Primos Page #2

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-You're Bachi, aren't you?

-Correct.

Bachi, from Bachi Video RentaIs.

We used to rent movIes from him.

Correct.

Hey, BachI, how's it going?

You don't remember me?

JuIian. JuIianuco.

Incorrect.

You took me fishing

when I was a kid.

I had to get up at 5 in the morning.

You caIIed me Sardine.

Damn, Sardine.

You sure got ugIy.

What's with that stupid moustache?

Come on, Iet's have a drink.

Sit down.

-You sure this is the house?

-Of course I am.

Some things you never forget.

ThIs Is where you serenaded her

every night?

Among other things...

Martina, l love you...

You go, girl...

Martina, come outside

and jerk us off!

Don't do that.

There's nobody around.

It's cooI. Now Iet's focus.

Now remember:
If and when we see her,

don't teII her what happened.

Women never want to feeI Iike

a second course.

If she asks, we'II say

It was my wedding.

-Who did you marry?

-My cousin in Cuenca. Who cares?

Cousin!

Over here.

That was some siesta!

Hey! Where are you going?

Come back here!

We shouldn't have brought you!

Cousin!

Don't make me run!

If I catch you

I'II kick your ass!

Cousin!

You go that way!

And run a IittIe!

Nobody teIIs me what to do!

I am running!

I'm running my ass off.

LIar! I see you!

You son of a b*tch.

When I get my hands on you...

Where are you goIng?

It isn't here anymore...

Cousin!

You can't stay here.

-My souI...

-What soul?

-My souI is escaping.

-No, It isn't.

No, it isn't!

-Wasn't this our house?

-Yes, it was.

This isn't your bedroom anymore.

You thInk it's normaI,

all this troubIe you're causing?

-Next tIme you make me sweat...

-JuIian, stop!

This is abnormaI.

-Where's Toa?

-Toa Isn't here.

Why aren't we in Madrid?

Get his piIIs.

To heII with his f***ing pIlls!

I shouId sIap that buIIshit

rIght out of you!

You're making him nervous.

-You want me to sIap you?

-Go ahead.

Damn. I shouId.

Damn, a kId!

It's okay, we were just Ieaving...

HeIp, Mommy!

We scared a IittIe boy!

Come on, Iet's go!

Get out!

Danny!

Danny, are you okay?

Get out...

I said get out!

Diego?

HeIIo, Martina.

What are you doing here?

WeII...

WeII...

My fianc dumped me.

How do you Iike that?

Hot damn, we're off to a great start.

You Iook great, Martina.

Boozy Bachi!

Boozy Bachi!

You're aIready totaIIy wasted.

Go on, scram.

Bachi, don't Iisten to them.

Are you okay?

-Can I take you home?

-I don't have a home.

-Where do you Iive?

-In the sea.

Bachi! BachI...

BachI!

Bachi...

Let go of me. I'm sIeepy.

I want to sIeep!

Get out of my bed!

What bed?

Where's our cousIn?

-Go find him, cousin.

-He's coming.

Make them Ieave.

No, Danny. Let him recover.

ThIs used to be his bedroom.

I'II catch what he's got.

No, what he's got Isn't contagious.

Is it?

Everything in Iife is contagious.

Cousin, heIp me out.

Cousin, take me to Madrid.

-Relax.

-No, I need my pIIIs.

I need to see my Toa.

Let me caII her.

My nose is stuffy.

I have sinusitIs.

-Are you listening?

-Yes.

Listen. CIose your eye.

CIose your one good eye.

Now try to remember how you feIt

when we were here.

You were the king here.

The smalIest, the fastest...

The best at everything.

Doesn't thinking about that

make you feel better?

Besides, I'm proud of you.

What you did was very brave.

You took an important step forward.

We're good here.

We're home.

Your cousins wiII protect you.

The Three Musketeerios?

That's right, back in the saddIe.

Danny, you know my cousIn

was in the army?

He Iost an eye in Afghanistan.

A bomb went off near a schooI...

-No, no...

-Why no?

-Don't teII the story.

-No?

It makes me iII.

l won't teII it.

He's a war hero.

A f***ing wacko, that's what he Is.

What happened to you?

I jumped in the water

and humped a mermaid.

Give me my piIIs.

They were eaten by a depressed crab.

Hey, sugar.

Got any toweIs around?

How about drying me off?

In the bathroom.

Take me to Madrid.

lf I hit it, she'II come back to me.

lf I hit it, she'II come back to me.

What are you doing here? CarefuI,

the IocaI boys wiII steaI your girI.

Give me a break,

after my triumphant entrance.

If l hIt it, she'II come back.

Don't think lIke that, damn it.

It should be the other way around.

If I hit it, I won't go back

to that trashy sIut.

If I hit it, she can go to heII.

If I hit it, I'II grab the reins

in my Iife.

-Pride and fury, cousin.

-That's right.

-Now you're Iove experts.

-What's his deaI?

-Did you win that?

-Yes, it's for my Toa.

There you go, Rambo.

Back to your oId ways.

Come on, enough recreatIon.

lf I hit it, she'II come back to me.

You're f***ing clueless.

Give me that.

-No, it's my Iast shot.

-Martina is your Iast shot.

That's who you should be

aiming your rifIe at.

-Give me the rifIe.

-And another thing.

I think the kid is yours.

Chew on that.

-What? You're nuts.

-How oId Is he?

I don't know.

I didn't ask him.

You got her pregnant, you rascaI.

What are you taIking about?

Don't be ridicuIous, cousin.

If I hit it, he's yours.

If I hit it, he's yours.

-You see? He isn't mine.

-This sh*t is rigged.

-Where's the compIaint box?

-Are you lame or what?

Excuse me, sir.

You can't taIk to my cousin Iike that.

-Who the heII are you?

-I'm hIs cousIn Jose MigueI.

A**hole!

Come on, come on.

Look at them.

You Iook Iike TeIeTubbies.

Oh, yeah? I'II show you

my big fat TeIeTubby...

Hey, watch your mouth.

Did you wear a condom

when you f***ed her?

Of course l dId. The one I had

in my waIIet for 5 years.

What?

Sorry to interrupt...

But It came off.

I'm sick of your damn seIective memory.

Fine, it came off.

So what?

It was our first time,

we were nervous.

lt's not Iike we were going

to give each other an STD.

But chiIdren, yes.

-Did you come inside her?

-No.

I put on another one.

There.

-The douchebag put it back on.

-My sources...

You're Iooking to get smacked.

That means the Iiquid that comes out

at first was Ieft inside her.

There you have it.

-Give me five.

-No, I won't.

And no more buIIshit. He's not my son.

She wouId have told me.

-ShouId we ask her?

-Don't you dare.

Martina!

Come over here a second.

Don't Ieave me alone, pIease.

Hi, Martina. HI, Danny.

Look at that thing!

Hey, I was wonderIng...

Look, the charanga is pIaying.

''Paquito eI ChocoIatero''.

He's been whinIng the whoIe trip

about wanting to dance to it.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-What are you reading?

-A book about diseases.

What for?

So l know the symptoms if it happens

to me. To find a cure in time.

Oh, you're a Ioony.

You wanna pIay somethIng?

Like what?

Diseases.

I'II read and the first one

to get the symptoms Ioses.

No, l'd better not.

I'm hIghIy vuInerabIe to suggestion.

Look, here's a good one.

''Hot fIashes.''

You were out of breath

when you got here.

Let's pIay Parcheesi.

No, I Iike this better.

-Yeah, me too.

-Fatigue.

Are you tIred?

You have bags under your eyes.

-I'm fine.

-Hair Ioss.

You have less hair now

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