Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow

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And ready, here we go.

Five, four, three, two...

Good evening. Tragedy in Taiwan.

Disaster in Denmark.

Mayhem in Malaysia.

Those stories and more coming up later.

Tonight's lead story:

the computer game phenomenon...

...distributed by alleged Russian

Mafia leader Konstantine Konali...

...has taken the world by storm.

Out of the cold climates of Russia...

...comes the hottest

computer game sensation...

...simply called "The Game. " Ed?

- Ed, what are you doing?

- You gotta try this game. It's great.

Not now, Ed.

In the past six months...

..."The Game" has generated

over $1.5 billion in revenue...

- ... breaking all previous records.

- Get him, you miserable bear!

What makes this game stand out?

This is the first time that a video game...

- ... has appealed to a youthful...

- Ed!

...as well as a more sophisticated market.

- Oh, sh...

- "The Game," available in cartridges...

...as well as floppy disks for computer,

has everybody playing.

Take it, Lindsay, take it.

The creator and mass-marketer

of "The Game" is Konstantine Konali...

- ... allegedly head of the Russian Mafia.

- No, no, no!

Konali and...

What is he up to in Moscow?

Get your hands off it.

- Get your hands off the game!

- I want that game!

I'm not giving you my game!

Give it to me!

You're through at this station.

You're through.

Misha, take care of Skippy.

Ay.

Leonid, Leonid, Leonid.

Enough living in the shadows.

Someday...

...this will all...

...be mine!

This crime problem is out of hand.

Yes, Boris Nikolayevich.

We need help.

I can recommend a man I met

during the international conference.

I understand he has already

had dealings with Konali...

...when Konali was in America.

I will make this very clear.

Can he help us get Konali?

Yes, Boris Nikolayevich.

He is just the man for the job.

Keep me informed.

Ah.

Oh.

There you are, son.

How are the new recruits doing?

It might be the best class ever,

except for one man.

- He's afraid of heights.

- See what you can do for him.

I find that sometimes the least likely

cadets make the finest police officers.

Commandant Lassard, throw us the ball.

Off the scoreboard...

...off the floor, off the wall...

...off the redhead.

Nothing but net.

- Not bad.

- I love this game.

Connors. Where's Connors?

Thanks, Connors. You fixed it.

That's a classified police file.

"The academy has assembled a special

team for a mission to Moscow. "

I'd kill for that job.

Webster's on the list. Why him?

Because he graduated first in our class.

Yeah, well...

...can he do this?

Yep.

Can he do this?

- Yep.

- That's all I got.

What are you doing?

- Well, I've never been to Russia.

- Okay, now put it back.

Connors. Sergeant wants you.

- Yeah.

Now.

I'm so very, very glad to see you.

The Moscow police

have asked us to assist them...

- ... in apprehending Konstantine Konali.

Russkies?

The godfather of Russian

organized crime.

Men...

Six years ago...

...Konali helped to establish a branch

of the Russian Mafia here...

...in our country.

Nearly got him then.

Unfortunately, he slipped through our

fingers and escaped back to Moscow...

...where he continues

his criminal activities...

...aided by his brother Mikhail

and pet snake Skippy.

Home run!

Now we get another chance

to apprehend him.

Man, what a wimp.

Connors, get down here.

You're never gonna pass the test.

I've gotta pass. My father was a cop.

His father was a cop.

His father was a horse thief.

- You got vertigo. Let's go.

- Vertigo. Ha!

I don't have vertigo.

Yo, Connors, you want a doughnut?

Not bad.

Connors, let's face it.

You don't have what it takes

to be a cop.

Take this to Commandant

Lassard's office.

- He'll sign off on your dismissal papers.

Bummer, dude.

Now, I want you to meet...

...a new addition to our team.

- You must be Cadet Connors.

- Hi.

I'm very, very impressed by your file.

- Cadet Kyle Connors.

- Mm.

Top grade average in the class.

Sir, I have to tell you something.

Congratulations.

Thanks, but I'm not really the man

in that file.

Oh, I know what you mean.

These reports never do give

an accurate picture of who we really are.

- Hm?

- Yes, but...

Ow!

Ooh!

What the hell is this?

Uh-huh.

Come on, come on. Come on.

- Let's all pull together.

Okay.

Okay, all together, on three!

One, two, three!

Oh, God.

- Sir!

Ah! Captain Harris, our expert in

surveillance, will be accompanying us.

Team, we're all off to Russia...

...to kick many, many butt-skis.

Ah, Alexander Nikolaivitch.

Men...

...this is the honorable Commandant

Alexander Nikolaivitch Rakov.

- Sasha.

- May I say it is an honor...

...to have the great Commandant

Lassard visiting our country?

- Yes, you may.

- May I kiss you again?

- No, you may not.

- May I escort you inside?

Yes, you may.

It is really wonderful

to have you here in Russia.

Please say hello to your lovely wife...

...and tell her I'm sorry

she's not here with you.

Yes. Lieutenant Yuri Talinsky.

Head of our organized crime unit.

Please, don't underestimate

the power of the Russian Mafia...

...the most sadistic organization

in the world.

Katya.

This is Sergeant Katya Sergei.

She has been handpicked

to be your guide and translator.

Lieutenant Talinsky,

I hold you personally responsible...

...for the comfort and safety of the

Americans and Commandant Lassard.

- Yes, sir.

- Now, Americans and Russians...

...we must grab Konali

like the insect that he is...

...and we must then crush him!

- God.

Make way. Jones. Jones.

- Jones. Make way. Make way.

- Oh!

I am Captain Thaddeus Harris

and in this case...

...I have state-of-the-art

American surveillance equipment.

I'll have this Konali business

wrapped up for you in a few days.

Excuse me, Ricky.

I must go to the toilet.

Yes, of course.

- Pardon me. Which is my car?

- The one in front.

The one in front. Oh, yeah.

- What did he say?

- Well, he said that you had...

...a marvelous attitude and you're

a pleasure to work with, sir.

I'm going to keep my eye on you.

The red zone

is for Communist parking only.

The one in front.

The red zone

is for Communist parking only.

Oh, hello.

Lieutenant Talinsky didn't

tell me his family would be here.

Very nice of you to come and greet me.

Katrina, I want you to think of me

as America's goodwill ambassador.

And you think of me

as translator and guide.

Stop! Stop!

Ay! Ay-yai-yai-yai-yai.

I'm in deep borscht.

Captain Callahan, 511.

Sergeant Jones, 513.

Sergeant Tackleberry, 514.

Cadet Connors, 520.

Captain Harris, 515.

Not exactly a four-star hotel, is it?

Well, we spend our police budget

on fighting criminals...

...not on pampering

out-of-town visitors.

Your government brought us here.

They also bring in monkeys for zoo...

...but we don't put them

in four-star hotel either.

Well, I just go check

on Commandant Lassard.

Lassard. Lassard. You!

You.

- Hm-mm.

- You.

I have job for you.

Again. When you hear door, you say:

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