Prey for Rock & Roll Page #3

if we came with a wet noodle and said,

"Go ahead, Dad, whale on us."

I wish I had a dollar

for every time he said,

"Did your mother have

any kids that lived?"

- Shut up, you, guys.

- How about when he'd give us a bath?

- Our special bath--

- That is enough!

Way to go, Jacki.

I told you, that sh*t is just not funny.

- You think I don't know that?

- Yeah.

( exhales )

Enough.

( groans )

Sorry, Mom.

I just don't know

how you and your sister

can joke and go on like that.

Well, what are our choices?

( exhales )

So, how are things going

with the band?

What?

Nothing.

They're fine.

They're good. I mean--

we'll see.

We have a small label looking at us.

Well, that's terrific, isn't it?

Yeah, we'll see.

Will they show

all those tattoos on MTV?

Mom, I'm gonna keep

my sleeves over it, all the time.

Just for you.

See that?

There.

I bet if you got a job

illustrating books

instead of people

they'd provide you with...

Both:

medical and dental insurance.

Well, honey, it's true! What if, God

forbid, something happens to you!

- Nothing's gonna happen to me.

- And you smoke way too much.

Mom, I smoke just enough.

Come on, I know you got

a cake in there somewhere for me.

Yep.

I baked your favorite chocolate.

- With marshmallow frosting.

- Yes!

Come on, Mom.

Bring it on!

Jacki's voice:
She left him

when I was 10, thank God.

Still, a day doesn't go by

when I don't think about him.

After all, he helped make me

the woman I am today. Way to go, Dad!

( electrical buzzing )

- Dude, she is going to be so psyched.

- ( groans )

- She better like it.

- You kidding me?

She's gonna f***ing love it.

Nothing says "life-time commitment"

quite like a tattoo.

How's that girl you've been seeing?

What's her name?

Jessica.

How is Jessica doing?

- She dumped me.

- (laughs )

What's wrong with you?

You can't keep no man,

you can't keep no woman--

Sally spells her name

with one "L", right?

Oh, you suck!

Jacki:

That's a bitchen shirt, by the way.

Oh, thank you.

It's too bad we missed that whole

riot girl scene by about a butt hair.

- Or 10 years.

- Same thing.

But you know, you did pioneer

that whole "Riot Mom" thing--

that was good.

Oh, happy birthday too,

by the way.

Ow! Sh*t!

- What?

- F***, that hurts!

It's a tattoo, man.

It's got to hurt a little feel to good.

- Come on, now. Don't be a p*ssy.

- Jeez! You don't do that again.

Do you ever think about quitting?

Quitting what?

Music.

Well, let's pretend I could do

something else, which I cannot.

Um... no.

- ( exhales )

- Oh, wait, who's this, who's this?

"We're gonna play

as long as there is an audience, man.

And when there's no audience,

we're gonna play for the bartender!"

I never did that lame-ass gesture.

You're such a dick.

You might as well tattoo that

on your forehead.

No, seriously, don't you ever think

about being 50 or 60 years old,

hauling our gear around,

passing out fliers,

fighting with the bookers

and still sweating the rent?

F*** the rent.

(knocking on door )

Ahem.

- Hello, my angel.

- Hey.

- ( door closes )

- What's up, girl?

- Where's Sally?

- Her room.

- Is Jacki here?

- Uh-uh.

You know, it's these

meaningful talks we have...

that just make me feel

so connected to you.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Open 'em.

- Oh, is it real?

- Yes, it's real!

Ouch!

Jacki just did it today.

Oh, my God, Faith.

Happy anniversary.

Oh, baby, it's so, so beautiful.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

- Let me see it.

- Oh.

You know,

I was noticing something--

something different

about you today.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

You have this brother.

Hey!

I wanted to tell you about a thousand

times, and then he just showed up.

So, what did he do?

Faith, no.

( exhales )

Well,

do you even want him here?

Yeah, I do.

Please don't make me

talk about this right now.

You don't have to talk

about that.

( knocking on door )

(indistinct talking on TV)

You want me to get that?

Hey.

Hey.

- How are you doing?

- Mm-hmm. I'm good.

- I guess I'm gonna finish to get ready.

- Mm-hmm.

He's coming with us?

I thought it was girl's night out.

Apparently not, dude.

After the gig,

let's go do something.

Can't man.

Nick's coming over.

Oh, you suck!

When was the last time we hung out?

I miss you, man.

- Ever since you and Nick got together--

- Jacki.

At least I'm in a relationship.

God forbid you have an emotion or two.

That's really sweet.

We're talking

about you right now, not me.

No, Jacki.

It's always about you.

Right now we're talking about

your opinion of me.

No, right now

it's about my concern for you.

You mean for the band?

You got a problem, dude.

You got to deal with it.

My only problem is you

at my ass lately.

- Is that right?

- Yeah. Other than that, I'm just fine.

Tracy, we have a really

good chance of getting signed.

I don't want you

to f*** this up for me.

- You?

- Us, you know what I mean.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Are you in this band

because you like to play,

or are you still just trying

to piss of your parents?

Yeah.

At least I'm not a 40-year-old wishing

I was a 25-year-old rock star.

- F***.

- Come on, you guys, let's go!

Hey, Jacki!

Happy birthday, dude!

Is it your birthday?

Hey, happy birthday! How old are you?

How big is your dick?

I'll wait outside.

( door opens, closes )

So, what are we going to do

about Ms. Tweak?

I never thought I'd long for the days

when Tracy was just drinking too much.

You're not thinking

of kicking her out, are you?

I'm thinking I'd like to kick her ass

up and down the street.

- She's a f***ing great bass player.

- She's a great friend!

Can you imagine going into the studio

with that? She'd be a nightmare.

- Talk to her.

- I tried. She doesn't want to hear it.

Do you want to see

a hot show?

Nick, how many times do I have

to tell you I do not like bell peppers?

Man, I told the guy twice--

no bell peppers.

The guy's an a**hole.

F***, man!

( sniffing )

Mmm!

The good stuff.

What is wrong with you?

- I had a fight with Jacki.

- Again? F*** her.

You think I drink too much?

Is that what she said?

You know,

she could use a f***ing drink.

Don't worry

about any of that tonight.

I want you to just relax.

Have you been thinking

about the fantasy, hmm?

- We're not doing that tonight, are we?

- No, no, not tonight, but--

maybe you've been

thinking about it, hmm?

Come on. Get off.

You promised you wouldn't talk

about it once I agreed.

All right,

what movie did you rent?

I thought we'd watch one

of the ones I got last week.

Right. Porn and pizza.

That's real romantic.

How long is that guy

staying here, anyways?

- Nick, don't start, man.

- No, I'm just asking-- how long?

And don't pick a fight

with him either, all right?

Oh, yeah? And why is that?

Because he's been in prison,

and has lots of tattoos?

I'm so scared.

No. Because it's stupid,

and pointless, that's why.

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