Planet 51 Page #3

entering the alien spaceship.

It doesn't look big enough

to be a space destroyer.

Ooh,

it's dark in here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, look!

No sign

of the pilot, sir.

Oops.

(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC

POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Are you getting...

(MACARENA PLAYING)

I've never seen

such a heinous weapon.

We are up against

a cruel, sadistic enemy.

Seal off the town. I want

that alien pilot found.

(GUITAR PLAYING)

I protest!

# They're bumming me out

with their bad vibrations

# Well, there's one thing you

gotta do Never mind, Captain.

The alien is right here. #

And that's stick it to the man

Grab him!

Yes, sir!

# Stick it to... #

Ow!

Glar's not the alien!

Oh, no? Then what

do you call this?

Hair.

He likes it long.

Very unusual.

You might even say,

very alien!

Excuse me! General! He

does go to the high school.

Glar's just trying to say

the aliens might be friendly.

(CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY)

Oh, Lem! Lem, you know astronomy.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) If

an alien came all this way,

wouldn't it be smart

enough to come in peace?

Uh...

No! No! No!

No! No!

Uh...

(STAMMERING) I mean, they've

come to harvest our organs,

make us slaves.

Me?

We should all, all of us,

right now, go home and hide.

Huh?

That's a sensible

young man. Let him go.

And the rest of you, go to your

homes and wait for instructions.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)

Hi.

Go back to your homes. Show's over.

(PANTING HAPPILY)

(WHISPERING) Okay,

come on, come on.

Hurry up.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Great! Just great!

Look, I said I'd take you

to your flying saucer, okay?

Well, there it is.

Now, leave.

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING ORDERS)

(SIGHING) I'll get you a blanket

and a pillow for the night.

(SIGHS)

It's a miracle

I'm gonna need.

(WHISTLING)

Mmm?

(SCREAMS)

Oh, you... You like the

stone? You like the stone?

Go! Go! Go get it!

There it is! Stop!

(HORN HONKING)

(ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYING)

Don't move! # I'm gonna

tell Aunt Mary about Uncle John

# He said he has the music

but he got a lot of fun

# Oh, baby

# Yeah, baby

# Whoo, baby

# I'm having me

some fun tonight

# Well, long, tall Sally

She's built for speed

# She got everything

that Uncle John need

# Oh, baby

# Yeah, baby

# Whoo, baby

# I'm having me

some fun tonight #

(ANNOUNCER READING ON TV)

Aliens are quite like us, except

they have two sets of teeth,

hypodermic fingertips and

hypnotic eyes to control our brains

and turn us into an army of

zombies and destroy our worid.

What?

Remember, anyone

caught helping the aliens

will go to jail.

Jail?

(CHUCKLING)

This is great!

Yesterday,

my life was perfect,

and now, I'm the most wanted

super-criminal in the worid.

At least you have a worid.

I'll probably

never see mine again.

(CRACKLING)

Our preliminary procedures

have been completed, sir.

The spacecraft

is quarantined.

We're looking for a place for

your headquarters, sir, and...

Still no trace

of the alien, sir.

Where would you hide

if you were an alien?

Hide?

Bravo, General.

An alien invader

spends over $500

to fly across

the universe

to hide.

You clown! He's here

to take over our minds!

Even yours!

Diabolical!

Captain, place me

under arrest.

Not so fast, General. I've

trained my superior intellect

to recognize

alien mind slaves.

(HUMMING)

You're clean.

But, uh, he's a zombie,

and those two.

How will we know

who is a zombie?

Well, zombies don't

feel any pain.

(BOTH GROAN)

You're clean.

You, too.

General, you must capture the

alien alive and bring it to me.

I will unlock the secrets

of its marvelous brain.

Captain, search the town.

Go door to door if you must,

but find that alien.

Ha, ha! Hello, Plark,

if that really is you.

Have a nice day,

Serbok,

or should I call you

by your alien name?

(EXCLAIMING)

It's you.

It's you!

(SCREAMING) It's you!

How come I have to

go to the dentist

if it's the end

of the worid, Mom?

Invasin or not,

you've got to go.

My mom's a zombie! Help!

Huh?

Huh?

(SCREAMING)

Zombie!

Mmm-hmm. Okay, right, so, this is

the last street we're gonna do today.

(HUMMING)

(SNIFFING)

(BARKING)

(WHINING PLAYFULLY)

Okay,

let's start at this end.

Wait. I think

I'm a zombie.

I'm hearing an irritating, piercing

voice in the back of my head.

Oh, shut up.

It's me.

It's there again!

It's me, you moron.

Hey, what's that?

(WHINING)

(BARKING)

Hey, look.

(LAUGHING) That's funny!

Look at it! Look at the dog!

Mom?

Mom? Mom!

Don't come in!

(EXCLAIMS)

(GROANS SLEEPILY)

Rover? Boy, am I glad

to see you! Rover!

Rover?

He's a probe we sent to

take pictures of your worid.

Hey! A planet

full of aliens,

and you sent back

pictures of rocks?

Bad boy! Bad boy.

Mom, don't come in!

The alien!

Whoa! Can I get

your autograph?

Eckle, this isn't a comic

book, okay? It's serious.

I don't mind. It comes

with being a national hero.

And... And my

Humaniacs pster?

And my...

And my chest?

Mmm. Uh...

(STAMMERING) Hey,

how about a snapshot?

Get one of me looking up at the stars.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Mom!

I saw the alien

last night. I am so in.

I got this guy wrapped

around my little finger.

Let me tell you,

this alien's not so scary.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(EXCLAIMS)

Uh...

Your personal chef

reporting for duty, sir.

May I give you some tasty

suggestions for tonight?

I've got a list of the

fattest teachers in my school

in case you're looking

for a light snack.

Skiff, stop. He's not here to

eat us or anything. He's harmless

to everyone

but me.

Better let me

do the talking.

I think he's eyeing you for dessert.

(GRUNTS)

Aw!

It's kind of cute,

the way he does that.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, great. Let's

just have a party!

We're doing a routine

search for the alien.

(GASPS)

Don't shoot!

Don't shoot.

It's trying to

control our minds.

What do we do?

Don't look

in its eyes.

That's how they

take over your brain.

Brains? That's right, brains!

(MIMICKING HYPNOTIC VOICE)

You are my zombie slaves.

I want to control your

brains. It's inside my head!

(VOCALIZING) Ooh! Its

will is too strong!

Ooh!

(BOTH GROANING)

# Hey, Macarena #

Command us, Master.

Command me, too.

(MUMBLING)

It's not real.

I think I know when I'm

being mind-controlled.

Hey, maybe they

could get me on my ship.

I'm leaning toward

"probably not."

(ROVER WARBLING)

...an extensive search.

But I think I know who can. In

the meantime at the landing site,

just to the left of me here, everything

is checked and double-checked.

The High Command taking

control of the situation...

You want our home

for your headquarters?

Gee, that would be

a great honor.

Honey, tell Lem

we have guests.

Lem, there's someone you'd like to...

Oh!

Check the papers.

Kiss the ship

goodbye, Rover.

You really think

you can get me on TV?

You're the biggest

story in history.

The whole planet

will watch.

The whole planet?

Interesting.

I left my hair products on the

ship, but I could improvise.

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