Powerful Out Women: On the Campaign Trail

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MAN 1 :

What's it all about?

MAN 2:

America, Jesus, freedom.

MAN 1 :

Say it again.

CAM:

America, Jesus, freedom.

MlTCH:

And what does that mean?

CAM:
Sh*t, l don't know.

But the people sure love it when l say it.

How's my hair?

Strong. Real strong.

[CHEERlNG]

[MARCHlNG BAND PLAYlNG]

ANNOUNCER [OVER SPEAKER]:

Let's send him back to Washington.

Democratic congressman today,

vice president tomorrow.

Here he is, running unopposed...

-Hello, everyone!

-...Cam Brady!

North Carolina is taking care of business.

Just like you, every day,

l'm living the American dream.

l come from humble beginnings.

My father worked with his hands...

...as head stylist for Vidal Sassoon.

WOMAN:
Amen!

CAM:
Very much the typical American family.

l'm here today with my beautiful family,

and l'd love for you to welcome them.

My two children, Jessica, Cam Jr.

-l love you, J. Lo. Camouflage.

MAN:
Get them, Camo!

And of course, my Rock of Gibraltar...

...Mrs. Rose Brady, my wife.

Love you, baby.

CAM:

My dream maker. Thanks for coming out.

Cam Brady '012.

Our nation's security

has never been stronger...

...because our troops and our veterans

are this nation's backbone.

Because farmers are this nation's backbone.

Schools is this nation's backbone.

Audio-installation specialists

and window tinters are this nation's backbone.

Because Filipino Tilt-A-Whirl operators

are this nation's backbone.

And l wanna make you a promise today...

...that if you send me back to Washington, D.C.,

for a fifth consecutive term...

...l will let them know it's about America,

Jesus and freedom.

We love you, Cam!

l love you too.

You got a lot of energy, don't you?

[CHEERS]

-Oh, Shana.

-Oh! Oh, Cam!

Your body's so toned.

-Cam!

-So toned.

-Cam, it smells horrible in here.

-lt's not that bad once you get used to it.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

lf it's a-rocking, don't come a-knocking.

This is bad, Cam.

This is real bad. Okay?

l don't like those numbers at all.

-Just one poll. Those things aren't scientific.

-Yes, they are.

All this is is science. This is math.

But if you took it

and put it on its axis this way--

Hey, look, Cam, l'm telling you right now,

it was the phone call.

CAM:
Mm-mm.

-Yes.

-No way.

-Yes way. No, look at this, look at this, okay?

Sixty-two percent of the people

that got asked liked you, okay?

Then the phone call happened.

Then they asked the same question.

Now only 46 percent of the people like you.

Run through it one more time.

Look, before the call, this is you.

Like Price ls Right.

[YODELlNG]

And then look at that. Straight down.

l thought l was calling Shana. l misdialed.

And, Lord, we just pray

that you bless this table...

...this food, this family and this nation.

[RlNGlNG]

Hey, Jared,

let's let the machine take one for God.

[MACHlNE BEEPS]

CAM [ON MACHlNE]: Hey, Shana,

it's Congressman Cam Brady here.

l just stepped away from a family dinner

to tell you l wish l wasn't eating fried steak.

l wish l was eating Shana p*ssy.

Seriously, baby, you get me so hard

my dick presses against my zipper...

...and it hurts like a motherf***er.

What else?

Oh, hey, l got your parents tickets to

The Producers.

And, oh, yeah,

let's do something crazy weird next time...

...like lick each other's buttholes

in a Denny's bathroom.

All right, l gotta go. Cam Brady in '01 2.

-Okay.

-Now, that was clearly a wrong number.

MOTHER:
Right.

-He is not listening to Jesus...

...because if he was,

oh, Jesus would give him a tongue-lashing.

Not like the one he has requested.

And that family's hopping mad.

-What do you want me to say?

-You tell me.

l f***ed up.

Yeah, we're in a bad situation here, okay?

-What do you wanna do?

-Get out front. Walk it back.

[REPORTERS CHATTERlNG]

We can't have this.

lt's a behavior that has to stop.

But, congressman, you made the call.

l have made in my lifetime...

...probably over 1 00,000 phone calls...

...of which l could say maybe 1 percent

have been inappropriate.

-What is that, a thousand phone calls?

-That is exactly 1 000.

A thousand phone calls have been rude,

inappropriate, sexually explicit.

Phone calls l wish l could take back.

But that's only 1 000 out of 1 00,000.

l'll take those odds any day of the week.

[BAND PLAYlNG SLOW JAZZ MUSlC]

LLOYD:
Gentlemen, l can't bring this bill

to the floor. l'll get killed.

There is no way Congress

will let Motch Worldwide Global...

...put "made in America"

on goods made in China.

Why not?

The name of the town in China is America.

Oh, now, technically it's Mera-Kai.

My brother and l are job creators.

And because of that,

we're also candidate creators.

[CHUCKLlNG]

My hands are tied.

GLENN:
That's a real pity, isn't it, Wade?

WADE:
Yeah.

By the time we're finished,

half your district will think you're a Marxist...

...and the other half will think you've got

every D.C. Craigslist hooker on speed dial.

Got it?

When the family plugged in their phone

into the answering machine...

...they became consenting adults.

Cam Brady's done.

He doesn't have this district

locked up anymore.

Let's get Brady out of there.

Finance someone

who'll be a friend of the Motches...

...and help us change these regulations.

Who do we have down there

that we could run?

Big Jim Santon's in prison

for embezzling state lottery funds.

-Sad.

-Well, Raymond Huggins' boy Marty?

lsn't he the weird one?

Has weird ever stopped us before?

How, in the year 201 2,

do they still have an answering machine?

Why are they denied modern technology?

Make the call.

Come on, guys.

TAMMY:
Hey there, Marty.

-Hey, Tammy.

-Good morning, Dr. Scruggs.

SCRUGGS:
l have no idea who you are.

Hey, Diane.

How's business at Candles 'N' Such?

Such is selling.

l can't move the candles, though.

Yes, you can, Diane.

"Can't" is the real C-word.

Cock-a-doodle-doo, Travis. You look tired.

Did you get some sleep?

Yeah, l'm just real high.

[CHUCKLlNG]

You're hysterical, Travis.

-How's the turnout for the 1 1 :30 tour?

-Just one person signed in.

What? Are you serious?

What happened to the eighth-grade field trip?

l guess the kids

would just rather go to class.

-Well, l just need one person.

-Yeah, well, guess who it is.

Mrs. Cutler again.

She got a crush on you, Marty.

She's gonna have to get in line. Heh.

Hammond, or the jewel of the Carolinas,

as l like to call it...

...is rich in history

and flush with natural beauty.

We've also had celebrities pass through.

Eight years ago,

actress Rosie Perez passed through...

[CELL PHONE RlNGlNG]

...when she got turned around on the interstate

and came to ask us for direc--

-Travis, stop, stop. Stop the tour. Stop the tour.

-Now? All right.

[TlRES SCREECH]

Hello, Father?

Yes.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

WOMAN [lN SOUTHERN ACCENT]:

Oh, l's a-coming, l's a-coming.

Patience for the tired.

Now, you just enjoy that view

from the porch, now.

Oh. Almost there.

Oh, well, my Lord, if it ain't Mr. Marty.

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