Pornorama Page #3

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- Luzie, who comes right now,

may never understand that the film

we make is about sex.

And not a word that I'm a cop.

Is that clear?

Clear.

- Got it.

Clear.

Hello. I'm Luzie.

This is our team. The best you can find.

All professionals.

Here is your text for the scene...

- Thank you.

We're just missing the lead actress.

That can't be true!

- Where is she?

More than three hours already...

- Freddie, what shall I do?

Gina... she is a diva.

Cesare?

Gina?

Ciao!

Ciao, Bella!

- Ciao.

Well, she really has talent!

- Let me introduce you, Signorina Gina!

I'm the Bennie.

- I've heard so much about you.

Si!

I'm very happy that you take

the lead role in our film...

and I hope that...

and... I am convinced that we will

really work well together.

Va bene!

Good, then nothing can't go wrong

anymore. Would you please change now?

Va bene.

Change... wardrobe. For the role

you need different clothes.

Va bene.

Say, does Gina also speak German?

- German!

The language of love is Italian.

All over the world.

If she doesn't speak German,

she can't play in the film.

Is that clear?

- Is there a problem?

Everything is fine.

Freddie, I'll say it again,

I'm the producer.

If Gina doesn't play in this film,

I give no mark, no penny

not even a lira.

Capito?

She's got her text, she shall just

recite it. Tell her that!

You need to somehow

manage the text in German.

That one?

- Si.

Then comes first a "Dane"...

A Frenchman...

A Spaniard...

And so on...

Doesn't work, huh?

Doesn't work.

I can't do this.

I don't understand anything.

And now?

Bennie, do something.

Please. No matter what.

And... Please!

Well, now please tell me frankly,

what your problem is.

Hold on, please! Where is the problem?

I don't know how to play it.

What shall I say, if I don't

understand what's it about?

Gina doesn't know how to play

if she doesn't know what to say?

We just agreed that she can say

what she wants.

You can say what you want.

What shall I say?

Shall I just improvise?

I don't have a text. So I don't

know what to say, ok?

Gina says she can't think of any text.

- We've got a problem, huh?

Okay. She shall just recite

anything from your menu.

From my menu?

- Yes, your menu!

Come on, tell her. We can't spend

a whole day on that, man.

Recite all the dishes

from the restaurant.

Then they are satisfied.

Va Bene.

- Good!

We are "ready"!

- We shoot the next one.

Sound?

- Running!

And... please!

Well, now please tell me frankly,

what your problem is.

Mozzarella... with tomato.

And...

Saltimbocca.

And...

Freddie, Freddie,

Take over!

And then I, after...

repeated ejaculation...

collapsed unconscious. I!

- I don't hear anything!

I don't see anything. Off!

I don't want to play director,

But this

Italian talk will nobody understand.

We will dub it.

That's international

common practice.

In here.

- Has a little bit of air.

Good, good, very good!

Gina says,

she feels like a dog on a leash.

- Then she shall watch out,

that she doesn't get strangled!

- Ready?

Moment.

I'm... moment. Well...

Sound running!

Camera running. And please!

You need 10 men of various Nationalities

in order to satisfy yourself?

And I'm always only number 11...

That must be tough for you.

You have to learn,

that you still

are a valuable person.

Always these tomatoes.

Spaghetti.

Minestrone.

Sea...

Gina, por favore.

- Everybody come close.

Stay tuned.

Well, we're shooting.

Sound!

- Sound running!

And... Please!

Lasagna al Forno.

Pizza Margherita.

- Stop. Off.

Excuse me,

but I've never seen

that three people

speak into a bouquet.

Either sound or no sound.

- So what now?

No, we rearrange.

We go here... on the two.

Freddie, Gina, the wall must go,

come on.

Well, we're shooting. Sound!

Running!

- Camera is running.

Please.

Lasagne al Forno. Pizza Margherita.

First if you have intercoursed with

several men from different

nationalities in a particular order.

Cesare, they shall start crying now.

Tell her!

Gina, go ahead and cry, please.

Di bella Carbonara...

More expression, please!

- Hah?

"Molto espresso"!

- More expression! Come on, darling!

It was only the Parmesan.

Ah!

- Stop!

Highway!

Ah!

- Fantastic!

That was much better.

We may have to do it again.

- No.

Once more isn't possible.

Bennie, we're not doing art!

What? I don't about art. Well...

- Well? Go ahead!

It is what it is.

- I have to say now, unfortunately,

that the camera after 6 pm

no longer available is.

And it's already later.

- What?

Kpke, please set in the film that you

made at the demonstration,

so we can have a look

at the leaders.

Sorry, boss.

I'm afraid it's not possible.

Unfortunately the material

got exposed to light.

What? That's not possible...

Yes, unfortunately is

everything gone.

You're such a pinhead, Kpke!

Inspector. Maybe I can help.

- Yes, please.

At the demonstration I was assaulted

by an agitator with a cake.

I investigated the incident

independently...

and I can report that the culprit

lives nearby...

in a so-called commune.

- Here, in Ramersdorf?

Their lair is certainly full of drugs.

Enough for a couple of years.

I'll order an immediate crackdown.

Where there's one of this mob,

is certainly a whole nest.

We'll move out in half an hour.

Boss, I've got a proposal.

What if I drive ahead...

to observe the entrance?

- Good idea, Kpke!

I want photos of everybody

going in and out there. - Yes, boss!

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Freddie! Freddie!

What's going on?

- Come on, get in! You gotta help me!

Come on!

Hey, you promised my mother,

that you are watching over me!

Oh man! Stupid adults.

What's that tone?

I'm a person of respect!

And you, please explain me,

what's going on.

Come on, give me your clothes!

- Your brother's even worse than you.

What?

And no nonsense!

- Okay.

Thank you.

- Good luck!

Stop! But not that way!

Are you insane?

Hey, hands off!

Switch it off at once!

- Why? I always wanted to do that.

Me too.

What was that?

The cops are making a raid here!

- What? Come in.

Well, Stalin?

Come on, have a little smoke.

Oh man, dump that!

The cops are coming!

Not a bad idea, with the cake.

- "Manual for hiding drugs".

Where's the back door?

- What back door?

Stay here. A raid is fun.

No, they may not find me here!

- What are you scared for?

Because of the film I'm making.

Open up! Police!

Come.

And into the oven.

God bless you, gentlemen.

- Rsner, come on, run!

Not in the closet!

Come under the blanket!

Moment.

Give me your finger!

- What?

Strip off!

Whoa!

- I've nothing to hide, officer!

Here we've got an evidence

of extramarital intercourse.

This is all legal. If you'd

excuse us. We're about to carry out

our duty for the German people

and produce a small, sweet and

submissive taxpayer.

The possession of a cake

must be legal, no?

At the last demonstration there was

exactly such a cake used as a missile...

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