Postcards from the Edge Page #3

won't cover you without a screen.

I see.

We're behind you a hundred percent.

It's just...

...a formality.

Yeah, I understand totally.

So do you want blood or urine?

I think urine would be fine.

Do you have a cup or something

that I can put it in?

Don't worry about that.

We'll have the nurse come by

and pick that up later.

It's great to have this little chat.

We're gonna leave you.

Do what you have to do.

We'll see you outside, okay?

Okay, great. Go, go, go.

Have fun.

Thanks.

- Who do these belong to?

- They're Frank's.

- Frankie, I got your shirt.

- Watch your back!

Good morning.

Hi there. You're just the cop

I'm looking for.

We're ready for a lineup.

Are we gonna get a rehearsal

by any chance?

You got this film confused

with a big-budget film.

The lower the budget, the fewer

the rehearsals, the worse the food.

Hello, darling! Great day for it.

You look glorious. Big kiss.

Cactus.

Stick your arms

through the holes please.

- Good morning.

- Hi. Suzanne.

Robert Munch.

Quiet, please! We're gonna

do a block for camera.

There's a lot of dialogue,

so we need total cooperation.

Also, keep in mind there are

live snakes in this shot...

...so we need you to be very careful.

Come in.

Your mom's here.

How was your day, dear?

They made me do a drug test.

I knew it.

I knew you shouldn't do this picture.

Yeah, because it's a bad film, not

because they'd make me do a drug test.

I don't analyse the way you do.

It just felt wrong to me.

I had a dream that it wasn't right.

You don't believe my dreams,

even the one about your kidney stone.

- I'd really like a Percodan.

- I had a dream the other night.

- I had a dream that I was drowning.

- Two Percodan. Make that three.

- A sequined gown dragging me down.

- What does that mean?

I don't want to alarm you,

but I do want to prepare you.

I didn't tell you this before

because of the drug clinic thing.

Remember my hysterectomy?

- The one last year?

- Right. Well, they found tumours.

- Really?

- Fibroid tumours.

But isn't that normal?

Usually. Usually it's normal.

But in our family

all the women die young.

Grandma's still alive.

Barely, and don't contradict me.

I might not be around for much longer.

I don't want to alarm you.

I want to prepare you for my death.

It is so important that you understand

how precious your life is to me.

How did we end up talking about

your death from my drug test?

I don't understand. Could we not talk?

I don't feel very well.

You should have Dr. Feldman look

at you. Maybe you have tumours.

Mine was big as a grapefruit.

I'm gonna kill myself.

Don't say that, even in jest, Suzanne.

You were in a drug clinic.

People might take it the wrong way.

Looks as though

there's a party going on here.

I invited a few friends over

to celebrate your coming home.

Oh, no, Mom. I have to get up early.

I don't want to see them.

All right, if you want,

I'll tell them all to go home.

Surprise!

My little girl is home.

There are people here

I haven't seen since high school...

...nor would I want to.

Louis Karasik!

For chrissake, where did

she come up with Louis Karasik?

Last time I saw him, he threw up

scrambled eggs out of his nose...

...on the way to the library.

Let me look at you, before your fat

old grandmother goes home to bed!

Give me a hug, you fat old grandma.

You sure do stink pretty.

This is my friend Aretha.

- Hi and bye. We're hitting the road.

- Not yet.

Your mother started drinking wine.

She'll rattle off

at the mouth all night.

I'm hightailing it out of here.

Now that you're better,

why don't you get her to stop?

I know. Ornery as a mule,

just like Owen.

- I heard that!

- Well, you are bullheaded, honey.

Don't you want more cashews, Grandpa?

- Did I have some already?

- He's worse every day.

Who gets worse? I heard that.

Get off my back. I want to go home.

- Yeah, well, we're going.

- Not with you!

I want to go home.

Are we going soon?

Soon, sir. Very, very soon.

- You know what my daddy did?

- What?

- What are we talking about?

- I told you.

I heard that!

Get off my back, woman!

Yap, yap, yap!

That's all you do,

all the livelong day.

And the farmer hauled

Another load away

The other day he punched me when

I tried to put clean pajamas on him.

I'm going to skedaddle, baby doll.

You ought to eat more, young lady.

You're no bigger than a pound of soap

after a hard day's wash.

Good night, sugar.

Gotta let them dogs out.

Howdy's got worms.

I have nothing to say.

The same cannot be said

for the rest of your family.

I love them, though. To me, she was

always this lovable, loud mountain.

Your mother wants you inside

to cut the cake.

Cake?

Sing something, Suzanne.

Wonderful idea!

- Come on, sweetheart.

- I can't, Mama.

Sing one of your old numbers

from my act.

I don't want to. Really.

One number for your old mother.

Come on.

You know that...

You give your hand to me

That Ray Charles tune.

- And then you say hello

- Keep going.

And / can hardly speak

Can hardly sing.

My heart is beating so

And anyone can tell

That's it.

You think you know me well

Sweet song.

Well, you don't know me

No, you don't know the one

Who dreams of you at night

And longs to kiss your lips

And longs to hold you tight

To you /'m just a friend

And that's all that /'ve ever been

But you don't know me

I don't know the bridge.

Afraid and shy

/ let my chance go by

A chance that

You might have loved me too

You give your hand to me

And then you say goodbye

/ want to walk away

All / can do is cry

No one will ever know

The one who loves you so

No, you don't know me

That was so lovely, dear.

I don't know why you don't

sing any longer.

- I get so nervous.

- But you shouldn't.

You have such a terrific voice.

Such a terrific talent.

Now, Doris sing something.

Come on, Doris.

I couldn't. No, this is

my daughter's night. Really.

Come on.

- Do you think I should, really?

- Yes.

All right.

You sang for me, I'll sing for you.

" I'm Still Here" in D flat.

Good times and bum times

/'ve seen them all

And my dear, /'m still here

Darn right you are!

Plush velvet sometimes

Sometimes just pretzels and beer

But /'m here

Ten years of braces, voice and tap

Touring in places off the map

Getting auditions on Zanuck's lap

Never fear

My mother drew up the contract

So /'m here

/'ve done commercials

And club dates and talk shows

Gee, that was fun and a half

When you've done commercials

And club dates and talk shows

Anything else is a laugh

Black sable one day

The next day it goes into hock

But /'m here

Top billing Monday

Tuesday you're touring in stock

But /'m here

First you're another true-blue tramp

Then someone's mother

Then you're camp

Then you career from career to career

/'m feeling transcendental

Am / here?

/'ve gotten through,

"Hey, lady, aren't you who's its?

Gee, what a looker you were. "

Or better yet,

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