Planet 51 Page #4

You know, astronauts have to

deal with any kind of emergency.

I get it. He can tell

everyone he's peaceful.

All we need is a safe

place, that TV reporter,

and then we can all

get on with our lives.

Skiff, the comic book

store, let's go there.

Okay, but if he's not housebroken,

you're cleaning up his mess.

We need a slogan,

like something that says,

"It's a bummer to make war on the

aliens when we should make..." Uh...

Hey, Neera! Hi! Hi!

Kill any aliens, Lem? Kill any...

Oh, no, you don't understand.

These soldiers aren't...

Oh, great! This day

gets better and better.

General Grawl, you better

take a look at this.

Professor, take a look.

Hmm.

This is obviously

alien writing.

It says,

"Surrender or die,"

and this is a list

of surrender terms.

Diabolical.

What are you doing

in Lem's room?

I'm afraid your son

is a zombie.

(BOTH GASP)

Hey, kid,

what's bugging you?

Neera.

What is that,

like an alien hernia?

Well, sort of.

It's the girl of my dreams,

and now she hates me.

Whoa! Hate's

a strong word.

Maybe she just

dislikes you.

Plus, there's

another guy, Glar.

Okay. You know

your problem?

It's not Glar or Neera.

It's Lem.

Look at you.

You're so left-brain.

Or is it right brain?

Whatever.

You're like the chief of

control. You've got to loosen up.

We've got a little time.

You, my friend, are in luck.

The doctor is in.

Me and green bean

need to talk.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Before we begin,

I have a technical question.

Are you considered

very ugly on this planet?

What?

Because I can't tell.

No.

I mean, I'm okay.

Oh, good. Good.

(TANGO MUSIC PLAYING)

Why do chicks dig me?

Because I'm handsome?

Because I'm an astronaut?

Yes, and yes.

But it's also because of Chuck

Baker's three steps to romance.

Spot your prey.

Make your move.

Show no mercy.

Hey, baby.

(INHALING SEDUCTIVELY)

I saw you

across the bar.

Are sparks flying

or is this place

on fire?

Uh...

You're sure you're

not ugly, right?

I think so.

Baby, tomorrow I go up in

space, maybe never to return.

Let's make our last night a night

(WHISPERING)

To remember.

(GASPS)

Lem! The cork!

The cork!

Remember the plan!

The only plan here

is to get Chuck on TV.

I'll be right back with the

reporter. I'm leaving you in charge.

In charge?

(WITH AUTHORITY)

You heard him.

Things are going to be

different around here.

My wish is

your command.

Come on, boys, let's

track down this story.

We need an alien

for the 6:
00 news.

Wait! Stop! Hey! Uh...

We're really upset!

(APATHETICALLY) Yeah.

Upset we really are!

Yeah.

Are we upset, really?

Neera! I need

to talk to you.

Oh. I thought you were

after the alien.

That's not

what's going on.

Then what is?

I...

# Lem!

# Mysterious Lem

# Tell us the secrets

of your heart #

Uh...

I can't say.

(GRUNTS DISMISSIVELY)

(SIGHS) Lem, I always

thought we'd be together,

but I need someone who doesn't

always believe what he's been told.

It's like Glar says,

"The times,

"they are a-different."

Maybe you should go.

# Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh #

(GRUNTS)

Hey, baby.

What?

Is this place sparking

or is fire making this

a night to show no mercy?

Did I happen to mention

I'm not ugly?

Whoa!

Are you crazy?

(CHUCKLES)

Whoa!

(EXCLAIMING)

Hey, is this guy

giving you bad vibrations?

(DEJECTEDLY)

Lem was just leaving.

I'm hungry, guys.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Are you kidding me?

If you have to do a number

one, use these papers.

If you have to do a

number two, go outside.

And, if it's

number three,

I can't help you.

Got you, alien!

Victory or extinction!

Oh, yeah? In space,

no one can hear you scream!

(ROARING PLAYFULLY)

You missed!

Crush, kill, destroy.

Bang, bang! Ha, ha!

Hey, Master! We want

to be destroyed, too!

Quick,

cover the camera!

If it gets damaged again,

we'll have to pay for it.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WHINING)

You're afraid of a widdle

storm. It's nothing. You see?

Rover!

(SINGIN' IN THE RAIN

INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING)

Rover!

Sit, Rover! Sit! Stop! Heel!

Roll over! Come back! Listen...

You can't escape the tractor beam.

It's pulling you to your doom!

(SCREAMING)

6:
00 news,

here we go.

(ON TV) ...going on a journey. Huh?

Soon, we will crush the rebel

alliance and control the galaxy.

(CROWD GASPING)

(ALL APPLAUDING) Thank

you. Thank you. Thank you.

You are a rebel spy

and a traitor to the Empire.

Take her away.

Skiff!

(HORNS BLARING)

Hasta la vista, baby.

You are terminated.

General, over there.

Aren't those comic books?

Captain, get your men!

We gotta get

out of here now!

Move it! Move it!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Chuck, come on!

Sorry, pal. Too dangerous. But...

Out!

You there! Stop!

Don't lose him, sir!

Wow!

Don't you ever

run off like that.

What if they took you to the

pound? How would I find you?

Whoa!

Lem?

Oh, boy!

We'd better run!

Let's move!

Move! Move!

Move! Move! Move!

Move it!

Move it! Move it! Go!

(BOTH SIGH)

(BOTH GASP)

Let the doctor

handle this.

(CLEARS THROAT) Ladies, who

wants to meet an astronaut?

(LADIES SHRIEKING)

Ow! Ladies! One at a time! Chuck!

I'm on Facebook!

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

Ready?

(WARBLING)

Look out!

The monster!

It's getting away!

Got you!

Rover? No!

Quick,

hotwire the car!

What?

Hotwire the who?

When are you green goobers

going to evolve?

Attention, all personnel.

What's the matter?

(CRYING)

Why did he do it?

I was gonna teach him

to beg and everything.

Amazing! The alien's

brain is so powerful,

it's controlling them

even now.

What is it

telling you to do?

Um, I think I'm supposed to

dig a hive for the alien queen.

Yeah. I'm supposed

to blow up things.

I mean, unless you

need help with the hive.

Oh, no, I'm good.

You sure?

I'm good.

Never mind them,

Professor.

This thing has

all the answers.

Where's your master? Talk!

The flying saucer is going

to an undisclosed location

to be taken

apart and studied.

This reporter is now going to

reveal to you where that location is.

Uh, this reporter has just

been told that if I do that,

I will be taken apart

and studied.

Oh, look. That's perfect. That's great.

Oh, just great!

Perfect!

John Glenn goes around the

worid, he's a senator for life.

I went across

the fricking universe!

I should be governor,

minimum!

But, no, I'm marooned

here on this stupid rock!

Uh...

This stupid rock

is my home,

or it was until you came

along and ruined everything!

I want my life back,

unless, I don't know,

maybe there's something

else you want to ruin.

Who's that?

(SIGHS) My boss.

Sorry, Mr. Hucklo. It's

just for one little night.

Maybe a week.

I really hope this doesn't

affect our working relationship.

(TAPPING ON DOOR)

Huh?

Oh, great!

Just great! Fired.

Say, why don't you

just harvest my organs

and get it over with?

(DOOR SLAMS)

(TAPPING ON DOOR)

Oh, great. Now look what you

did. You made him really upset.

Lem?

You're looking

right at my home.

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