Planes Page #5

You do know this is a race, right?

(LAUGHING)

- That's a good one, boss.

- (SHIVERS)

Excuse me, how much does

a snow plow weigh?

Je ne sais pas. I do not know.

Enough to break the ice.

I am El Chupacabra.

- Ah. You are the snow plow, oui?

- You could say that, yes.

- And I am the ice?

- Yes.

Cold, frozen and lifeless?

No, I... It sounds better in Spanish.

(LAUGHS) Why don't you go

plow yourself, El Chu-toy?

She is like an angel.

CHUG:
(ON RADIO) This is Propwash

Junction to Dusty Crophopper.

I read you, Chug.

So what's it like

racing with the big dogs, Duster?

- Well, my wings froze solid.

- Man!

- I had icicles hanging off my sprayer.

- All right!

And I nearly smashed

into a 10-story iceberg.

Awesome!

Yeah, "awesome" is not quite

the word that I would use

to describe a gruesome

near-death experience.

You hang in there, buddy.

There's nothing better than dying

while doing what you love most.

DOTTIE:
(SIGHS) That's gonna make

him feel a lot better.

Dusty, just like when

the Jolly Wrenches

were up in the Aleutians

the air down close to the sea

has more moisture,

which is why you took on ice.

- You gotta try to fly higher.

- Great.

SKIPPER:
The good news is

tomorrow's leg goes through

the Bavarian obstacle course.

It's all about agility,

so it's your chance to move up.

And remember, it's not speed

that wins races, it's skill.

(EXCLAIMING IN DISTRESS)

BULLDOG:
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

I'm blinded. I can't see.

We're receiving breaking news

of an incident in the skies over

Germany involving one of the racers.

Let's check in with Skycam 1

for more information.

Bulldog, the legendary flyer from

the UK, is in tremendous danger.

It looks like he's flying blind,

losing speed, losing altitude...

Wait! It's Racer Number 7, Crophopper,

- pulling up beside him.

- What's he doing?

- Bulldog, apply your left aileron.

- Okay.

Stop roll.

- Now, quick, pull up.

- Got it.

Harder, harder!

Slight roll right. Good!

Whoa! Big castle!

Pull up! Hard roll right!

Stop roll.

BULLDOG:
Are you still there?

DUSTY:
I'm right here.

I'll fly right alongside you.

PA ANNOUNCER:
Achtung! We have

a mayday! Clear the runway!

Achtung! Clear the runway!

- Add power.

- Okay.

- Easy, now.

- Yes.

Good. Flaps down, lock them.

Careful.

Landing gear down.

Yeah, and locked.

Begin your flare.

Power back a little.

(GASPING)

Touchdown! Nicely done!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(PANTING)

Thanks for your help, matey.

I couldn't have done it without...

You? You saved me?

What did I tell you, boy?

Every plane for himself, right?

Where I come from, if you see someone

falling from the sky...

Yes, but this is a competition.

Now, you're dead last.

And I owe you my life.

(BULLDOG SOBBING)

Are you crying?

I don't cry, I'm British!

Thanks, matey.

Sure thing, Bulldog.

REPORTERS:
Bulldog!

(REPORTERS CLAMORING)

RIPSLINGER:
Well, I gotta say,

crop duster, you are a nice guy.

Hey. Thanks, Rip.

And we all know where nice guys finish.

- (BOTH LAUGHING)

- Yeah!

(PLAYING POLKA MUSIC)

(INAUDIBLE)

(SIGHS)

Dead last.

You sad, you drink.

- Thanks. Great advice.

- (EL CHUPACABRA SNIFFLES)

At least you are not last

in the race for love.

Rochelle?

Her passion is, sadly, not for me.

(SOBS)

- Tough break, El Chu.

- (HORN HONKING)

Excuse me.

My name is Franz, and I am a huge fan.

- I have fans?

- Oh, no, no, no. Just me.

And I would like to say danke

for representing all us little planes.

Uh... You're a car.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I am

what you call a Flugzeugauto,

one of only six flying cars ever built!

- Whoa!

- Guten Tag, Herr Dusty.

I am Von Fliegenhozen.

Didn't you just say

your name was Franz?

Nein, nein, nein.

Franz is a guy with no spine

who is in charge

when we putter about the cobblestones.

In the air, I am in charge.

This guy needs to

get his head gasket checked.

Serious identity issues.

This from the one wearing a mask?

Touch.

We are both pulling for you, Herr Dusty.

Thanks for the support.

I need all the help I can get.

I have a humble suggestion.

Would you not be much faster

without the pipes and tank

and whatnot weighing you down?

My sprayer. Again?

Yeah.

Why carry around the extra weight?

The little crazy car is right.

Perhaps you need to start

thinking like a racer.

DUSTY:
This is reversible, right?

Oh! Oh. Hey, you're being

careful down there, right?

Whoa. Ooh! Yep, that's cold.

(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)

So?

(CLEARS THROAT)

(IN NORMAL VOICE)

So, what do you think?

Wunderbar, Dusty.

Fantastico. (LAUGHS)

It is freeing, yes?

Yeah, you took the words

right out of my mouth.

(DUSTY EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT)

Bye-bye, sprayer!

Thanks for everything, Franz...

Er, Von Fliegenhozen.

Guten luck, Herr Dusty.

BRENT:
it's our third leg

and we've already lost several

competitors to equipment failure.

COLIN:
But the real story here, Brent,

is Dusty Crophopper.

Absolutely.

He's passing one flier after another.

BRENT:
That's right. This guy

was built to dust crops,

but he's dusting the competition.

What's next, Colin?

COLIN:
Brent, this could be

Crophopper's leg, all the way.

The racers will have to fly

under a hard ceiling of 1,000 feet.

Stay under the clouds and in the hills.

Number 20 is disqualified.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

BRENT:
What a move.

COLIN:
incredible.

- Look at that radial-G pass.

- Oh, yeah!

COLIN:
From last place,

all the way up to eighth.

FEMALE REPORTER:
Mr. Ripslinger,

you were built for racing.

RIPSLINGER:
Yeah! You know it.

So how can a crop duster out-fly you?

- Wait, what?

- There he is!

Dusty!

- Wow!

- How do you keep up with the pros?

FEMALE REPORTER:
Did working

on the farm make you stronger?

MALE REPORTER:

Dusty! Why do you fly so low?

Why are they wasting their time

with him?

He's a tractor with wings.

Actually, it's a really

compelling underdog story.

It's like Rocky.

It's more like David and Goliath.

- Or Old Yeller.

- That's not an underdog story.

- Well, there's a dog in it.

- Enough!

Yeah, enough!

You know, they shot Old Yeller

at the end, you twits.

Oh! Spoiler alert!

Soon, we'll be overrun by every banner

tower, skywriter and air freighter

who thinks they can be one of us.

That farm boy forgot who he is

and where he came from.

He's not about to stop me

from making history.

Dusty, Dusty,

where did you learn to race?

From my coach, Skipper.

He's the reason I'm even here.

He's an amazing instructor.

And a great friend.

He flew dozens of missions

all around the world.

And I'm sure, if he could,

he'd be with us right now.

SPARKY:
Whoa, your engine

sounds kind of rough.

Must be a mag misfire.

It's probably not a good night

for flying anyway.

- Okay. Come back soon.

- Hey, you got anything new?

I'm glad you asked.

I'm now selling these one-of-a-kind

Dusty commemorative mugs.

Huh?

BOTH:
Whoa!

(OVER RADIO)

This is Dusty Crophopper calling...

- I'll be back in 10.

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