Pitbullterje
- Year:
- 2005
- 90 min
- 40 Views
Are you ready, guys?
We are going to blow dry Jim's face
with the biggest flaming fart
of all times. Are you ready, Jim?
Get the lighter out. Come on.
Sh*t, did you see that?
That was crazy, that was a whopper.
Oh man, damn.
Are you alright, Jim?
Sure, I'm fine.
Did you start smoking yet?
Great, you can keep watch, then.
You need to close off right away.
And have at least one layer of clothes.
Or the flame can backfire.
A guy in the States fried up
his entire guts and croaked.
Right.
You can actually explode, right?
Yeah, that's a fact.
It could happen to anyone.
Weren't you supposed to keep watch?
Are those yours?
Okay, whose are they?
They're my mom's. She's trying to
quit, so I'm holding on to them for her.
I have to call your mom about this.
You can't, phone's not working.
You can write a note.
You owe me a pack of smokes.
Cigarettes too?
Yeah, here's the note from my mom.
Sure, that's fine.
The eagle has landed.
Three, four, five...
Did you lock the door?
Yes.
Did you remember the chain too?
Of course.
Did the package arrive?
No, not yet.
We're having Beef Stroganoff, over.
Perfect, I'll reserve the best
table in the restaurant. Over.
Fantastic.
It's all about having
a positive attitude.
You could become
the first mom on the moon.
That's not very likely. Women with
anxiety don't become astronauts.
Well, they did send a dog
in to outer space, so maybe?
I have been feeling pretty good
today. That's great.
A small step for man;
a giant leap for mankind.
TV shop presents Dog Style. Now
your dog can be a happy dog too.
Dog Style is a professional
equipment kit for your dog.
I would feel much safer if we had a
dog.
But you don't even dare go outside.
I thought we were supposed to have
a positive attitude?
I'm going out to the garage
for a little while. I won't go far.
Jim!
Yo Kari, what's up?
They've taken Roger and Kurt.
Jim please, do something.
Help me Jim, please?
Are you going to help me or what?
Sorry Kurt, you asked for this.
Jim, what are you doing?
Jim. The smokes.
Sit down, chill. Teacher in the house.
Well, this is our class room.
Terje?
As we've talked about, Terje is joining
us today. Are you coming, Terje?
Where would you like to sit, Terje?
Next to Jim.
I'll go get a chair.
What's your name other than Terje?
Fat Terje?
Terje the dick?
Homo Terje.
Or do you just use fatso?
You can call me PitbullTerje.
You know why?
Because I have a pit bull, get it?
Okay, let's all sit in a circle
so we can get to know Terje better.
Come on. Find your seats,
find your seats, excellent.
Ok, Terje. You can start by
telling us a little bit about yourself.
You can at least tell us
where you've lived?
Hell, no.
You can't swear in here.
Quiet.
Terje, you can't talk like that.
I talk exactly the way I want to.
Do you have a hobby
you could tell us about?
I have a pit bull terrier.
A pit bull terrier?
When it bites,
it doesn't let go until you're dead.
It could kill you, you, and you.
Terje!
And you.
You can't let him do this.
Shut up.
Let's all go to the gym and continue
working on our Christmas play, ok?
Yes, come on, everybody.
Terje, you can be the guard in the inn.
You're sort of sturdy and tough, huh?
Very nice.
This is starting to look like Bethlehem.
Check it out, angel dance.
Wonderful.
Real Jedi Josef there Jim.
And you, good and pregnant.
Let's hear the rap, now.
It came to pass that in those days.
Counting the people was all the craze.
So Caesar Augustus sent out the call,
to count and tax his subjects all.
If you so much as talk to that fat
sumowrestler you'll get your ass kicked!
What would I be talking to
that psycho about anyway?
Good.
The eagle has landed.
Did you lock the door?
Yes, and the chain as well. Over.
Hi.
No package today either?
No, it'll probably be here tomorrow.
Look... I've made a list of things
we have to remember for Christmas.
A Christmas tree.
That's been ordered.
And your Christmas present.
That's ordered too.
Washing windows and other little
odds and ends... Then we're set.
Is there something wrong?
No.
Why are you looking out the window?
I'm not looking.
What was that?
I can't hear anything.
Is there someone here?
Relax, it's nothing.
Yes, listen, there's somebody here.
No, have a look, then.
See, there was nothing.
Maybe we should just
cancel Christmas.
Where are we going today, mom?
To a party. A heck of a party.
You can let me out here.
Okay.
It's Jim's mom. The party can start!
Don't wait up.
This is going to be a real blow out.
Can a girl get a drink around here?
Roger, you'll get 100 crowns
if you hit the window.
Maybe we can scare Jim's mom
out of there once and for all.
Hey, there's Jim.
Hey.
Are you playing with Playmo?
Can we play?
No.
Where's the TV?
You really should have had some.
Then you could have played
truth or dare.
Or spin the bottle
or something like that.
Oh God.
Get the lighter out.
Did you know that Kurt is allergic
to milk? If he drinks milk every day,
his stomach gets all messed up
and he can make huge farts.
Oh, sh*t!
We should have had
some girls here now.
Did you know that smoking stunts your
growth? You could end up a midget.
That was scary.
Eh, not very.
Want to play truth or dare or what?
Sorry Jim, there's one guy too many.
No French kissing.
Hey, hold on.
Little Jim needs his Playmo, you know.
Close the door.
Now you're all set.
Close the door, Kurt.
Roger, you'll finally
get to make out with Kari.
Yes, this one is also from Lego Land.
Here it's Christmas,
and this is the first time Jim...
Hi.
I am just showing
your buddy here some photos.
Did you lock the door?
I worry about burglars. I thought
about getting a dog or something.
You should get a pit bull.
Aren't they dangerous?
Exactly. You can borrow mine.
I don't think that's a good idea.
I said he could go down to the garage,
but he preferred to wait here. I'm fine.
Can we be alone here?
Yes, sure.
Mom...
I think it would be better if you...
From now on, you and I are
best friends or I'll kill you. Get it?
Would you like some cool aid
and ginger bread cookies?
I kill you motherf***er!
You are dead man.
Cool being in your garage last night.
We'll stop by again today.
To plan the party.
You need to by beer for us.
He can buy beer?
Jim can buy anything with
that little note he gets from his mom.
"I'm really thirsty."
See you tonight, Jim.
Hi.
What are you doing here?
I'm not allowed to have company.
Do you want to play or what?
Playmo should be mandatory.
Oh Jim.
So, it's fat Terje and dorky Jim?
It's the gay pride parade, you know.
Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.
Kill!
No, no, no, don't do that.
Ouch.
What are you doing, man?
Roger?
You want to dance for me b*tch?
Dance b*tch!
I'm so glad you came.
Jim, are you there?
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Pitbullterje" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/pitbullterje_15932>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In