Pledge This! Page #3

When living together, blondes

and brunettes will always fight.

200

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You look a lot different than

the last time l saw you.

201

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11:33,100 -- 00:11:35,193

My solution? Let the blonde win.

202

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No, l mean you look good.

203

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Yeah.

204

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Listen, let's just be clear.

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We're not in ninth grade

anymore, okay?

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We're different people now.

At least l am.

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So let's not pretend we're gonna

be college buddies, okay?

208

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Just because you got yourself

some new clothes,

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and bleached your teeth,

and fixed your nose.

210

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l didn't get my nose fixed!

211

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God!

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Level-one, level-two,

Ievel-three, level-four.

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One, two, three, four.

214

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12:10,066 -- 00:12:12,330

How many Red Bulls

did she drink?

215

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About the same as

me--nine or ten.

216

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12:14,533 -- 00:12:16,797

One, two, three, four.

217

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One, two, three, four.

218

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One--ooh!

219

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No-no-no-no-no-no! PooPoo.

220

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No, honey. That's a vibrator.

221

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Without my guidance...

222

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girls look for love in

all the wrong places.

223

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lt's called the Platapussy.

224

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What is a Platapussy, please?

225

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Well... No-no-no.

226

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lt's okay, it won't hurt you.

227

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Who thinks it's time for PooPoo

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to meet her special little friend?

229

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- Ooh, l do.

- Right here.

230

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Well, it is an important

American tradition.

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Come on, sweetie.

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- Bye!

- Bye!

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- Bye.

- Have a good time!

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No! No! No!

235

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Going at it like a little

hamster in there.

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- Yes! Yes! Oh! Oh!

- Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!

237

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USA!

238

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Oh! l love this country.

239

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Oh! Ah, ah, ah!

240

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Go, America!

241

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l like this new

American Tradition.

242

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Let's check those

bad boys out.

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- Ready?

- Oh, yeah.

244

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Look over here.

245

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A time-honored college tradition

is ignoring the three-way...

246

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in the bathroom

stall behind you.

247

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How much does he wish these

lips were in that stall with him?

248

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What are you doing?

249

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14:33,433 -- 00:14:36,834

My dog is such a perv.

l love it.

250

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14:35,933 -- 00:14:37,662

Mmm. Now l'm craving sushi.

251

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Moshi Moshi.

252

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Paging Plumber Jones.

253

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Plumber Jones.

254

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What is the problem? Over.

255

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There's a pipe blockage

in the girl's bathroom.

256

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We need you to

go check it out.

257

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This problem is solved.

258

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Signing off.

259

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Son, l realize you always wanted

to be a plumber like your old man.

260

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As long as people remain full of

sh*t, we'll have job security.

261

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Stay here.

262

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l'm coming!

263

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lt's a lovely smile, isn't it?

264

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Now, cleanliness is

next to godliness.

265

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l have been supervisor of this

dorm for over 27 years...

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and l take personal pride in

maintaining a sanitary

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and a wholesome environment.

268

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The rules of the dormitory

are very simple.

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One:
Although this is

a coed college...

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this is not a coed dormitory.

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Any sexual touching

is forbidden.

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Two:
a good student

is a clean student...

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and that must be reflected

in their environment.

274

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What is wrong with you?

275

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l gotta pee so bad my

back teeth are floating.

276

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Lucky there's a

potty right here.

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Hurry. We don't

want any accidents.

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Sit on the paper if

you are going to sit.

279

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l think she needs

more toilet paper.

280

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Help!

281

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Go, go! Hurry!

282

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l'm going down the gurgler.

283

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Grab her legs.

284

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Just hold on.

285

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l don't want to die.

286

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Oh, sweet Jesus, do not

Iet me die in here.

287

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l'm stuck, and the

toilet's eating me.

288

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- Can you please hurry up?

- We're gonna get you outta there.

289

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You hang on.

290

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Oh, no!

291

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lt's a 10.2 on the shitter scale!

292

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lt's never gone this high before!

293

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l have no idea what that means.

294

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Everybody run!

295

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What the hell is wrong

with that man?

296

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Get down!

297

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Oh, sh*t!

298

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Oh, my god!

299

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l am closing down

this dormitory.

300

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All of you get out!

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lt's just like when l used to live

next to the methane plant.

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Please step back. We just had

a plumbing emergency....

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