Podium Page #2

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Yes, you!

- This can't be.

Claude... is it you?

Are you deaf?

I told you!

No! Couscous, if this is a joke

I don't find it funny.

Listen, if you can't handle it

just tell me!

You'll be a Claude Franois again.

Find your dancers,

work out...

something that wouldn't hurt.

And you'll win. Let's go.

Claude, listen...

- Dammit!

What?

What if I told you that

Claude called?

What if I told you that

Claude called?

To get back on stage.

What I wanted to ask...

Do you know where my

star shaped buttons are?

What buttons?

The ones I wore at

Tigy in Februari '95.

No.

Yes, the real Bernard was back.

All we needed were our dancers.

And for Bernard to practice

for the night of the imitators.

Finally a new tour of

"Bernard Frdric and his Bernadettes".

And I was Bernard's coach again.

His father's dead?

- March 9, '61.

No, March 19th.

To freshen up his memory

I played a game with him.

One that we played 5 years ago.

A kind of quiz.

Favourite food?

- Lobster bouillon and wine.

By what chef?

- Leduc.

Jeannette left him. When and where?

1962, Bcaud.

Bcaud, that bastard.

It'll be strange seeing Jacqueline again.

- She called.

Will she accept?

-She sounded happy.

She was a beautiful woman

and a great dancer too.

Yes. Very beautiful.

Very elegant.

I guess I can tell you now.

She and I...

Yeah, alright. Ring the bell.

Well?

Isn't this great, Bernard?

-Yes, excellent.

I've been waiting so long for this.

- What about us?

Yes, we've been through a lot.

The Concert at Monsieur Meuble

in '92. That rocked!

With the Catherinettes in Garches,

on the parking lot of Bricorama in '95.

Thet day Michel Delpech was

sexing me up.

Not everyone can say that.

Until Boy Rgis made me an offer

five years ago.

The Boy George imitator.

All they wanted to do is

sleep with eachother.

So I left.

Yes, he wasn't as gay as

the original.

I bet it's part of his failure.

Fine, so...

I work at Pantashop.

As an interim sales manager.

It's time to go.

Sorry, I'm boring you.

-Not at all.

You look just like a

Bernadette. Let's go.

What will we do at the night

of the imitators?

What night?

-of the imitators. Why?

The night of the imitators?

Did you come to say goodbye

in this clothes?

We just came over to chat.

With those stupid glasses on!

I've had enough. Get out!

Out! attack, My Way! Attack!

Stupid My Way!

Get out, you freaks.

Bastards!

What a stupid idea, calling

your dog My Way.

Usually I can understand

but My way is blasphemy.

You should respect the

cultural excess.

Cultural exception!

One thing is true.

You really look stupid

with those glasses.

Just one month to go

We better hurry.

Now what?

-We can be a duo.

What song will we do?

Let's do Le Tlphone Pleure.

Excellent! But where do we find

the sing-along girl?

Don't worry.

I have an idea.

Three, four, come on!

No, Sbastien, this pencil

isn't for fun.

Respect the tempo.

Again. Three, four.

You're the one from last time.

Let me get her.

I think she's in the kitchen.

No, not in the kitchen,

she's taking a bath.

You've told me that 4 times.

I don't care if it

takes all afternoon...

but you will learn this song.

Three, four!

I'll get her. She's taking a bath.

I don't know if she'll come.

Fine. Now me. Let me sing

holding the horn.

Tell her, please...

look at me.

Tell him that it's important

and tell him to wait.

It's me!

What's up?

We're doing his homework.

3 times 7?

- 21.

Screw her. Let's go.

Tell him that it's important

And to wait.

And that he'll wait

What's he waiting for?

Stop crying. It's the phone

that cries. What's he waiting for?

Sbastien, concentrate!

You don't understand!

What's this about?

A papa that wants to talk to mama

but mama doesn't want to.

So she says she's taking a bath

Understand?

What did she tell him?

Think. What?

His mama tells him!

She tells papa you're

a filthy bastards.

Come, sweetheart.

You just tore an 8000 Franc sheet.

-How much?

Forget it.

I'm warning you. Do what you want

but leave Sbastien alone.

Don't complain to me when

he's behind in school.

And he waits...

Spread your legs wide, Mrs Estrada.

My husband thinks he's

Barthez is. The goalie.

He speaks Marseillan

and jumps anything that moves.

A psychotherapist? Could he

help Bernard?

He sure helped me.

Dr. Dandieu taught me to

accept my baldness.

Sorry, but a guy named

Johnny wants to see you.

No. Johnnys on wednesday only,

with the Elvises.

He insists.

Tell him to come back

tomorrow morning.

I bet there is a Mike Brant

that commits suicide tonight.

In short, you think

you're Claude Franois?

No, I think I'm Bernard Frdric.

Claude Franois is my job.

- Right.

Well... it used to.

Because, as you say...

people think

that Claude Franois was a trend.

But it's not. It's a job.

And a tough job too.

Come to think about it Claude Franois...

has always been Claude Franois.

It's far more practical.

I, however...

have had to struggle

to keep up.

Bernard Frdric, are you prepared...

to go into therapy with me?

What is it you dos?

What are you? A Doctor? Psychiatrist?

Psychotherapist.

-Where's the proof?

Did you get a diploma that says:

"I am a psychotherapist"?

From another psychotherapist?

But besides the piece of paper

thereis nothing that tells me

you're not an impostor.

So?

You're an impostor. So am I,

your secretary...

and the Johnny guy.

We're all impostors.

Does Bernard Frdric keep you

from doing your job??

No.

Do me a favour and don't keep

Bernard Frdric...

from doing Claude Franois.

This is for your kids.

Relax. It's no big deal.

Your husband should continue

to identify himself.

Let him find his identity again...

By shaking off the alter ego

of his imitator.

Let him go.

He will see how absurd

his comeback really is.

Dammit!

What's keeping him?

Girls...

I can imagine...

how you must feel today.

Because you are finally...

in the waiting room of fame

and fortune.

Many will come

but only few will succeed.

Four of you. Four, not five...

Will have the immense privilege...

of becoming a Bernadette.

Behind me... the singing chairs

of Bernard Frdric.

Two will sit right of Christ.

the other two left of Couscous.

Couscous...

is he the filthy pig

that never stops eating...

but you have to respect him,

just like me...

because he'll always be the best

Michel Polnareff...

of his generation.

You, with the squid on your head.

Do you think that's funny?

Get your stuff and get out of here!

Good luck, everyone

Sylvie Dubertrand, 13, Emile Paul Street,

Bourg-la-Reine.

Date of birth 14/04/79...

brown eyes, 1 meter...

-Fine.

Been to dance academy?

-Yes.

Good. Everybody listen.

Here you don't say just "yes"

You'll say "Yes, Bernard".

Do you understand?

I always want a "Yes"

followed by "Bernard".

They are inseperable.

Like Stone and Charden.

Is this clear?

You can't say "Hi Stone".

But always "Hi Stone and Charden".

Understood?

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