Police Academy 6: City Under Siege Page #5

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- Boo.

- Boo who?

Quit crying.

This will be over in a moment.

- That's it!

- Huh?

Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes

is where I draw the line.

[DOG BARKING]

[IMITATING OVERDUBBED

KUNG FU MOVIE]

This time it's you and me.

Leave the dog out of it.

Okay, let's see what you got.

All right.

Airline pilot, huh?

All right, let's finish it.

Damn you!

[IMITATING ROBOT]

What the hell are you made of?

Target:
Human.

Mission:
Destroy.

My God, you're a robot!

"My God, you're a robot!

My God, you're a robot!"

- Please, don't kill me!

- "Please, don't kill me!"

"Please, don't kill me!"

Rest now, human.

Furlinger Magnum Special.

Hey, you're pretty good.

I'm the best.

Cute.

You know, this has been a lot of fun,

but I have to place you under arrest.

You wouldn't shoot...

...an unarmed man, would you?

MAN:

Welcome, Sergeant Lassard.

- So you know me.

- Oh, yes, indeed.

Whatever you're paying your informer,

it's not enough.

Your cohorts are causing me

very great annoyance.

As we speak, my associates

are finishing off your friends.

And now I'm going to finish you.

Poison gas?

Oh, come on, give me a break.

Yes, melodramatic, I know,

but effective.

Goodbye, Sergeant Lassard,

and take care.

[NICK COUGHING]

That's a nasty little cough you have.

That's not gonna do it.

Help!

Help!

You okay?

As you were, sergeant.

Thanks.

Now, where's Mr. Big?

We better split up.

Oh!

Man...

Come on.

You got anything?

I think we lost him.

I think we found him.

HIGHTOWER OVER RADIO:

The perpetrator's attempting escape...

...west on Foundry.

Sir, Lieutenant Hightower's chasing

the perpetrator our way!

HARRIS:
Well, what are you waiting for?

Let's get out of here!

HIGHTOWER OVER RADIO:

Repeat:
West on Foundry Street.

I am pursuing in a commandeered

civilian vehicle.

Tack!

Tack! Jones!

I got him! He's in the truck!

Come on!

Anybody know how

to drive one of these?

Affirmative, sir!

We took one on our honeymoon.

Y'all hang tight.

Paddy wagon will be by in a minute.

See y'all later.

Yeehaw!

Yeehaw!

HARRIS:

I don't see anything, Proctor.

Well, this is Foundry Street.

I heard Hightower on the radio.

You must have been mistaken,

because there is nothing going on here.

[SCREAMING]

I do not believe it!

Shoot. Don't say it, Proctor!

Just don't say it.

- Told him so.

- I heard that!

MAN:
I don't care where it's going.

I'm getting on.

- What are you doing?

- I'm picking up passengers.

Why?

Well, I have to, sir.

They're on my route.

Let's go! Move it, move it, move it!

Let's move! Go! Go! Go!

Sit down! Let's go!

You know what you're doing?

Relax, I do this all the time.

Look out!

Welcome aboard, cowboy!

- Woo-hoo!

- Whoo!

He had a lot of trouble with that landing.

I'll give it a nine.

HARRIS:
Look out for Gene & Roger's

Fruit Stand!

MAN:

Get out of here, you maniac!

- Have a nice evening, sir.

- Yeah, sure.

You're much better

than the regular driver.

"You're much better

than the regular driver."

- There go the lights.

HIGHTOWER:
All right! Let's go!

What are you doing here?

Well...

...we chased the mastermind

into this office, sir.

Well, he isn't here.

So get out there and find him!

Yes, sir.

What are you doing here?

That man is an imposter!

Me?

No, he's the imposter!

Okay, make way! Make way here!

Move it, move it! Commissioner Hurst...

...they have violated their suspensions.

I demand they be brought up on charges!

- Oh, Harris, shut up!

- Oh, shut up, Harris!

Well, one of these guys

is the mastermind.

But which one?

There's only one sure way to find out,

and that's the Pinocchio test.

That was it. Sorry, commissioner.

Whoo!

Hello, guys and gals!

Oh, boy. I wish I had a picture

of your stupid faces.

Mr. Mayor!

Hello, Harris, you stupid twit!

Thank you for all the info when you were

trying to catch me. I found it so useful.

Woo-hoo!

Harris was the leak?

I didn't know!

I mean, he was the mayor. I mean...

- How was I supposed to know?

- Why?

For money, sir.

He knew property along the

Railink route would be very valuable.

So he had his gang set up a crime wave

to devalue the property...

...so he could buy it up, cheap.

With the damage that blackout caused,

well, he was gonna own it all.

He'd just sit back,

stop the crime wave...

...retire from public service

and watch his property skyrocket.

You mean this was all

just a real-estate scam?

A billion-dollar real-estate scam, sir.

Hee!

Take him away.

Take me away? Oh, how rude!

How rude! Whoo!

Take yourselves away. Try that!

As a matter of fact, you're all fired.

Each and every one of you is fired. Fired!

And don't you touch my model ships!

Not one of you!

Don't touch them!

The little men are so delicate.

They'll crumble

between your big, fat fingers!

Your big cop fingers!

Eric, I owe you and the team an apology.

I've been a fool.

Yes.

But that's all right, commissioner.

Consider yourself

and your team reinstated.

All right!

MAN:
And so it is with great honor

that I award these men and women...

...the Distinguished Service Medal

for serving this city in its hour of need.

Ladies and gentlemen,

our honored police officers.

[PLAYING BAND MUSIC]

I think I'll take your seat, lieutenant.

You take mine.

Yes, sir.

Unless there's some problem.

Nope. No problem.

Oh...

Proctor.

Oh, Proctor.

Proctor!

Proctor!

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