Pride & Prejudice Page #2

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People do not die of colds.

But she may perish with the

shame of having such a mother.

I must go to Netherfield at once.

Lady Bathurst is redecorating

her ballroom in the French style.

A little unpatriotic, don't you think?

Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Good Lord, did you walk here?

I did.

- I'm so sorry. How is my sister?

- She's upstairs.

Thank you.

My goodness, did you

see her hem? Six inches deep in mud.

She looked positively mediaeval.

I feel such a terrible imposition.

They're being so kind to me.

I don't know who is more pleased at your

being here, Mama or Mr Bingley.

Thank you for tending

to my sister so diligently.

She's in far better comfort

than at home.

It's a pleasure.

I mean, it's not a pleasure

that she's ill. Of course not.

It's a pleasure that she's here,

being ill.

Not going to be famous, our pig.

Black on the back, but not related

to the learned pig of Norwich.

- Now that pig is...

- Mr Bennet.

It's all going to plan.

He's half in love with her already.

- Who is, blossom?

- Mr Bingley.

He doesn't mind

that she hasn't a penny.

He has more than enough

for the two of them.

- How will we meet them?

- Easy!

Wait for me!

You drop something. They

pick it up. And then you're introduced.

Officers!

You write uncommonly fast, Mr Darcy.

You're mistaken. I write slowly.

How many letters you must have occasion

to write, Mr Darcy.

Letters of business.

How odious I should think them.

It is fortunate, then,

they fall to me and not you.

Tell your sister I long to see her.

- I've already told her once.

- I do dote on her.

I was quite in raptures

at her beautiful design for a table.

Perhaps you will give me leave

to defer your raptures.

I have not room enough

to do them justice.

You young ladies are so accomplished.

- What do you mean?

- You paint tables, play the piano

and embroider cushions.

I never heard of a lady,

but people say she's accomplished.

The word is applied too liberally.

I do not know more than

half a dozen women

- that are truly accomplished.

- Nor I.

Goodness, you must comprehend

a great deal in the idea.

- I do.

- Absolutely.

She must have a knowledge of music,

singing, drawing, dancing

and the modern languages

to deserve the word.

And something in her air

and manner of walking.

And she must improve her mind

by extensive reading.

I'm no longer surprised at your knowing

only six accomplished women.

- I wonder at you knowing any.

- Are you so severe on your own sex?

I never saw such a woman. She would

certainly be a fearsome thing to behold.

Miss Elizabeth,

let us take a turn about the room.

It's refreshing, is it not,

after sitting so long in one attitude?

It is a small kind of accomplishment,

I suppose.

Will you not join us, Mr Darcy?

You can only have two motives,

and I would interfere with either.

What can he mean?

The surest way to disappoint him

would be to ask him nothing.

Do tell us, Mr Darcy.

Either you are

in each other's confidence

and you have

secret affairs to discuss,

or you are conscious

that your figures

appear to the greatest

advantage by walking.

If the first,

I should get in your way.

If the second,

I can admire you much better from here.

How shall we punish him

for such a speech?

- We could laugh at him.

- No. Mr Darcy is not to be teased.

Are you too proud, Mr Darcy? And would

you consider pride a fault or a virtue?

- I couldn't say.

- We're trying to find a fault in you.

I find it hard to forgive

the follies and vices of others,

or their offences against me.

My good opinion,

once lost, is lost forever.

Oh, dear.

I cannot tease you about that.

What a shame,

for I dearly love to laugh.

A family trait, I think.

A Mrs Bennet, a Miss Bennet,

a Miss Bennet and a Miss Bennet, sir.

Are we to receive every

Bennet in the country?

What an excellent room you have, sir.

Such expensive furnishings.

I do hope

you intend to stay here, Mr Bingley.

Absolutely, I find the country

very diverting. Don't you agree, Darcy?

I find it perfectly adequate.

Even if society

is a little less varied than in town.

Less varied? Not at all.

We dine with four and 20 families

of all shapes and sizes.

Sir William Lucas, for instance,

is a very agreeable man.

And a good deal less self-important

than some people half his rank.

Mr Bingley,

is it true you will hold a ball here?

A ball?

It would be an excellent way to meet new

friends. You could invite the militia.

- Oh, do hold a ball!

- Kitty!

When your sister recovers,

you shall name the day.

I think a ball is an irrational way

to gain new acquaintance.

It would be better if conversation,

not dancing, were the order of the day.

Indeed, much more rational,

but rather less like a ball.

Thank you, Mary.

What a fine imposing place to be sure,

is it not, my dears?

There's no house

to equal it in the county.

- Mr Darcy.

- Miss Bennet.

- There she is.

- I don't know how to thank you.

You're welcome any time

you feel the least bit poorly.

Thank you for your stimulating company.

Most instructive.

Not at all. The pleasure is all mine.

- Mr Darcy.

- Miss Elizabeth.

And then there was one

with great long lashes, like a cow.

Ask Mrs Hill

to order us a sirloin, Betsy.

Just the one, mind.

We're not made of money.

I hope, my dear,

you've ordered a good dinner today.

I've reason to expect

an addition to our family party.

His name's Mr Collins,

the dreaded cousin.

- Who is to inherit?

- Everything.

Even my piano stool

belongs to Mr Collins.

When?

He may turn us out of the house

as soon as he pleases.

The estate passes directly to him

and not to us poor females.

Mr Collins, at your service.

What a superbly featured room

and what excellent potatoes.

It's many years since

I've had such an exemplary vegetable.

To which fair cousin should I compliment

the excellence of the cooking?

We are perfectly able to keep a cook.

Excellent.

I'm very pleased

the estate can afford such a living.

I'm honoured to have as my patroness

Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

You've heard of her, I presume?

My small rectory abuts her estate,

Rosings Park,

and she often condescends

to drive by my humble dwelling

in her little phaeton and ponies.

Does she have any family?

One daughter, the heiress of Rosings

and very extensive property.

I've often observed to Lady Catherine

that her daughter

seemed born to be a duchess,

for she has all the superior graces

of elevated rank.

These kind of compliments

are always acceptable to the ladies,

and which I conceive myself

particularly bound to pay.

How happy for you, Mr Collins,

to possess the talent for flattering

with such delicacy.

Do these attentions proceed

from the impulse of the moment

or are they

the result of previous study?

They arise

from what is passing at the time.

And though I do sometimes amuse myself

with arranging such little compliments,

I always wish to give them

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