Preaching to the Perverted

---

HOUSE OF THWAX:

Direct from New York's underground !

former sex worker,,

performance artist, and lap dancer.

now undisputed queen of the scene:

Tanya Cheex!

Defying U.K. authorities by

appearing with her banned show.

- This woman

- Wom-on !

- What ?

- W-O-M- O-N!

I woo no man!.

Volunteers, approach the altar.

Tonight, we free

the erotic spirit.

Hundreds of thousands of people

now frequent these kinky clubs.

Fetishism is the name,

breaking the law the game.

What are the authorities

doing about it?

When will porno sickos like,

Tanya Cheex be banned and gagged?

Excuse me, excuse me...

Mr. Harding, I'm sorry to disturb you, but the

Press Association has been ringing constantly.

I'm not just a dial-a-quote.

Hello? Hello? Mr. Harding?

Have you got anything

to say about this?

Now what frightens normal folk

is the perversion is out the closet.

"Out of the closet..." Got a quote?

Yeah, the clubs may be underground,

but their beliefs are infecting the media.

Porn, wife swapping, paedophilia

it all links with these clubs!

Of course I'm going to

do something about it!

Come to my press conference.

Everyone is afraid to say

what needs to be said...

- Except for you, Mr. Harding.

- Oh, thank you, Esmeralda..

- Eh, how is your son these days?

- He's doing ever so well at Holy Hardware.

well, eh... I might need

some help in that regard..

- Is he a believer?

- Oh, every Sunday, Mr. Harding.

Peter's taken very good care of me

since my husband passed away.

Reverend Smyth-Osbourne...

Pentium Processor & Software Bundle... -

...and connection to our

Smut Free Internet Service.

Saint Hardware

Connectez vous au seigneur !

Not long ago, a number of perverts

were jailed -

for nailing their penises

to plaques and even sicker acts.

If it had been up to me,

I'd have cut their penises off !

I will cite that case

and other laws

to combat immoral acts or

material offensive to women.

Conservatives, Christians,

and feminists,

such as these ladies,

all agree that the degrading

of women has gone far enough.

Oh, come on, Mr. Harding!

The only degrading in "The House of Thwax".

was happening to hairy-arsed men!

"The House of Thwax" objectifies women;

females who present the

image males desire and

Oh come on !

You'll have to do better than that!

Britain must not allow even consenting

adults to harm each other.

- What about boxing?

- Manly pursuits are excluded..

Now once we amass evidence of

the filth flowing in these clubs, -

I'll be handing over to the

Director of Public Prosecutions.

I'd use the women's bell

if I was you, mate.

See what I mean?

NEUROLOGIE AVANCEE

Thank you, Mistress.

Thank you, Mistress.

I promise I won't disturb

your academic work again.

Morning, Mistress.

...AIDS, sex addiction ...

[...] and he promised that protested performers

who flout the law in these clubs

could soon be facing jail sentences.

Clear off back to New York

Tanya Cheex !

Shall I mail him a sh*t

sandwich, mistress?

or I'll be tanning your cheeks

to the British court.

Any bombs?

My son's got an appointment

with Mr. Henry Harding, M.P.!

'scuse me I've got an appointment with

Mr. Henry Harding.

Member of Parliament.

Excuse me, but...

Only Members are permitted to address

the keepers of the cubby holes..

Oh, sorry.

Is there anybody here to

see Mr. Henry Harding?

You may have heard about my campaign.

I need a helper who's committed,

who's a Christian, -

and who's brilliant with computers.

Well, I'm your man, Mr. Harding.

Mm, I see you attended Christ College

...Oxford, or Cambridge?

Christ Computer College in Wales.

Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

Oh, Peter will be a Member of Parliament

one day, Mr. Harding. I'm sure of it.

I haven't any firm plans, except to serve

the public good. if I can, Mr. Harding

Do you realise we have over

200 applicants for this post ?

some of them from the finest families

and colleges in this land.

I'll do mail shots, typing...

I'll tidy the office, fetch sandwiches,

the laundry, anything!.

and how many of your Oxbridge types

are willing to get their hands dirty, Miss W??

Can you start today?

Well, uh, there's my van...

and my job...

Eugenie, e-mail the whole list.

it's the next four venues.

Make sure it's all encrypted so that each

club owner only knows about his own gig,

and not the others.

Mistress, can I ask you why you're

deleting the venue details?

Watch where I send this e-mail.

- TAnd this is where we keep all of the.... Filth!

- Commander Cope.

Yes ?

She keeps on provoking us.

But we haven't any successful undercover men.t.

Commander, haven't you tried cracking her anon code,

or tracing her remailing box ?

Tracing drug peddlers,

and child pornographers on the internet

that's the Yard's priority.

Um now, Mr. Harding, do you really want

to look at this ladies stuff, I mean... -

This is filth, for filth's sake !

Do you think if I wanted porn

I'd come here to get my supplies?

I'm not one of those posh Tories,,

you know, with gas masks and women's knickers.

Can't you heroes do a better job of

breaking into these clubs and porn rings, eh ?

Henry, can you really see my boys

fitting into leather jodhpurs, mmmh?

Well, fat Fibbin Gibbins did quite

a good job in a skirt and blouse.

Yes well, this isn't tabloid journalism.

You need solid evidence to make a jury convict.

But there's actual bodily harm,

gross indecency,

even blasphemy.

Tanya Bum crucifies people

on a bloody stage.

No nails went in, Henry.

Now, let me warn you.

If you don't touch some collars

at the next event, -

I'm going to initiate

private prosecutions;

...and your own proverbials

will be on the line.

It would be easier

to bring a private case.

Why don't you get someone

to go undercover?

Look, him! He's bright and eager.

And his good looks would go far -

in a skin-deep world, eh?

I don't think I can. I wouldn't

be any good at it, Mr. Harding.

- I simply can't as a Christian..

- But this is a Christian cause, lad!

It's for the good of the public.

- You coming to evensong, Mr. H?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You come too, Pete

What is your doctorate about, Madam?

The causal link between endorphins, -

stimulation of specific receptor sites,

and euphoria..

There are a lot of endorphins in here.

Natural painkillers.

And sufficient stimuli can cause a state

of euphoria akin to an adrenaline high.

Have you thought about what I said?

It's a God-given mission.

A private conviction would be a triumph

You'd be able to address

party conference, I promise...

Couldn't you have gone by a

Holy Hardware, saved me a few bob?

We're not logging on to the Lord, Mr Harding.

We're finding smut festivals

and tracing sources.

- Would you like some chocolate, Mister Harding?

- I'd like a sick bag...

Why don't you go home ?

It'll be dawn soon.

Himmler always got sick

visiting the camps,

but he always forced

himself to go on,

because he knew he couldn't afford

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes