Poltergay

It's beautiful!

We need to fix that...

using the same materials...

Right. I'm off!

- Here's my drill.

- See you later.

No drills at work?

In construction, but unconstructive!

Thanks Dad.

Good one!

Thanks Dad.

Here.

Here's David.

Delivery man!

AIready here, babe?

Oh, my pussycat!

I'd for gotten you!

Look at your new house!

What's up, puss?

It's a pile of rot here!

The ceilings are original!

Easy to rip out!

Right, we'll have the charm removed!

For now, we've lots to do!

It's nice. I can't say I don't like it...

but you're miles from Paris!

How did you find it?

A will that Dad handled.

Empty for 30 years.

Did Dad put up the money?

No, we took out a 20-year mortgage.

Oh, yes!

Your pool table!

It takes up the whole room!

Put it in the cellar!

No way! It'll warp and go mouldy!

You break.

It's the only thing I brought!

Take it easy!

I'm a doctor, not a mover.

You drive a medics' truck.

You're happy to use the truck!

- And I'm on call.

- Oh yeah?

They beep you to park?

I need a beer.

Hot stuff, Mr Italy!

- Mark! Come quick!

- What's up?

What's the matter?

- Pretty fast!

- OK!

Wait! I was thinking about this room...

it's quiet, it's next to ours...

it's light, it's ideal for a...

Home cinema! Brilliant!

We black out the windows...

two speakers here! Great idea!

- Can we start now?

- Yeah!

Mark! Emma! I'm off!

- Bye.

- Have fun, babe!

She has gym class with Pablo,

her Cuban coach.

- I need a beer.

- On a Sunday?

Yeah, he works hard. Sundays too.

A great guy. Charges one hour,

but she stays all evening!

Right.

- I'm up at 5 for an early flight.

- Where to?

Pompeii. A new dig at the baths.

- Boring!

- For guys who like pool.

I didn't tell you...

It's never been excavated before!

Never open to the public!

Can you imagine?

Huh? Oh, yeah, that's great.

- Come with me.

- I can't. There's too much to do here!

Don't forget to put up the wardrobe!

OK.

Don't be long.

And the stairs...

fix that step! It's dangerous...

- and tidy up, OK?

- Maldini, shut up!

You're not sleeping here?

Come to our place.

Why? It's my home. I'm not scared.

Valerie would be pleased.

She really likes you.

Let's go!

Shame! A mile wide!

- I slipped!

- You choked!

Give me the chalk!

You blew it!

Isn't Emma anti-spliff?

So?

So you're deceiving her!

Not really.

Watch my retro shot.

Only one other guy can do it.

Was that you?

Right! A dirty trick!

Can you hear that?

Emma, can you hear it?

What?

The music!

What music?

There... that music!

Damn! It's scratched!

There's no music, love.

Not any more.

You were dreaming.

Carlos, how's tricks?

- Frank. Mr Trayner.

- You part-time now?

Sorry for the slight delay.

We just moved house.

- You know how it is.

- No I don't.

Be on time, or you're home

all day, every day!

Capito! As you say!

Absolutely.

Yeah, it's great!

We're working a lot.

It's really great! Wait...

- Later!

- What's that?

Patricians.

Washing.

No. They're buttfucking.

No question about it.

They're buttfucking.

Yes!

For f***'s sake!

What the hell is that!

Sorry!

- You? Here?

- It was open.

Emma's away. I thought I'd drop by.

I brought us a wee drink.

But no glasses in the kitchen.

So it's you.

What?

Taking photos of my ass.

Making d*cks with pool balls.

D*cks with what?

You find it funny?

What are you on about?

Is something wrong?

No, I'm fine, me!

But what's your game?

Nothing!

I'm sorry... I was wrong about you.

I think so!

Right.

Bye!

Otherwise...

Don't tell Emma.

Yes. I mean no.

Yeah.

Quiet please!

Some of us are trying to sleep!

Thank you!

No reply, and she's in my bed.

Yes, sir.

He doesn't answer?

When the cat's away...

- What's up?

- I can't see!

I need a flashlight.

Shame Emma's gone.

You into chicks now? Bad boy, Ivan!

My men are waiting!

You can put it down now!

- Hello.

- Hi, love.

- It's me!

- Hi honey!

- I'll call back.

- We found a great mosaic!

- It's Justinian!

- Great! A mosaic! Super!

- I can't talk now.

- Did you do the wardrobe?

The wardrobe?

- Yeah. It's good.

- Wait...

Did you go out?

- No.

- You slept at home?

I'll call you back. Love you.

It's fine, it's all arranged!

Is somebody there?

I'd better not tell Emma. She'll freak.

No pool tonight, David.

Right, I'm scared of a good thrashing.

Emma's back tomorrow,

and I have to do...

the wardrobe!

Hang on!

Mark...

Modena.

Pavarotti's town?

Exactly!

Well, even cops love painting!

So...

Traces of a break-in?

No break-in.

No break-in? So what was stolen?

- Nothing.

- Hold on... Nothing stolen or broken?

- What did they do?

- Drawings and they put up a wardrobe.

They put up a what?

A wardrobe.

And the ironing. Even my jeans.

With a crease.

Phil!

- Listen, Mr Modena!

- I know...

It's terrible...

we can't fight gangs

doing wardrobes and ironing...

Right.

...but we're quite effective drug-wise.

I didn't see this.

But next time, I might!

Fine, that's good of you.

It's not even mine.

But I guess it was in my house.

Good night.

You scared me!

- It's you!

- You're not asleep?

- You put up the wardrobe!

- Yeah!

- You're hiding something!

- No, why?

Your mistress does your ironing?

In fact, I started doing it myself.

It's very relaxing.

I wanted to surprise you.

What's the matter?

- You hear that?

- What?

There... can you hear it?

No, I can't hear anything... come on!

"Ra-ra-Rasputin,

na-na-na love machine..."

If you're not in the mood...

No, I swear... Iisten!

It's scratched!

It's stopped.

Give up the joints!

Rubbish! I don't smoke!

OK, but you hear Russians,

singing:
"Rasputin, etc..."

They're not Russians. It's Boney M.

I'm just saying, they're not Russians.

It's Boney M, black guys.

Mark, are you sure you feel OK?

Oh yes, you feel fine!

- You feel just fine!

- I feel very fine!

An ass like a docker!

CIumsy! She deserves better!

Forget the girl, Bert!

- There!

- What!

Ivan's dancing. Fancy a quickie?

There! The guy's ass?

-What guy's ass?

-There! You saw it! On the wall!

PIease, stop it!

A guy showed me his ass...

and asked if... I fancied a...

- if I wanted...

- Great! Was it a nice ass?

Did it turn you on?

What now? Come to bed!

I'm just going for some water.

What the f***?

There you are!

What the hell's going on?

Come to watch the fags, eh?

Michael Raffin, gay and proud of it!

- Fascist!

- You what?

Where's your chick?

Got any blow? I'm all out!

He's all rumply!

Not hanging too heavy down there?

The material I mean! What's the fabric?

Enough! Be nice to our intruder!

I'm John, but my friends call me Shaggy.

- This is my f***ing house!

- Have a drink.

That's my wine!

"My house!", "My wine". Chill, man!

A little green, maybe. No effect at all.

'76 is young, though. Needs to age.

So, Mark. We need to talk.

You're cool, but this is our home.

- Private.

- Your home?

Maybe we can help each other out.

You can crash here for a while.

Sure. Thanks!

We've been here for ages.

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