Primos

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I get up every night

at four in the morning

to take a Ieak.

You aII know how smaII

my bladder is.

But when I got back in bed,

YoIanda was awake.

Which is odd,

because she never wakes up at night.

So I ask her,

''Honey, are you okay?''

And she says,

''I'm a nervous wreck.''

''Well, that's normal.

I'm nervous too.

We're worried about the wedding.''

Then she starts crying.

So l hug her and kiss her,

she hugs me and kIsses me back,

and then I get aroused.

We had decided not to have sex

the week before the wedding,

lIke a game,

so we'd be dying for it

and f*** Iike wiId animaIs

on our wedding night.

The point is she needed

to Iet off some steam.

So l stroke her, I kiss her,

I start undressing her...

but then she stops me and says,

''I'm sorry, Diego, I can't.''

''You can't what?'', I ask.

''I've been thinking about things

for months.''

''What things?''

''Our relationship,'' she says.

''Something isn't right.

No, something has neverbeen right.

We've looked the other way

because we Iove each other

and you know

I can't stand hurting you.

That's why,

if I'm making this decIsion,

it's because my mind is made up.''

Okay.

Then she goes and says,

''Diego, I can't marry you.

I can't. I don't want to.''

And I didn't cry...

I didn't...

Because I was convinced

it wouId pass,

that she'd change her mind

and everything wouId be fine.

So I didn't pressure her.

I didn't.

I was reasonabIe, understanding

and I even consoIed her.

Because she was such a mess.

She crIed and cried.

You'd think l was the one

who had dumped her.

We agreed she'd teII her guests

and I'd teII mine.

As you can see,

that dIdn't work out.

So I'm afraid I have to ask you

to Ieave the church now,

because I'd Iike a few minutes

to myseIf.

I'm okay.

Thank you aII for comIng.

Let it out, cousin.

Cry if you need to.

You're furious. Let it out.

-She might show up.

-Shut up.

I don't want her to come...

Yes, yes, yes.

Better?

-He's in bad shape.

-Very bad.

Don't get aII psychosomatic.

I know you.

It's okay.

We're backing up our cousin.

-Okay.

-Fine.

I'm okay.

What are you doing?

Don't take those in front of me.

Give me those piIIs.

No piIIs.

-Give me my piIIs back.

-Are you nuts?

Stop whining about your piIIs.

-Quit screwing around.

-You want your piIIs?

-You want them?

-Yes, thank you.

F*** your piIIs!

For God's sake, stop fIghting!

I'm sick of you!

-Sorry.

-Sorry.

Those damn piIIs...

Jesus!

Over my dead boner.

I don't mean to make things worse,

but I think you rushed into it.

You didn't evaIuate the risk.

Know what I mean?

You picked your father's birthday

to get marrIed.

To honor his memory.

Great, very commendabIe.

You know what? Good.

You saved yourseIf months,

even years with a bimbo

who'd have dumped you anyway.

lt all comes down to this:

She was on the rag, man.

What are you taIking about?

Are you thinking with

your head or your ass?

-With my heart. Right here.

-Pride and fury, man.

Where are you goIng?

-I'II get Toa.

-Sit down, damn it.

I think we need some female InsIght.

Forget It, this is between us.

Toa can bIow me.

-Excuse me.

-What?

Toa bIows onIy me.

And with pIenty of Iove.

He meant figurativeIy.

-The things I have to put up with.

-Just in case.

You see how sweet cousin Rosie Iooks

since she dumped her boyfriend?

I never Iiked cousin RosIe.

She's too sIeazy for you.

You need a girl who's Ioving,

lIke my Toa. I'll go get her.

Look, I'II go get her

and she'II bIow you right here

where we had Sunday schooI.

PIease...

Toa bIows onIy me.

Cousin Rosie.

He means cousin Rosie.

You're pushing it.

Martina Martin Martin.

She's the reaI reason

you picked today.

MartIna who?

Martin Martin.

She spent summers in the viIIage.

You were madIy in Iove with her.

You were totaIIy whipped.

So what?

What does Martina have to do with this?

July 15th, 2000.

ExactIy 10 years ago today,

during the IocaI fiestas,

he Iost his virginity

and they swore eternaI Iove.

I was a witness.

What? Did you see them f***ing?

Sort of.

AII those pIlIs have fried your brain.

What's wrong with you?

What does Martina have to do with It?

PIease, get a grip.

Martina.

Martina.

Don't cry, cousin.

It's just too much.

Martina...

You see? I was right.

Here, drink.

This wiII do the trick.

No, cousin, don't...

Yes, yes.

Let's go!

We'II go find her.

-I want to see Martina!

-Take it easy.

What are you taIking about?

The three of us

are going to the viIIage.

Are we nuts?

Let's caIm down for a second.

You don't even know

If Martina wiII stiII be there.

She'II be there

because I say so, damn it!

lf I say she's there, she's there!

She's there!

-You're in denial.

-l won't just sit here.

You're in deniaI, I'm teIIing you.

-I'm not in deniaI.

-Yes, you are.

Is he or isn't he?

If you want to get Iaid,

we'II get you a hooker instead.

I'm not in deniaI.

This is something eIse.

I'm finishing something

and starting something new.

-Cousin, are you with me?

-I'm with you.

We're taking a step forward.

That's right.

Let out your rage.

Are you with me?

Grab sack!

Show your baIIs!

You're too good for that bimbo.

F*** you if you don't Iove me!

F*** you if you don't Iove me!

F*** you!

You'II never do any better!

Never!

Not even one message!

I'II take you back to the viIIage

and kiss you on the mouth.

Thanks, cousin!

Toa can drive us.

She's a great driver.

Toa can bIow me.

And this time I mean IiteraIIy.

This Is just the three of us.

Nobody can know.

No piIIs, no ceII phone.

You wanna teII Toa?

-Yes, thank you.

-Go ahead.

-You broke my ceII phone.

-So I did.

-Let's go get her.

-Go get her...

Go get her...

Go get her...

Go get her...

Go get her...

-It's great to see you like this.

-CousIn! Let's do thIs!

That's it.

What is that?

His puIse alarm.

-Take that f***ing thing off.

-Don't make hIm nervous.

He's making me nervous.

Breathe sIowIy, cousin.

Lie down and breathe sIowIy.

He can't go Iike this.

We aII go or nobody does.

It's time for you to stop freaking out.

We're aduIts.

-When did he Iast Ieave Madrid?

-Two years ago.

He freaks out on the freeway.

l shouId kick your ass.

Forget it, we're not going.

I'm in deniaI.

I have to mourn.

It's important...

Mourning is important.

We're not going!

Look at him.

Don't take three,

take twenty.

Go ahead and kiII yourseIf.

Cousin, pIease.

You can't mix those piIIs

with aIcohoI.

I'II pass out in five minutes.

Put me in the car

and take me to the viIlage.

Don't say we're not going.

That's baIIs for you.

COUSINHOOD:

Excuse me.

Do you know where everybody went?

To the fiestas.

Why dIdn't I go?

Because I can't stand drunk peopIe.

SInging, dancing, huggIng, kIssing...

We drink strictIy to forget.

When we feeI Iousy.

Where were you?

Wedding, baptism or communion?

-A wedding.

-Who got married?

Me, aImost.

Did you or didn't you?

No.

Okay, then.

Have a seat, Iet me buy you a drink.

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