Pledge This! Page #2

cover, let the fun begin.

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Gamma Gamma Girl group hug!

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All right, that's enough.

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l like the love...

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but let's not get all Ellen

DeGeneres about it, okay?

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lt's so good.

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- Kristen?

- Gloria.

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Hi. What are you doing here?

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Surprise!

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- Mr. Haas.

- Oh, hey, Gloria.

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- Hi.

- How are you? Nice to see you.

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Whoo!

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How are you doing?

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- l'm great.

- What is this?

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Well, l ran into Gloria's mom a

while back, and she mentioned...

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she was coming to South Beach,

so l made a few phone calls...

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and we arranged for

you two to live together.

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- Bingo!

- Wow, thanks, dad.

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- Yeah, unexpected.

- Full of surprises.

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Well, l know what good

friends you two are.

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- Were.

- Like, in the ninth grade.

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You two get reacquainted...

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l'll go get the rest

of the bags, okay?

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- Sure.

- l'll be right back.

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Are you sure this is

what you really want?

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l don't understand why you

have to live in the dorms...

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when we live in Coral Gables.

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Oh, you don't understand.

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'Cause l don't understand why

you had to park your car...

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in someone else's garage.

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And by car, l mean cock.

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- Mommy, what's a--

- It's a rooster, honey.

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Kathy, what do you

want me to say?

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l keep telling you l'm sorry.

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Yeah, you're sorry all right--

a sorry excuse for a husband.

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Kids, mommy's going

away to college.

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And you know why?

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Daddy decided to sleep with some

little tramp from his office!

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Well, see you Thanksgiving.

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- Bye, kids.

- Bye. Love you.

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Hey, football, huh?

Anybody up for a gangbang?

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Kathy, Jesus Christ!

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- Victoria.

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- Baby Dick, l missed

you so much.

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Not as much as l missed you,

my little English muffin.

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This is my new

boyfriend in training.

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He's already progressed

to week three.

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Wow.

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And, ladies, he's my property,

so hands and eyes off.

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Well, you can look.

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Now go and be a good boy,

and go get my luggage.

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lt's been on the sidewalk

for ten minutes.

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Right away, princess.

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Oh, and Baby D?

Gamsie needs to go potty.

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Okay.

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Thanks, b*tch.

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Hi there! l'm Kathy!

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l'm your roommate!

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Well, come here, you!

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Oh, it is so good to meet you.

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We are gonna be

BFF, you and me.

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- Maxine. Nice to meet you.

- Ooh, who's the hottie?

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- That's my daddy.

- Dirty son of a b*tch.

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Hey, roomie, do you know where

l could find some pot?

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- No.

- Ludes?

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- No.

- Meth? Lsd? Pcp? Crack rocks?

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No!

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Well, looks like l'm gonna

have to kick it old school.

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Ugh!

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- Here, let me help you unpack.

- No, not that bag!

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Hey, good idea. Sugar buzz!

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This fool's lucky he didn't

walk into Gamma.

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His pee-pee would've

Ieft on a stretcher.

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Don't forget to call every night.

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l promise, Mom. Goodbye.

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Keep an eye on that girl.

l think she might be disturbed.

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Mom!

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l'm so sorry about that.

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You know what moms are like.

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Yeah. Drunks with guns.

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- l'm Babs.

- Tonya.

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Open!

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Um, hi there. l think we

found your roommate.

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Yeah, we can't pronounce her

name. It sounds very exotic.

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- Uh, Senagarvar--

- Senagarvarapoopoo Ghandasini.

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Oh, PooPoo! That's cute.

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Very nice to make the

acquaintance to you.

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'Sup? Monique. l like your style.

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Hi, l'm Maxine.

'Sup, Maxine?

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l'm Kathy, and l like to party.

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Good to know.

l'm here studying music.

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Word, homey.

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l'm just here to get even

with my husband.

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l'm gonna nail as many

guys as possible.

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l'm just here for general

studies, for now.

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Hey, you girls wanna check

out my new boob job?

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Doctor says they should

realign themselves...

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and the scarring should go

down in a few months.

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l'm sure to land some man meat

with these milk bags, huh?

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