Postman Pat: The Movie Page #4

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with his football practice.

This is not a moment to

be late for, Clifton.

This is the start of a bold new era

for the Special Delivery Service.

Nice to see you, Pat.

Erm, hello, Patbot. Uh...

Are you sure this is a good idea,

Mr Carbunkle?

He might need someone

to help him on his round.

I have thought of that.

Adorable, isn't he?

Oh, yes. It's very adorable.

Patbot, do you know what to do?

The Patbot 3000 is fully programmed

in all SDS procedures and protocols.

I designed his matrix myself.

Oh, I see.

Well, then. Good luck, and remember, the

most important thing for a postman is...

Speed. Efficiency. Ruling the world.

Well, I was going to say being friendly.

You know, the human touch.

You are programmed for that, aren't you?

Of course.

Patbot, show Clifton how

friendly you can be.

Erm, that's a lot of

teeth, but not exactly...

Time to kick the babies

out of the nest, Clifton.

Oh, erm, well, then...

Let me know if I can be

of any help, Patbot.

- Good morning, Ben. I am Postman Pat.

- Hello, Pat.

I am here to deliver the post

because I am Postman Pat, the postman.

You feeling all right there, mucker?

The special delivery always gets through.

Do not be suspicious.

This is Jess the cat.

Because I am Postman Pat.

mm. OK.

Let me open the door, Ben,

because I am friendly and also nice,

and in no way part of a plot

to take over the SDS

for an evil corporate executive.

Er, been working out, Pat?

No time to chat. We've

got a special delivery.

Get ready for take-off.

Goodbye. Lovely day.

OK. Have a good day, Pat.

Everything is ship-shape.

Hello, I am Postman Pat.

Jess the cat, I forgot my postbag.

Please get it for me. This is not a trick

to get you out of the van, Jess the cat.

Huh?

We've got a special delivery.

The mission...

Theres no parking in here!

Anytime, anywhere.

My van! Does he have insurance?

Better. Hes under warranty.

- Run for your lives!

- Rise and shine.

Hes gone postal!

I am Postman Pat.

The special delivery always gets through.

Huh?

Mission accomplished.

These roads are inefficient.

Come on, Jess.

Time to go.

Hurry, hurry! We don't want to be late

for Pat's big interview!

London, James, and don't spare the horses.

Hello? Anyone? A little help?

To deliver anything,

anytime, anywhere.

Hey. Pat?

- Good morning, Pat!

- Ahhh!

- Oh, my!

- What's wrong with Pat?

The special delivery

always gets through.

- Morning.

- Morning.

I am not evil.

I am only misunderstood.

Stop in the name of the law!

I would like a cup of tea.

I say, that's not like Pat at all.

We should say good morning,

Mrs Goggins.

I am Postman Pat.

Oh, Pat, the Reverend

and I were just saying

how much we enjoyed your

singing last night.

I had an uncle who had

a bonnie set of pipes. He used to...

The special delivery

always gets through.

Goodness me.

Mission accomplished.

- Oh, my! That wasn't like Pat at all.

- Aye!

I hope this telly business

isn't too much for the lad.

Good morning, Britain!

Today we have two very special guests

Im sure you'll all recognise.

The finalists from You're The One.

It's Postman Pat and Jish.

Jish?

Who is Jish? His name isn't Jish.

His name is...

His name is...

Oh! Oh, Im sorry. Im allergic to cats.

Marvelous! So, Pat,

how are you enjoying your new celebrity?

Decorated your dressing room yet?

My... No. I don't, uh...

I usually get dressed at home.

Aw! isnt he scrumptious?

Josh wears clothes! Nearly all the time.

Don't you, Josh?

Yeah. Usually...

Great.

Pat, is it hard to balance working

as a postman with your singing career?

Oh, well, I wouldn't call it

a singing career exactly.

Oh, Josh would! Singing

is all he thinks about!

Unless it's dancing!

Hes an entertainment machine, that boy!

- Really?

- Any time!

Day or night, he's ready to perform!

Aren't you, Joshy lad?

Pat, your cat's amazing!

Hes already beaten Wilf's high score!

What's his name?

Oh, that's Jess. Hes my best mate.

I really don't think I could get through

the day without him.

- Aw!

- I wish I had a cat.

Well, there you have it, folks.

All it takes to be a star is talent

and a black and white cat!

What? No, no, no! Wait!

You don't need cats! Cats are rubbish!

No, I just meant... I mean...

Don't you wanna hear Josh sing?

And we're out.

Nigel, what did I tell you?

Never book children, authors, or Scotsmen!

- I have bogeys in my hair!

- No, wait!

It's not my fault! It's my allergies.

Please, don't!

Great job, Pat.

Oh, well, thank you.

- You killed them, Pat.

- I did?

- Ls that good?

- Would you like a cappuccino, Mr Clifton?

Oh, that's nice of you, thank you.

But I really should be getting home.

My son has football practice.

Oh, of course! Right after

your next interview.

- Next?

- Oh, just a few more.

- People can't get enough of Postman Pat.

- Really?

Oh. Well, I suppose we could stay

a bit longer, eh, Jess?

Wonderful job today, me boy.

Well done.

- Remember, rehearsals tomorrow.

- Ill remember. Good night, Mr rown.

Sorry Im so late, love.

I did three interviews!

I really think the people on set liked me.

Pat, I got some calls today.

People said you were acting

strangely on your route.

I was?

Oh, Ill have to talk to

Mr Carbunkle about that.

Pat, Im worried about you.

No need, love.

You just concentrate on

planning our Italy trip.

Trust me, love. Everything

will sort itself out.

The whole world's gone bonkers

for this Pat Clifton fellow.

We have to up our game, Joshy boy.

You need to be on fire

at the finals next week.

Charm them! Make them love you!

Mmm-hmm. Charm, love. Got it.

This might sound crazy, but do you hear

someone singing about...

Give me that!

Hey! I was playing that.

Ill play you, you wee... What?

- Hes got a video game?

- Oh, yeah, it's great, Wilf!

You deliver mail, have a cat

and are nice to people.

Every now and again you can rescue a sheep!

It's the hottest game around.

Totally massive.

I did not pay for your singing lessons,

your dancing lessons

and your hair-care lessons

for you to lose to that... That postman!

Wilf, you know, he's actually pretty good.

Ill do my best. But how about we just

let the best man win?

Best man?

Nobody ever got anywhere

in show business by relying on talent.

I see Ill have to take matters

into my own hands.

I have been following

that post-hoc performer for a week.

I know everything about him.

When he sleeps. His routes.

The color of his boxer shorts on Tuesdays.

Yeah, that's in no way creepy.

I am going to stamp out that postman,

post haste.

Well? How do I look?

What happened to your glasses, dear?

Oh. Theyre a lighting problem on the set.

And my makeup assistant says

they make me look a bit dodgy.

Ive always liked them. Here.

In case you don't get a chance

to eat lunch after work.

Ah! Thank you, love. This is so thoughtful.

Oh, I gotta go, Sara. My limo's outside.

Don't forget the aylors are coming around

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