Playing It Cool Page #9

And it makes you realize,

there are people in your life

so important

that they dwarf everything else.

And it's up to you

to figure out who they are.

If you had to give up everything else,

and spend the rest of your days

on a boat...

who are the must-haves?

The ones you can't live without.

Figure out your own list

and then do everything you can to let them

know how much they mean to you.

I hope it's not too late for me.

Okay, first things first.

Split-personality RomCom, let's do it.

Just because I wear a badge,

doesn't mean I can't feel.

It's too late, he's Heisman-ed you

into the friend zone.

Oh, it's useless,

she could never love us.

You're just saying that,

because we're crazy.

Oh, he's no different than us.

Everyone has all these

different faces to hide behind.

Love is just as crazy.

It changes everything, okay?

It could be like a red,

red rose, or a machete.

It's like what they say,

love is a many splintered thing.

It's not splintered.

It's "Love is a many splendored thing."

Splintered sounds painful.

It's that, too.

Yeah, it's that, too.

I don't really know

what's happening here.

I just finished a screenplay.

It's very emotional.

All right, time to celebrate.

Scott and I had made up.

- Congratulations, man.

- Thank you.

I got you something.

100 Years of Solitude.

- Oh, God.

- Don't read too deeply into the title.

I'm pretty sure there's only a small chance

that you'll die alone yourself.

Yeah, well, that's the good thing

about being a writer, right?

You get to choose your own ending.

Mallory had finally given

her friend-date a real shot.

- I'm gonna get us drinks.

- Great.

You guys are cute.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

Get out of here, I'm busy.

Okay, we're good.

- Samson and Lyle were...

- Gentlemen.

- Samson and Lyle.

- Congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

And Bryan was elated

to cash his commission.

Congratulations. Great work,

and not a moment too soon

because they pushed the start date up

for the action movie two weeks.

That deserves a drink.

I watched Terminator again.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, and you're right.

I'm sorry, you're right.

It's actually a...

weirdly romantic film.

Cheers. So...

I wanted to personally come down

and give you a first class ticket

to six weeks

of first-class Malaysian p*ssy.

You know, sometimes I can get something

stuck in my head a certain way,

you know, and then...

I can miss all the other ways

it can be.

Ditto.

No, no, no, no.

Don't open it. I'll get more money.

Even with my boat pretty full...

There was still something missing.

Time to write my own ending.

I've got a wedding to stop.

All those 5Ks I ran finally paid off,

seeing as how I have to outrun this clich.

Hey! Don't you have a bunch

of heart sculptures somewhere?

- Oh, yeah, buddy, we have hearts.

- Great. Take me there.

- Which one?

- All of them.

- Are you crazy or something?

- Something.

- Sorry, guys, this cab's taken.

- Yes, we know.

- Gabriel told us what you are doing.

- We want to see all the hearts, too.

She's the only thing I think about.

And I can't get her out of my head.

- Sounds like she doesn't love him.

- That... that's what...

I like you guys.

Excuse me,

did you happen to see a wedding here earlier

with a girl that was like... perfect?

I'll see what you want me

to see for 50 bucks.

Okay, let's go, guys!

Wait, you're gonna bust up

some dude's wedding? Hell, yeah.

Sometimes when you're chasing love it feels

like the whole world is on your side.

We are gathered here today

to celebrate a marriage.

If there's anyone here

who objects to this union

let them speak now

or forever hold their peace.

That's the last one

at the end of the pier.

She's gotta be there.

Even my imagination

took a kick to the balls.

- Gabriel, what's that big arrow?

- That's Cupid's Bow.

- Why didn't we go there?

- You specifically said heart sculptures.

- That, my friend, is not a heart.

- But those shoot hearts.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

- I came to stop you.

- Oh, then you're a little late.

Yes, I can see that.

You know, there's like 100

of these heart statues.

I wrote a whole speech on the plane.

I was gonna make a big scene.

Yeah, well, you need

to work on your timing.

Did you marry him?

No.

I was standing there looking at him,

and it just felt wrong...

for both of us.

- Maybe that's a sign.

- Stop.

All right, this is serious.

You shouldn't even be here.

Look, I know you're upset with me,

but I feel like we met each other

at a very strange point in our lives.

I think you were in the wrong relationship.

I couldn't sustain one if I had to.

But I feel...

something strong.

I feel different.

And... I think we deserve

to find out what that is.

We deserve to be as far away

from each other as possible.

Wait! Why? Why?

Look at us!

You lie about saving frogs

and cleaning Third World drinking water!

And I cheat on boyfriends,

that's who we are.

We're both disasters,

neither of us deserve love!

Then we're perfect for each other.

We're flawed. We're a sh*t show.

We're two people full of flaws.

Oh, my God. That's your pitch?

Damn, dude, that sh*t ain't workin'.

Look, love is f***ed up,

it's confusing, and it's terrifying,

and it's... it's painful, it sucks.

But I'm looking at you right now...

I want to risk it.

I know it could be a mistake. I know

we could make each other miserable.

But if we have even the slightest

chance of being that one time...

I'm willing to regret you

for the rest of my life.

God, I hate you.

I love you, too.

I really hate you. I hate you.

Everybody has their own ideas about love.

They have their philosophies,

and facts and rules of how it works

and what you're supposed to do,

but none of that sh*t matters

because love isn't a thinking thing,

it's a feeling thing

and this is what it felt like for me.

Live your own story, and don't worry,

I promise I won't put myself in it.

Pour some honey on the world

For sweeter soul before you go

Paint some color in your heart

You won't end what you don't stop

In faith plan this all one night

I was drunk, you were dressed in white

And we talk down on the beach

I slurred my speech, you kiss my cheek

Hearts and rainbows in the sky

For you and I

Oh, my mind

You know I love to see you smile

Each and every time

It blows my mind

And you know that life goes on

With the tops and downs

its twists and shouts

Help me understand the world

You're the sweeter soul I've ever known

Now there's color in my heart

For a brand new start, here we go

Hearts and rainbows in the sky

For you and I

Oh, my mind

You know I love to see you smile

Each and every time

It blows my mind

Hearts and rainbows in the sky

For you and I

Oh, my mind

You know I love to see you smile, woman

Each and every time, woman

It blows my mind

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