Pocketful of Miracles Page #4

Then why don't you give me my letter?

Why keep asking stupid questions?

Madam, I'm compelled to ask you

to leave these premises.

- No. Not till I get my letter.

- Shall I call the police, Mr Cole?

Send for the police. I'm no criminal.

I haven't done anything.

Please, mister.

I don't want to make any trouble.

I just want my letter, that's all.

It's from my daughter, see.

It came all the way from Spain. She...

She thinks I'm somebody.

Please?

Lloyd.

Yes, Mr Cole?

Do you recall a letter

addressed to a Mrs Manville?

- Mrs E Worthington Manville.

- E Worthington...

Why, yes. It came this morning.

- You see? I told you.

- Let her have it.

God bless you. God bless you!

- What are you waiting for? Get the letter.

- But I sent it back.

- You sent it back?

- I returned it marked "Party not known".

You can't send it back. She'll find out

that I don't live here. Don't you see?

Shh. Please.

- Has the mail gone out yet?

- Yes. The boy picked it up a twinkle ago.

Look. There he is now.

Boy!

Boy! Yoo-hoo! Stop!

She can't do that in here. Stop her.

Don't put any more letters in that box!

Where do you think you are? Madam!

There it is. I'd know it anywhere.

- Thank you, sir.

- Leave this hotel at once.

Here.

Bless you, sir.

My letter. Where's my letter?

- Grab my hand.

- Grab her hand. Here we go. Up.

- I'm all right. Let me go.

- There you are.

Just as I said:

With Prohibition repealed,

you'll see our streets

full of nasty old drunks like that.

Listen, Flyaway. Are you the smartest

agent in town, or you're just a lot of talk?

Your butter I don't need.

You want four bodyguards?

They get 100 a week, I get 100.

- With guns.

- Then I get 200.

- Why you? They got the guns.

- What's guns? I got the permits.

All right. They gotta be from out of town,

dress nice and only shoot in self-defence.

You want four Tom Mixs.

- You don't owe me a favour?

- Do I owe you a movie star?

You were in deep trouble.

I sneaked you out of town in Little Switz.

- What do you want? My wife?

- Which one?

Who do you want protected?

But he can't know nothin' about it.

The boss.

The Dude? I wouldn't do that

for one million dollars!

- Hey, what are you talkin' about?

- The Dude is hot.

I never was here.

Get yourself the marines.

What? Hey, you creep,

where are you goin'?

It was all over town in two minutes.

He insulted a king.

King? What king?

Who remembers faces?

I don't remember...

- Queenie.

- It was open.

- Where's the king of New York?

- Where you been?

The Dude's lookin' for you.

He read Winchell.

Just returning a few items

I won't need any longer.

Two kings of New York, and one needs

a bodyguard? He ain't my client.

Flyaway, stay here. I gotta talk to you.

Hey, Flyaway, there's a 10G bonus.

Hello.

Junior, what do you want?

I am here with two representatives

of our out-of-town friend, Mr Bigelow.

- Bigelow? What Bigelow?

- The Chicago Big... elow.

He wants to see the boss right away

to negotiate a deal.

Holy cow. The deal is still on

and the Dude ain't here.

Look, Junior, you gotta stall 'em,

because I gotta think in my head.

Tell him to hurry up.

Mr B has a touch of mal de mer.

Mal de what?

Oh, you mean seasickness.

Just get the car and come right over.

Wait a minute. He's gonna need an apple.

Stop off at Schubert Alley, get the bag and

her apples. Don't stop to play stickball.

- You. There you are.

- Hey, Dude. The man's on the phone.

The man wants to negotiate a deal!

- Is this true, what I read in Winchell's?

- I suppose you can read.

Why, you two-timing dame. Are you

leaving me for that cafeteria clown?

Yeah. The wedding's Saturday.

You two-timing dame.

You ain't even been one-timed!

You ain't walking out on me

after what I did for you.

I took you from nothing

and made you into something.

So I could become a gangster's

flashy moll? Not me, mister!

You ain't walking out on me. You hear me,

Queenie? I'm Dave the Dude.

I'm not walking. I'm running!

Now you listen to me, Queenie. Watch it!

- You...!

- Watch it, Queenie.

- What are they doing?

- Playing house. What, are you still here?

- The bodyguards. I just thought of four...

- Look, I'm a busy man.

What's the matter with you?

Take a walk! Out!

Flyaway!

No, you're not going out that door.

You owe me one thing, Queenie,

and I'm gonna collect.

You ain't leaving here

with that halo still on your head.

This place is like the inside

of a goat's stomach. Hey, Dave? Dave?

Hey, Dave. Look, I don't wanna butt in.

Excuse me for interruptin', Dave, but...

- Dave...

- Man, you have the worst sense of timing.

I hate to interrupt,

- but I just got a message from Junior.

- From Darcey? What did he say?

- Get me a pair of pants.

- Change your own diaper!

I said pants me! And fix yourself up.

Make yourself decent. What'd he say?

In front of her?

She's marrying JP Cafeteria.

I don't care if she marries J Edgar Hoover.

Now what did he say?

Dave, I could hardly believe it, but Darcey

wants to meet with you again, right away.

- Didn't I tell you he'd come around?

- Yeah, that he'd come around.

Look, this is worth millions. Let's not

blow the whole cake to win a little crumb.

Will you stop worrying?

- Others pay him. Why should he pay you?

- I'm Dave the Dude, not one of the others.

- Now go get Annie.

- Yeah, go get Annie.

That's all taken care of.

Junior's bringing her over right now.

Why don't you look where you're going?

Yeah.

- We're on our way.

- You're keepin' Darcey waitin'.

- So let him wait.

- You can't. The man is king.

The king loses face, our heads

go on display in the marketplace.

You've been reading books again.

Where the hell is Annie?

Annie. Annie!

Big shots. Big dopes!

Your life depends on a beggar's apples,

and this superstitious heel...

- Are you still here?

- You'll wind up in the federal pen.

Or swimming with your feet

in cement, like Papa.

- That's why I'm marrying Howard Porter.

- Don't keep the groom waiting.

- Not another minute!

- Get back in there.

- If I could only cry!

- Queenie!

Dude, I can't find Apple Annie anywhere.

She ain't nowhere, I'm telling you.

I hope she croaks!

What do you mean,

you can't find her anywhere?

All you gotta do is ask

any panhandler on Broadway.

- There ain't no panhandlers on Broadway.

- What?

There ain't a beggar on the street.

It's scary. It's like Broadway was naked.

I'm ashamed to look at it.

Hi, Mr Dude, fellas.

Well, the Easter Parade's

a little early this year.

- No panhandlers on Broadway, huh?

- I didn't see 'em before, boss.

- I should drop dead...

- Maybe you should.

It's only an expression.

- Any of you crumbs seen Apple Annie?

- Yeah, I saw her.

One at a time. You.

- It's about Annie.

- What about Annie?

- She's in a pickle.

- Pickled. I can believe that.

Mallethead saw her on the waterfront,

in the water looking.

She was stumblin' along, talkin' to herself.

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