Post Grad Page #3

- That's $18,000.

You know, she's absolutely right.

I mean, why spend all that money...

when there's probably

a nice local ditch somewhere...

you could take me to

and dump me in for free?

Oh, Maureen, we'd never do that.

No, no, no, no! No!

Ooh.

Special delivery.

I got a cell phone, credit card...

student loan and, last but not least...

one more little item...

I thought you might wanna see.

- Look at that.

- Mmm.

Come on!

Thanks.

Hey.

Got an idea. Since it concerns your future,

I need you to pay attention.

- You listening?

- No. Dad...

Listen to me. Listen to me. Ready?

Buckles.

Buckles.

Yeah. Belt buckles.

Million-dollar niche business.

They're going crazy on the Internet.

Who do you think met a distributor,

is gonna start his own company?

But, Dad, what about The Luggage Shack?

They just made you regional manager.

You gotta think big picture here.

You gotta have vision.

You know what I'm saying?

You just gotta see the...

And since none of this other crap

is really working out for you...

More than likely... gonna

need a vice president.

V.P.

- You go out there and

drum up some business. -

Come on. Let's go out there and put

some buckles on belts. What do you say?

Are you ever gonna actually open that?

It's made a long journey from New York.

I'm letting it breathe.

- You know, Adam, if you don't wanna go...

- Don't give me that sh*t.

It's not like I'm gonna force you.

No, you're just gonna hate me if I don't.

No, I'm not gonna hate you.

I just want more for you.

Do you wanna be like me? You wanna

come home from work 11:00 at night?

Save your whole life so you can afford

the mortgage on a place like this?

I'm going to bed.

- Seriously, yeah.

- It's a very funny thing, you know.

People keep calling me, but

I'm like, " Thanks, but...

...I'm working

for Happerman & Browning.

Make me a better offer, we'll talk."

- So what are you guys doin'?

- Me?

- Why, sure.

- Charles Schwab, baby!

- I'm moving to San Jose... dot-com.

- Oh, nice, man.

- You're going to...

- Pharmacy school, next month.

- Yeah, so what are you doing? What's

your deal? - I got into Columbia. We'll see.

Do it. Stay out of the workforce

as long as you can.

Ryden, what about you? What are you up to?

Uh... I just...

You know, I've been interviewing.

A lot. And, um, just had some

really amazing opportunities...

and just keeping my options open.

So what you're saying is you're unemployed.

God. I feel like such a loser.

Everyone is doing something

with their lives...

and I just turn out to be

this big, pathetic loser.

Come on.

No. I don't want your pity hug.

Come on. Ryden.

It's okay, you poor,

poor, no-talent screw-up.

Oh, shut up! You can joke about it.

You already got into law school.

- So?

- So, you're set. You're good. Whatever.

Yeah, maybe I'm set and I'm good,

but does that mean I'm gonna be happy?

- Come here.

- Screw you. I'm not going in.

You don't have to go in. Just...

come out here so I can tell you something.

- I don't think two people can be on

this thing. - Quit bitching and come here.

Okay.

- Come all the way to the edge.

- What?

I'm celebrating.

I'm opening at The Mint on Friday.

- You are?

- Yeah.

- Shut up! Really?

- Yeah.

Adam, so you're going into music then.

Why don't you just say that?

Well, because I'm not

saying that necessarily.

So you're going to law school?

No, I'm not saying that either necessarily.

- Then what are you saying, necessarily?

- I don't know what I'm saying.

All I'm saying is that I'm opening

at The Mint on Friday. Yea!

Look, you got the hard part figured out.

You know what you wanna do.

Now you can just spend

the rest of your life going after it.

This one's popular with all the

college kids. And this one...

- No, no.

- If you like 'em, you sell 'em all...

- I got plenty more... even higher quality.

- That's fantastic.

- Almost unbelievable.

- I am Hugo, the vampire.

- Not now, Hugo.

- Then help me build my boxcar.

I'm doing business now. Doing business.

It's so lifelike. It is. That's real snake.

- All made right here in the country?

- All here.

Geez, that's fantastic.

I'll call you about the rest of them.

All right, buddy.

Thank you. All right.

Hey, who was that guy?

Here, honey.

Grab that box for me, would you?

Carry it inside.

That's Gary. Gary the Buckle Man.

So these are the buckles, huh?

Yep, first shipment.

Hey. Question.

As vice president...

how would you like to spearhead

the marketing campaign?

- The marketing campaign?

- Yeah. You know, ads and slogans and...

you know, maybe some clever ideas

for some of the buckles, like...

I don't know. What do we got here?

Look at this. Look at that one there. That

could be the... like, the Cobra, you know?

Or, uh... I don't know. Here.

Look... Here. This could be the...

Uh...

It's just the flag of

Delaware. I don't know.

But you know what I mean.

Just some thoughts. Just ideas.

You know what I want...

as vice president, Dad?

I want my car back.

I want to stop having to call a taxi

every time I have to leave the house.

I told you. The part hasn't come in from

the factory yet. It's... It's a curveball.

You're gonna get thrown curveballs.

Life and work are like baseball.

You can't rest at the plate.

You gotta keep trying.

But I am trying hard.

I mean, I... I am scouring the job market.

I... I am. I'm getting up early,

and I'm searching for something, anything...

to get my foot in the door.

And do you have any clue

what these interviews are like?

I mean, I'm constantly having to gauge

how I'm coming across...

all the while without a consistent form

of transportation...

because you turned my car

into your latest science project.

So I really don't need to hear

that I'm not trying right now.

Well, maybe you're setting

your sights too high.

Oh, really? Well, where do you think

I should be setting my sights?

If you just give this one a chance,

I know you're gonna love it.

You just have to open it up,

get in there, check out all the pockets.

Ma'am? Sir?

It's on clearance!

Eye contact. Remember? We talked about it.

You gotta bring 'em in. Okay?

Honey, come on.

You gotta have a positive attitude

if you want to sell the suitcases.

Here. Let me show you something.

Hey, how you doing?

- Fine. - You headed out of town,

if you don't mind me asking?

- Yeah.

- Really? Where you going?

- Maui.

- Oh, wow! Hawaii. That's fantastic.

You going there for business, pleasure?

- Business.

- No, don't say business.

- Don't say business. Say pleasure.

Who go... - Pleasure.

- Why do you ask me the question then?

- I'm try... Here. Look.

Let me show you, honey. Do a little

demonstration, you know, right in here.

Like this. You point at the

wheels or something, you know.

- It's like, you know what? Those

girls from Deal or No Deal. - Mm-hmm.

You do that. Maybe not so slutty,

but show with a hand thing.

Here. Go ahead.

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