Prey for Rock & Roll Page #4

God, why do guys

always have to fight?

Because we're men.

Manly men.

And that's what men do.

They already f***ing hate you.

Can you please not make it any worse?

What are you talking about?

They love me.

# I was into smashing bottles #

# Oh, yeah #

# While you were laughing,

calling me crazy #

# Oh, yeah #

- # Oh yeah, yeah, yeah #

- # Oh yeah #

So are they... together?

Do you got

a problem with that?

No. She's never

mentioned it though.

Still bugged about Tracy?

Jacki:
Whatever.

What do you know, anyway?

I know

Sally really looks up to you.

I know you've worked

your ass off for this band

and good things

are finally happening.

- And I also know--

- Jesus Christ!

Didn't you have anything

better to do in prison

than listen to Sally's

up-to-the-minute Clamdandy reports?

No.

Look, I know she didn't tell you about

me, but I feel like I know you guys.

Dude, you didn't know

your sister was a dyke!

No. I know you are sometimes.

So, Animal,

what did you do for fun in prison?

She said you could be a b*tch.

- But mostly she said nice things.

-Yeah, and you believed her?

Of course. Otherwise I wouldn't find

myself liking you as much as I do.

Really?

- # It was a good Iife honey #

- And I think you Iike me, too.

- What?

- # We never had to beat... #

- #...around the bush #

- I said I think you like me.

# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah #

# Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

oh yeah! #

( soft music playing )

# If I fall short #

# If I don't make the grade #

# Ifyour expectations

aren't met in me today #

( Iaughs )

- # There's always tomorrow #

- Yeah!

- # Or tomorrow night #

- Come on, Nick, let me see that ass.

# Hang in there, baby #

# Sooner or later

I know I'll get it right #

# Please don't give up on me #

- # Oh, please, don't give up on me #

- Come on, you can't do it like that.

Yeah.

# I know it's late #

# Late in the game #

# But my feelings,

my true feelings #

# Haven't changed #

# Here in my heart #

# I know, I know I wasn't

wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong #

# I'd like to make amends #

# For the love that I never,

ever, ever, ever showed... #

And now I am going

to make you achieve

multiple orgasms

without even touching you.

I will achieve this

with hypnosis.

Look into the sacred

one-eyed snake's eye.

- Nick.

- Concentrate on the snake.

Concentrate

on the snake.

( Tracy laughs )

Do not laugh!

You do not want to anger him.

- Nick!

- What?

Come here and f*** me.

Come on.

# Don't you give up on me #

- # Please, please, please #

- Come on, kiss me.

# Don't give up on me. #

Tracy.

Tracy.

Thanks, baby.

Maybe you should call her.

Tracy knows we're meeting Chuck

at 7:
00. She's gonna show up.

- Sally:
What if she doesn't?

- Jacki:
I'll f***ing kill her.

Ah, lives to f*** up another day.

Ha-ha.

Dude, I am never

drinking red wine again.

That's a start.

Listen, missy,

I'm hung over, I'm not deaf.

Hey, did you hear about our hot date

with Jacki and Animal last night?

- It was not a date!

- ( scoffs )

You're such a f***ing dick.

Oh yeah?

Did you f*** him, you whore?

No, she didn't.

Right Jacki?

Come on, man, he just got out of jail.

He'd f*** anything.

-Yeah, what's Nick the Dick's excuse?

- Just kidding, Jacki.

Make up does make the girl.

Could we be serious just for a second?

I just want to ask you a question.

Seriously, if you didn't know me,

how old would you think I was?

I do know you,

and I'm not playing that game.

Just humor me.

C'mon now, how old do I look?

C'mon now, I could take it.

Okay, you look--

I can't, I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

- Who cares, Jacki?

- You're such an a**hole.

- And how old are you?

- 23, why?

Yeah, well, when I was

"23, why?" I didn't care either.

Well, I think you look like

you could pass for 29.

Thank you.

But I'm not 29.

And the fact that I have to f***ing lie

about my age-- it pisses me off.

It's true. Unless you're young, hip

and look good on the side of a building

in a f***ing designer jean ad,

we're not gonna get signed.

I mean, it's just-- I'm sorry.

I do not foresee a rock and roll

Jacki doll in the near future.

And I hardly doubt

that we'll be drinking cola

in some $30-million

lame-ass video.

It's bullshit.

I play the guitar.

I write my own f***ing songs.

It's just bullshit, man.

I don't want to lie.

I mean, everyone is a f***ing liar.

Well, I think that you look

really good for your age.

I'm going to go take a sh*t.

Jacki, there are worse things

than getting old.

Yeah, like what?

Like not getting old.

Faith:

That would suck.

Hey, Chuck.

Hello, Clammies.

How're we doing today?

Dandy.

Nice shirt, Chuck.

You're going to be

my new daddy?

If you play your cards right,

I think we could work something out.

We'll work that

into the contract.

Jacki's voice:
Okay, two dykes,

a wannabe rock star,

and a tequila-guzzling speed freak

walk into a restaurant.

I always imagined it would be a bit

more-- I don't know, glamorous.

I mean, we'd be in this big, beautiful

office, we'd sign on the dotted line,

and cut to:
Band onstage playing

to thousands of adoring fans,

"Whaa-aa! You guys rule!

Yeah!"

My whole future

is hanging in the balance

at the Big Drip Cafe.

Okay, here's what I want.

I've been thinking about it for so long.

She really has.

I want it to be totally original. I want

a rose, but I want it to be yellow.

- That's so pretty!

- Right?

Okay, and I want two leaves on one side,

but only one leaf on the other side.

Because I'm a Gemini,

do you know what I mean?

Totally.

Because sometimes I can be so crazy,

and then sometimes, I'm just--

- Not, right?

- Exactly.

- Something like that?

- Oh my God, that's it!

- Oh, it so is!

- Where do you want it?

I want it on my ankle,

but really low,

and really really small,

so I can hide it.

And also, if I decide I don't like it

later, I can just have it removed.

So, I have about

a half an hour. Can do it?

Hmm.

No.

Well, why not?

Girls, there's not enough time

to explain this to you now.

Besides,

I got a costumer.

I'm doing the Sistine Chapel

on his scrotum.

You can stay and watch if you want.

You don't mind, do you?

No. No, you guys can stay.

Oh, you know what?

We'll come back later.

Cool.

They're out there,

breeding.

So, what's up?

Nothing. I just thought

I'd come by and check out the shop.

- It looks great.

- Thanks.

So, let me guess.

Your mother did not name you Animal.

No, that was Sally.

I started playing drums when I was

about, I don't know, 12,

and Sally was really

into The Muppet Show.

You know, the little hairy red guy

who plays the drums,

always screaming.

( screams )

Animal.

So you're telling me

you're named after a Muppet?

Unfortunately, yes.

But you can bet I told the guys

in prison a different story.

So, why were you there?

I killed someone.

Well, manslaughter.

Thanks.

Wow. Who?

Our stepdad, whose name was Dick,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes