Plastic Page #2

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Three hours chat for

a kiss good night at her front door.

I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now.

I like her, don't get me wrong.

She'll get done, just not tonight.

Charming. Right.

You going in?

This'll be good viewing.

Sam, good costume.

Thank you. Where's yours?

I didn't have time to change.

I had to come straight from work.

- You got a job.

- I know. Grown up, right?

What do you do?

It's pretty wild, I'm a data processor

for a credit card company.

- Which one?

- X-Cred.

Any chance you can increase

my student limit?

Yeah, you're the third person

to crack that joke tonight.

- Was it funny the first time?

- No.

All right. OK.

Note to self, gotta work on my chat.

Pathetic. It's like watching a little boy.

Come on, let's f*** off.

Want a hit, boys?

Let's do it.

Sausage fest, mate.

You'll just get stoned and

talk sh*t with a bunch of crusties.

Girls out here. Dick soup in here.

So my cousin, he graduated

from Newcastle with a first.

He applied to every law firm in the country

with roughly 6,000 applicants per job.

He now works in a bar.

F***in' same story everywhere.

So how did you land the X-Cred gig?

My dad used to work there.

Anyway, what about you?

I've seen you and your friends around uni,

with your designer clothes and your cash.

One of my friends said she bought a stereo

from one of your housemates

and there was boxes piled high.

You're very suspicious.

What do you guys do?

We're entrepreneurs.

What kind?

Trade secret.

You're a lucky f***er, Yatesey.

Luck's got nothing to do with it, Daniel.

What kind of a twat goes

all in on two pair?

Who wants to come and share this with me?

You're not invited, cunty.

I'm crying on the inside. Honestly.

- Should we go?

- Yeah.

Fiona.

Nice one.

Whoa, better.

Can three people play?

Frankie, we're leaving.

OK, one minute.

- That's me.

- Then I'd better get your number.

I'd like to see you again.

You better give me your phone, then.

This is your email address.

I don't want to make it

too easy for you.

Good night, Sam.

Did you get what's-her-name's

number last night?

She gave me her email address.

That's a bit gay.

Yeah. You know where she works?

No, I wasn't the one

talking to her all night.

X-Cred.

She's a data processor.

F***.

Mate, she could be a gold mine.

Probably, but I'm not interested

in her for that.

I like her.

There's just something about her.

Quality.

I think it's that she's f***ing fit.

- Right.

- Break a leg.

- Mr Barker?

- Yes, mate.

Sign here please, guv,

you've got a package.

Open it up, Mr Ford.

Looks like it's all here.

Come on in. We've been waiting.

As a statement of intent

there's nothing quite like forced nudity,

gaffer tape and hired thugs.

Cuts out the time-wasting questions

that usually go hand in hand

with these situations.

I don't think you've met

my friend Harry.

They have.

Now Harry here is good with numbers.

A f***ing genius.

But like many brilliant men

he has a weakness.

He loves to pay for women.

I keep telling him,

"Spend some money, get a nice girl".

But he never listens.

He likes them cheap.

Fucks them on street corners

or in the back of his car.

Now I'm not here to cast judgment.

His cock, his business.

What does concern me is that last

night he was carrying something

that belonged to me.

Something sensitive.

There are files on here,

business accounts,

that I can't risk falling

into the wrong hands.

I keep telling Harry to be careful.

I shouldn't have to but I still do.

But I know he is weak

so I take precautions.

His phones, his laptop, this tablet here,

all infected with spyware.

I can locate them whenever I choose,

operate cameras via remote,

listen to what is being said...

Tariq, take over.

English, fuckhead!

How many times do I have to say it?

Speak English.

Sorry, boss.

My builder, my cleaner,

now even my f***ing heavies are Polish.

Half the price, twice the nuisance.

That's enough.

Any more and you'll kill him.

So?

So I don't need a dead body,

I need an accountant.

I value profit over corpses.

I had to cut short my daughter's

birthday party to deal with this.

I'm a busy man and I value time

with my family above all else.

So you four are going to have to

make it up to me.

While we've been waiting, I've had a

chance to look over your operation.

Credit cards, blackmail, identity fraud.

Quite impressive.

I'll make you a deal.

This is a list of things I want.

Things you are going to get for me.

You complete this list by,

let's say, 5:
00 p.m.,

and deliver the goods to me.

It's a lot.

There's no way you can...

Think of it as a challenge.

If you succeed, maybe I forgive you.

If you fail, you get a

visit from these two.

Pick him up, let's go.

They were here when we got back.

They came out of nowhere.

Sorry, what the f*** did you guys do?

Nothing you haven't done

a hundred times yourself!

I kind of doubt that.

It's a long list. We're gonna need nearly

all the plastic we've got stockpiled.

So we're doing this, then?

We collect the list, we get him off

our back. There's no other play.

Yeah.

Speak.

We've got the gear. Where do you want it?

All of it in one day. Very enterprising.

How much do you think it's worth?

I've no idea.

Take a guess.

50,000? 60,000?

So,

if I said you owe me

200,000 a week every week

that would be fair?

Gives them time off for the weekends.

Look... You asked us to do something.

We did it. End of story.

For someone that knows

credit card companies that well,

I'm surprised you don't know how

they make their money.

You have a debt. Interest is incurred. You've

paid the interest. The debt still stands.

But this'll happen every time

we make a delivery.

Debt never touched.

Doesn't seem very reasonable.

Everything you've seen of me up until now

is reasonable.

Out there in the darkness,

that's unreasonable.

You pay me my money, every week for

as long as you can. The day you can't...

Now, I am prepared to make it easy for you.

If you can't convert plastic to cash,

I can take merchandise off your hands.

Jewellery, electronics, drugs...

How much?

To pay off the debt and make you walk away?

- You won't like it.

- Probably not.

Two million pays off your debt,

buys my forgiveness.

OK.

One condition, you pay in two weeks.

All of it. No exceptions.

Two million. Two weeks.

And that time frame is inflexible.

I must be clear about that.

Personally, if I was you,

I'd stick with the weekly payment plan.

The balls on this one!

Doesn't give an inch.

Well, good luck. See you in two weeks.

I'm rooting for you!

Keys.

What?

The keys to your van.

How else do we transport goods?

F***'s sake.

Congratulations, you're all walking home.

You should have consulted us.

He did. You lot

didn't have the balls to make a decision.

What,

and like he made a good one?

It was the only option. You know that.

Sooner or later we would

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