and I'm a-feared bad luck

may come of it.

God created animals to be eatenby man,

so why not a frog?

- Come, my son, what else besides?

- Beggin' your pardon, Reverend...

but that's the Frog, standing alongside.

'Twas 'im I had a notion to eat.

Now that is a serious matter.

Proceed!

Heave!

Fire!

Down with the officers!

For the love of Jesus,

have pity on him...

No... Have pity.

Frog...

down to the armory, son!

Hurry!

Take some of the lads with you!

Hold them back, hold the door.

Put your weight behind it.

Take them on deck.

At your age... have you no shame?

- Hands off the prisoners!

- Easy now, hombre. If there's enough...

- for one, there's enough for two.

- Here's your shawl.

I beg you to pardon the hole, mam'selle.

Shipmates! Divine Providence

has seen fit to deliver...

this here vessel from the tyranny of

your de-generate Hidalgo masters.

I do hereby take possession of her in

the name of brethren of the coast...

and shall henceforth command her.

I am Captain Thomas

Bartholomew Red!

Mercy, have pity...

Long live Captain Red!

Long live Captain Red!

Long live Captain Red!

What are you babbling about,

you bakehead?

- 'Ap'n... 'Ap'n...!

- What captain? Where's that water?

A ghost! A ghost! There, 'Ap'n!

What's the fuss? Aye, 'tis Captain Red

himself, flesh and blood...

so don't stand there gaping. Sooner go

getch us a good bottle of Hollands...

you can see the Captain's

got a thirst on him.

Well, you old shark...

got me 632 doubloons marked down in

that vampire's account-book o' yourn?

Strange you should ask, Captain. I was

just casting an eye over your account...

and indeed, you're right...

aye, 'tis exactly the figure.

Though the whole 632 might be

difficult to raise at the moment...

prices have gone up since you've been

away... but with a sacrifice...

I may manage, say, a hundred down

and the balance over... let me se...

three months? Would that be acceptable?

Blood-sucker!

You're tremblin'.

Is it fever or fear?

Neither one. I'm all a-tremble with

pleasure at seeing you restored to life.

And your best affidavit to thatwould

be my 632 doubloons.

See the course I lay?

But! Great Heavens! What's this,

Captain? You're short of a leg!

Oh, an active man like yourself...

what a tragedy!

Belay that. Me doubloons!

Hendrick, bring me over my casket, that

I may count out 622 doubloons for...

- Now we can talk business.

- What business?

You don't...

You don't reckon. I'd come back

empty-handed, do you?

- I've got me a galleon! -Gold!

- Ah, no gold, not at all. 'Ostages!

- Not again! I've had a skilful of 'em...

they're swarming like

maggots all over the island.

I swear I'll never touch another

hostage. You keep 'em!

There... six hundred...

and thirty-two.

Go fetch the Frog.

- Is that one back as well?

- Tell 'im to bring the hostages.

- No, no... no thank you, not here!

- Move, or you'll lose your ears!

Harkee to this, Dutch...

What?

I've got... the niece of the

Governor of Maracaibo, and the...

- First Lieutenant of the "Neptune"!

- First of third, who cares?

For over 2 years now I've been trying to

ransom the best-known lawyer in Spain.

Nobody wants him, his wife, his children,

the bar at Seville, not even for free!

- Those halfwits did cut his tongue out.

- Of course... a lawyer without a tongue!

No, Red, no. I mean it. What with the

traveling expenses, the go-betweens...

the overheads... a hostage isn't

even worth his keep these days.

Neptune, Neptune... Let me see now,

she was bound for Spain, was she not?

- Aye...

- And you say there was no gold on board?

Come in, come in, me beauties,

that I may present you to Dutch.

- No, no! I don't want to see them!

- Look, here she is... niece to the...

Governor of Maracaibo. He'll cough

up 3,000 at least. What's your name?

Three thousand! Insolent scoundrel!

If you knew your business you'd know...

- I'm worth ten times as much!

- Take them away! Get them out of here!

Drown them if you've a mind too.

I want nothing to do with 'em.

You son of a double-dyed whore from

the reeking gutters o' Rotterdam!

A plague on your scurvy head...

what's wrong with me 'ostages?

They're hostages...

that's enough!

What's this here, then...

horse-apples?

Right!

- So how much for him... a hundred?

- Not even. Last July Carlos the...

Portuguese negotiated an arch-bishop for

only 325. So a padre... you can imagine!

You might dump him in Shark's Cove...

he's not worth the price of his sandals.

We'll speak of it later. Our of your

juice, vulture! You're givin' a party!

Aye, m'hearties, 'tis I.

I've lost a drumstick, true,

but the rest's all Cap'n Red!

I'm half-seas over with joy at seein'

your friendly physiognomies again.

Diddler...

still alive and kickin'?

You old skulk, you!

Where's Meat-Hook!

Ah, there you be...

sour-faced as ever.

Bibleback! Not grown

much straighter, have you?

So Moonhead... took me for Satan

himself out there, did you?

Soiled your linen, did you?

Strike me blind, you've as muchto

say as a shoal o' mackerel!

Look at me! Four years and more

on a poxy desert island...

yet I can still crack a smile.

What ails you all?

Had your tongues pruned like

that dago lawyer?

That's better, me hearties.

Let's make the rafters ring!

We'll drain the Dutchman's cellar...

drinks are on the house.

Life's a bed o' roses!

Dang me buttons! That were

worse'n a Spanish broadside!

We thought you was killed

at Boca del Toro.

Saint's blood, that's what I thought myself!

So did the Spaniards likewise...

else we'd not be here now.

Shan't forget Boca del Toro for quite

a while. Never did more killing...

- in all my life... Did I, Frog?

- Never Cap'n.

Why, you should've seen old Froggie

here, screamin' "Vive la France!"

And layin' about him like a demon.

That was your day, son, was it not?

Well, 'tweren't mine. Damnation...

cannon ball tore one leg to shreds.

Hey, Scratch! That rum...

do we get it today or tomorrow?

Directly, Captain, directly. Moonhead,

surprise, fetch up another keg.

- I wan' hear 'Ap'n Red!

- Do as you're told, wretch!

All that remained

of the Black Princess -

a few spars and suchlike... broke up on

the reefs of that accursed island.

Four and a half years' scrimplin'

on turtle-meat and coconuts...

Aye, purgatory it was...

not like the good ship "Neptune"...

where these generous Spanish

officers received us like princes.

Come, come! Join our little party!

Now's your chance... you've earned it.

Shift yer arses!

Make room for the gen'le folk!

Free our guests' flippers,

that they may drink me health!

'Avin' been so 'andsomely received

at your table, sir...

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