Prey for Rock & Roll Page #2

f***ing hot though.

In an "America's Most Wanted"

kind of way.

- Hi! I'm Faith.

- I'm Animal.

Animal?

- I'm Sally's brother.

- You have a brother?

Named Animal?

Wow!

Well, where you been?

- I was in--

- He was in college.

Yeah-- no, he's got lvy League

written all over him.

Hey guys, can we just have

a minute, please?

- All right.

- Thanks.

- I was in prison.

- Did he just say prison?

Yes, he did.

How long and what for?

Dude, you're not supposed

to ask that!

Is there a prison etiquette

I don't know about?

I want to make sure he's not a child

molester, or a rapist.

Jacki, he's--

he's my brother.

They're always

someone's brother.

You look friendlier

in the photos.

It's nice

to finally meet you, Jacki.

What photos?

Great to finally meet you, Jacki.

Nick, say hello

to Sally's brother, Animal.

- Hey, man.

- Nick:
Animal?

You got a problem, man?

I don't know. Do I?

I don't know.

Do you?

Stop it, Nick. Splashing

your testosterone all over the place.

Shut up, Jack!

Don't talk to her

like that, man.

( whistles, laughing )

Maybe I should

just come back later, huh?

I saw a motel a few blocks back.

It rents by the week.

Dude, we got an extra room,

you should totally stay with us.

Is that okay?

Sure, yeah.

Jacki:

Yeah, it'd be totally cool.

'Cause if Tracy and Sally

just play it totally straight,

and I come in just kind of chugging,

like really slow, slow, slow, slow.

Then you'd come in

with this lead, really slow,

toom-toom-toom,

build, build, build,

then we just slam

into the chorus.

- lt'll be hot, man.

- ( vibrator buzzing )

So shall I start without you?

I got to go.

- Uh-huh.

- Uh-huh. Come here.

- Turn that thing off.

- Uh-huh.

( grunts )

Love is evil.

And cruel.

Radio:
I'll tell you

anotherthing. Ifyourteenager

is listening to

the heavy metal music, be warned:

This could be the first step

towards renouncing Jesus.

- Oh my God!

- What the f*** is that?

This music is sponsored

by Satan himself...

- Ooh, Satan!

- ( laughs )

...goes hand in hand

with premarital sex,

alcoholism,

addiction to marijuana,

and in some cases,

madness.

- Wild madness!

- Oh, God!

( heavy metal music playing )

# So messed up,

I want you here #

# In my room,

I want you here #

# Now we're gonna be

face to face #

# And I'll lay right down

in my favorite place #

# But now I wanna

be your dog #

# 'Cause now I wanna be

your dog #

# 'Cause now I wanna

be your dog #

# Well, come on! #

( phone ringing )

- ( machine beeps )

- Man:
F***, I didn't hear the beep.

Jacki, It's Chuck

from Triple Z records.

Listen, uh, I'm sorry--

Hey Chuck, what's up?

I'm not busy, man.

Yeah, I know about it, it's next month.

I read it in the Weekly. Why?

# 'Cause now I'm ready

to feel your hand #

That's too bad, man.

Yeah, I mean, well, you know, I got

to ask the rest of the band, but...

that sounds pretty cool.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I'll get back to you, man.

Cool, thanks. Bye.

What is your problem?

Jesus, that was Chuck!

- I don't care who that was.

- He wanted to tell me--

Like I give a sh*t?

I got to pee.

- ( door closes )

- F***!

Jacki's voice:
Every band dreams

ofgetting a call like this.

Yes! Yes!

- You're such a dick!

- Just a second!

Jacki's voice:
Oh God. Please don't

let us f*** this up.

What are you doing?

You know what, f*** you, Jacki

and your band! I don't need this sh*t!

Jessica, come on, man,

don't be stupid, you're not leaving.

You're so smart?

You don't even know when to apologize!

- Apologize for what?

- For what?!

I'm sorry for picking up the phone

when I was f***ing you again!

- Jessica--

- How about, I'm sorry!

I'm sorry for not being at your birthday

'cause of my damn rehearsal!

- You knew about that.

- You never hang out at my house.

You don't take me dancing

to the gay bars 'cause--

- 'cause you hate the music?

- Well, it sucks.

- F*** the music.

- Okay, I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry!

Oh, I'm sick of this sh*t!

I just apologized.

Come on, you know

you don't want to leave!

It's mine!

Jessica!

( door closes )

F***.

Ooh! Chuck called!

What the f*** did he want?

He came sniffing around here,

and then what? Nothing.

- Just listen--

- I don't know. No, Jacki.

- F*** him, and his faux British accent!

- Faux?

Listen, I know the guy

is super cheesy but he gets sh*t done.

Dude, he doesn't even

f***ing return your calls, man.

Maybe he's busy.

That's funny, because when

I don't return

people's telephone calls,

that means I don't wanna talk to 'em.

- Guys, come on, let her finish.

- Jacki:
Thank you, Sally.

Okay, you're ready,

this is great. Now-- well,

you know the drummer guy,

from Thrill 13, right?

Well, he O.D.'d.

Wow! Now, that is great

f***ing news, dude.

- (laughter)

- That's not what I meant.

Oh, wait, they're opening

for X, right?

They were.

And one of the reason's Chuck called,

he can't promise us anything,

but he's going to try

to get us that opening slot.

What? That's f***ing great!

Oh, and that's not all.

He wants to take a meeting

with us on Thursday.

Oh my God! He's going

to sign us, I know it.

You are

the sweetest little angel.

What, isn't that part

of the reason that we're in a band?

- To get signed, and go on tour?

- Actually, I'm in a band so I get laid.

Come on, dude, chicks do not need

to be in a band to get laid.

- Faith:
Shut the f*** up.

- Nice.

( guitar riffs )

( thumps )

Okay, ready?

( electric guitarplaying )

- What do you think?

- Oh, um--

it-- that wasn't bad.

Yeah!

Okay, but do you remember,

we were talking about...

the dynamics of a song.

What's that?

Um...

oh, look at--

we're out of time!

- Okay, I'll see you next week, then.

- Yes, cool.

Okay, bye.

Mom, that was really good,

thank you. It was so good.

Well, after coffee,

you get to open your presents.

- Oh yes, presents!

- I spent a lot of money.

But I got a big question,

serious question,

I don't see a pony anywhere,

am I ever going to get a pony?

Every year, I'm promised a pony,

and every year there's no pony!

Oh, I'll never forget

the look on your face

when we got you that bike

that looked like a pony.

- I didn't know that.

- And she named it Lucky.

Did you know she used to put

carrots in the garage

hoping that the bike's

going to eat the carrots?

I loved that bike. One time, I remember

I came out to play, and it was gone?

- Remember that?

- Somebody stole Lucky?

- I don't remember that.

- No, Dad took it.

Dad hid Lucky to teach me a lesson

to not leave it out on the front lawn.

- What else is new?

- How can you not remember that?

I came in, I was freaking out,

screaming and crying,

"Oh my God! Oh my God!

Where's Lucky?"

He said, "Ifit was up your ass

so you'd know where he was. "

How about when he used to say,

"Go get me something to hit you with."

- What was that?

- How lame were we?

Why did we always

get him a belt?

How genius would it have been,

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