Planes Page #4

Maintain 1,000 feet.

Intercept the 22 right localizer.

You are cleared for

the ILS 22, right approach.

- Roger.

- Heavy is sectored in behind you.

Run that by me one more time.

Turn further left,

heading 1-9-5. Maintain 1,000...

DUSTY:
Never mind. I got it.

Do you see him?

Well, radar does, but I don't see diddly.

Check out this pavement!

Nice! It's so smooth.

Crophopper 7, you passed Foxtrot.

Turn left onto Charlie.

Hold short at 22.

Wait, I thought...

- Get off the runway!

- Whoa!

- (HORNS HONKING)

- (GASPS)

- Oh. Sorry.

- Go back to Jersey, you bum.

Excuse me, where can I...

Hey-ho, do you mind? I'm working here.

Sorry.

A nice enough guy, but way too much

baggage, if you know what I mean.

Oh, hey, there. I'm looking for pit row.

The pits? Oh, yeah, that's easy.

You want to go down this way

toward the fire station.

Then taxiway alpha forks off to the left.

But don't go that way.

You want to veer right.

And if you get to the orange barrels,

you went too far. So...

Just go straight ahead and to the right.

Great, thanks. Hey, nice paint job.

Well, thank you! I'm kind of proud of it.

- I think he was talking to me.

- Oh.

Well, looky who's here.

The Scandinavian.

- Hey. Uh...

- Miss your home town?

I don't. Just about blocked

that memory out of my mind.

But you're bringing it

right back with that...

(SNIFFS) Oh, man, that nasty

Vita-mina-stink-a-bunch.

Your tent's the last one on the left. Go!

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

Power wash is on the right. Just saying.

Wow! Bulldog?

From the European Cup? The Big Dog!

Hey, I saw you do this unbelievable

high-G vertical turn.

How did you do that?

Well, let me tell you.

In fact, why don't I tell you

all my racing secrets?

- Really?

- No.

Look, I don't know how things work

in the backwater

from which you hail, matey,

but this is a competition.

Every plane for himself! Goodbye.

Yeah, sure.

- Whoa... Whoa!

- Oh.

(CHUCKLES) Uh... Oh.

Wait a second. This is AeroShell 100.

I thought I ordered the DT-2380.

Well, I am sorry you had to see that.

- Are you all right?

- Sure. Why wouldn't I be?

And you are Pan-Asian Champion

and Mumbai Cup record holder, Ishani.

Most people call me just "Ishani."

I'm Dusty. I mean, uh,

my name is Dusty.

(CHUCKLES) I'm not actually dusty,

I'm quite clean.

It's very nice to meet you,

"quite clean" Dusty. (LAUGHS)

Nice to meet you, too.

Look at that propeller.

Ooh.

A little over there.

Not so much pressure, okay?

Oh, excuse me, guys. Pardon me.

Yeah.

Hey, look who made it!

- It's the crop duster.

- Hey.

You know, having you here

is a nice vehicle-interest story.

Small-town farmer

makes it to the big time.

Yes, sir.

- But tragically crashes on takeoff.

- What?

Wings Around The Globe winner,

Ripslinger,

eulogizes the unknown hayseed

and scatters his debris over a cornfield.

Ratings will be through the roof!

- Okay.

- Good luck.

- Farm boy.

- What?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

The hero of the people has arrived.

(LAUGHS)

You have never heard

of the great El Chupacabra?

(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, isn't that that monster

that siphons fuel from small vehicles?

No, no, no, it's just a stage name

designed to strike fear into the hearts

of my opponents. (GROWLS)

Yeah, he's the indoor racing

champion of all Mexico.

Indoor racing?

(WHOOPING)

And numero uno recording artist,

telenovela star and romance novelist.

Did you say El Chupacabra

or El Cuckoo-cabra?

You make joke? You make joke?

Very well. You leave me no choice!

I swish my cape at you!

You have been shamed.

I hope I can get over it.

- Oh. I just did!

- (ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, I saw you race

on Telemoto last year.

Of course, it was in Spanish,

so I didn't understand everything.

I am flattered, avin pequeo.

You have done many of these

long distance rallies, yes?

- No, this is my first one.

- It is my first time, as well!

We will have many adventures,

you and I.

We will laugh, we will cry,

we will dance!

Um... Wow.

- Probably not with each other.

- Of course.

I will see you in the skies, amigo.

- (WHOOPING)

- (LAUGHS)

BRENT:
Race fans,

it's that time of year again.

Welcome to the

Wings Around The Globe.

Hello, I'm Brent Mustangburger,

and this is the flagship event

of the world's fastest sport

where only the best

of the best compete.

Each leg brings a new challenge,

testing agility, navigation

and endurance.

But when it's all said and done,

speed is the name of the game.

Our very own Colin Cowling

is standing by live from JFK airport

with the best seat in the house.

How's the view, big guy?

Brent, the scene below me

is absolutely electric.

As you know, we have racers

from all over the world, here.

But the real story should be

who's coming in second

to three-time defending champ,

Ripslinger,

who is seeking to become

the first four-time winner

in the Wings Around The Globe.

The racers

are making their way to the runway.

- DOTTIE:
It's Dusty!

- Whoo!

All right, everybody,

get your Dusty bobbleheads.

Your oven mitts, hats, bumper stickers,

and I also ordered

- a thousand commemorative whistles.

- (WHISTLES)

Hey, you think you can help me

set up a website?

Does a giga bite?

Well, not if you pet him nicely.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Dusty.

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

BRENT:
One-hundred and thirty-six

nations compete.

Twenty-one planes selected.

Folks, a step onto this field,

is a step into history.

(CHEERING)

Holy smokes!

And for the first time ever, folks,

we have a crop duster in the race.

A crop duster?

Well, he's gonna die.

CROWD:
(CHANTING)

Ripslinger! Ripslinger!

Wow!

Ripslinger! Ripslinger! Ripslinger!

Yeah. You're caught in the riptide!

(LAUGHS)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Whoa. Look at this crowd.

Stay focused, amigo.

Don't let anything distract you.

Ay-yay!

Who is that vision?

That's Rochelle,

the Canadian rally champ.

She is like an angel, sent from heaven.

Like a sunrise

after a lifetime of darkness.

Like fresh fertilizer

on a field of dying grass.

This is not your thing, my friend.

All right, racers.

Start your engines!

(ENGINES REVVING)

BRENT:
Seven legs,

over 31,000 kilometers,

the world's highest mountains,

and the deepest oceans

all stand before them

just waiting to be conquered

by the right competitor.

(CHEERING)

Here we go. Oh, boy!

BRENT:
All the preparation.

It all comes down to this moment.

One of these planes is about to fly off

into the pages of sports history

- and become a champion.

- (EXHALES)

Go!

BRENT:
And we are under way!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Whoa! Swirlies!

Whoa! Whoa.

(SIGHS)

BRENT:
Our first stage is a whopper.

A dead sprint across the North Atlantic.

COLIN:
That's right, Brent.

This is how it works, folks.

The winner of the leg today

is the first to take off tomorrow.

(SHIVERING)

(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

- (WIND HOWLING)

- (SHIVERING)

(LAUGHS) Hey, look who's finally here!

It's that low-flying farmer boy!

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