Preaching to the Perverted
HOUSE OF THWAX:
Direct from New York's underground !
former sex worker,,
performance artist, and lap dancer.
now undisputed queen of the scene:
Tanya Cheex!
Defying U.K. authorities by
appearing with her banned show.
- This woman
- Wom-on !
- What ?
- W-O-M- O-N!
I woo no man!.
Volunteers, approach the altar.
Tonight, we free
the erotic spirit.
Hundreds of thousands of people
now frequent these kinky clubs.
Fetishism is the name,
breaking the law the game.
What are the authorities
doing about it?
When will porno sickos like,
Tanya Cheex be banned and gagged?
Excuse me, excuse me...
Mr. Harding, I'm sorry to disturb you, but the
Press Association has been ringing constantly.
I'm not just a dial-a-quote.
Hello? Hello? Mr. Harding?
Have you got anything
to say about this?
Now what frightens normal folk
is the perversion is out the closet.
"Out of the closet..." Got a quote?
Yeah, the clubs may be underground,
but their beliefs are infecting the media.
Porn, wife swapping, paedophilia
it all links with these clubs!
do something about it!
Come to my press conference.
Everyone is afraid to say
what needs to be said...
- Except for you, Mr. Harding.
- Oh, thank you, Esmeralda..
- Eh, how is your son these days?
- He's doing ever so well at Holy Hardware.
well, eh... I might need
some help in that regard..
- Is he a believer?
- Oh, every Sunday, Mr. Harding.
Peter's taken very good care of me
since my husband passed away.
Reverend Smyth-Osbourne...
Pentium Processor & Software Bundle... -
...and connection to our
Smut Free Internet Service.
Saint Hardware
Connectez vous au seigneur !
Not long ago, a number of perverts
were jailed -
for nailing their penises
to plaques and even sicker acts.
If it had been up to me,
I'd have cut their penises off !
I will cite that case
and other laws
to combat immoral acts or
material offensive to women.
Conservatives, Christians,
and feminists,
such as these ladies,
all agree that the degrading
of women has gone far enough.
Oh, come on, Mr. Harding!
The only degrading in "The House of Thwax".
was happening to hairy-arsed men!
"The House of Thwax" objectifies women;
females who present the
image males desire and
Oh come on !
You'll have to do better than that!
Britain must not allow even consenting
adults to harm each other.
- What about boxing?
- Manly pursuits are excluded..
Now once we amass evidence of
the filth flowing in these clubs, -
I'll be handing over to the
Director of Public Prosecutions.
I'd use the women's bell
if I was you, mate.
See what I mean?
NEUROLOGIE AVANCEE
Thank you, Mistress.
Thank you, Mistress.
I promise I won't disturb
your academic work again.
Morning, Mistress.
...AIDS, sex addiction ...
[...] and he promised that protested performers
who flout the law in these clubs
could soon be facing jail sentences.
Clear off back to New York
Tanya Cheex !
Shall I mail him a sh*t
sandwich, mistress?
or I'll be tanning your cheeks
to the British court.
Any bombs?
My son's got an appointment
with Mr. Henry Harding, M.P.!
'scuse me I've got an appointment with
Mr. Henry Harding.
Member of Parliament.
Excuse me, but...
Only Members are permitted to address
the keepers of the cubby holes..
Oh, sorry.
Is there anybody here to
see Mr. Henry Harding?
You may have heard about my campaign.
I need a helper who's committed,
who's a Christian, -
and who's brilliant with computers.
Well, I'm your man, Mr. Harding.
Mm, I see you attended Christ College
...Oxford, or Cambridge?
Christ Computer College in Wales.
Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
Oh, Peter will be a Member of Parliament
one day, Mr. Harding. I'm sure of it.
I haven't any firm plans, except to serve
the public good. if I can, Mr. Harding
Do you realise we have over
200 applicants for this post ?
some of them from the finest families
and colleges in this land.
I'll do mail shots, typing...
I'll tidy the office, fetch sandwiches,
the laundry, anything!.
and how many of your Oxbridge types
are willing to get their hands dirty, Miss W??
Can you start today?
Well, uh, there's my van...
and my job...
Eugenie, e-mail the whole list.
it's the next four venues.
Make sure it's all encrypted so that each
club owner only knows about his own gig,
and not the others.
Mistress, can I ask you why you're
deleting the venue details?
Watch where I send this e-mail.
- TAnd this is where we keep all of the.... Filth!
- Commander Cope.
Yes ?
But we haven't any successful undercover men.t.
Commander, haven't you tried cracking her anon code,
or tracing her remailing box ?
Tracing drug peddlers,
and child pornographers on the internet
that's the Yard's priority.
Um now, Mr. Harding, do you really want
to look at this ladies stuff, I mean... -
This is filth, for filth's sake !
Do you think if I wanted porn
I'd come here to get my supplies?
I'm not one of those posh Tories,,
you know, with gas masks and women's knickers.
Can't you heroes do a better job of
breaking into these clubs and porn rings, eh ?
Henry, can you really see my boys
fitting into leather jodhpurs, mmmh?
Well, fat Fibbin Gibbins did quite
a good job in a skirt and blouse.
Yes well, this isn't tabloid journalism.
You need solid evidence to make a jury convict.
But there's actual bodily harm,
gross indecency,
even blasphemy.
Tanya Bum crucifies people
on a bloody stage.
No nails went in, Henry.
Now, let me warn you.
If you don't touch some collars
at the next event, -
I'm going to initiate
private prosecutions;
...and your own proverbials
will be on the line.
It would be easier
Why don't you get someone
to go undercover?
Look, him! He's bright and eager.
And his good looks would go far -
in a skin-deep world, eh?
I don't think I can. I wouldn't
be any good at it, Mr. Harding.
- I simply can't as a Christian..
- But this is a Christian cause, lad!
It's for the good of the public.
- You coming to evensong, Mr. H?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come too, Pete
What is your doctorate about, Madam?
The causal link between endorphins, -
stimulation of specific receptor sites,
and euphoria..
There are a lot of endorphins in here.
Natural painkillers.
And sufficient stimuli can cause a state
of euphoria akin to an adrenaline high.
Have you thought about what I said?
It's a God-given mission.
A private conviction would be a triumph
You'd be able to address
party conference, I promise...
Couldn't you have gone by a
Holy Hardware, saved me a few bob?
We're not logging on to the Lord, Mr Harding.
We're finding smut festivals
and tracing sources.
- Would you like some chocolate, Mister Harding?
- I'd like a sick bag...
Why don't you go home ?
It'll be dawn soon.
Himmler always got sick
visiting the camps,
but he always forced
himself to go on,
because he knew he couldn't afford
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"Preaching to the Perverted" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/preaching_to_the_perverted_16158>.
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