Primos Page #3

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than when you got here.

-Please, stop goofing around.

-IrritabiIity.

You look pretty nervous.

Are you aIways Iike this?

OccasIonaIIy.

Apathy.

What does that mean?

BasicaIIy when you can't do anything,

when Iife is too much for you...

Oh, Iike you.

Not at aII.

I'm totally happy.

Loss of sex drive.

How are things with your girIfriend?

Perfect. Extraordinary.

I think she's satisfied.

-GIad to hear it.

-Me too.

-Depression, feeIings of sadness...

-Okay, okay.

That's enough.

You win. What have l got?

Menopause.

You're hiIarious. Goodbye.

No, don't go yet.

The IittIe brat wants me to stay?

Why is that?

Because you're in even

worse shape than I am.

1-0. Let's do another.

No, pIease.

-ThIs one is cooI.

-Cousin!

Cousin!

l had no dea you bought our house.

My uncle and aunt bought it.

We kept coming every summer.

Where's your family?

In Lanzarote for my cousin's wedding.

It is the wedding season...

lt sure is.

But you didn't go because

you couId sense I was coming.

Yeah, I've spent the Iast ten years

waiting at the station lIke PeneIope

and takIng vaIium.

I didn't go because

Danny's afraId of fIying.

He can't stand

being suspended in the air.

You with a son. lt's weird.

Good weird.

It reaIIy fits you.

How oId Is he?

How oId wouId you say?

Eight, nine... NIne.

Yeah, between eight and nine.

CIoser to eight or cIoser to nine?

He's not yours, don't worry.

No?

-No.

-I'm not worried.

l wouId have been happy.

I'm ready.

Lucky you, right?

A son who's aIready potty-trained.

Where's his father?

On hIs way over.

We're having a picnic in the country,

then a IittIe dancing and we'II

make another one aII night Iong.

My cousIn saw you In my eyes.

''Martina Martin.''

Just Iike that.

He said your name and I saw the lIght.

I feIt at peace.

That's why we came.

Sure.

-Are you going to kiss me?

-No.

Yes, I was going to kiss you.

-Sort of.

-Sort of.

You Iook so pretty.

This sucks.

I mean, I see you here

surrounded by tomatoes and zucchIni

and I feeI things.

I feeI...

I think I'm in love with you.

Sure, after one hour.

No, I think l've Ioved you aII aIong.

No, Diego. Don't.

I'm glad you're here,

you and your cousins are weIcome,

stay as Iong as you need

to recuperate.

But not that.

I have a confession to make.

I was at the shooting gaIIery earIier.

I kept saying,

''If l hIt it, she'II come back to me.''

l think you're who I meant.

YoIanda vanished and you appeared.

-Did you hit it?

-Yes, weII, no.

But that's because the rifIes

are rigged. How about this:

l'II make some gazpacho,

I'm the gazpacho king.

Then we'II have a picnic on the beach,

a IittIe dancing...

You Iike dancing, right?

Then after that...

we'II make another kid

aII night long.

At Ieast I make you Iaugh.

I'm funny, right?

Yeah, you're a scream.

Did you know Iaughter

is the door to Iove?

Besides, I saw the stones.

You kept them

and had them framed...

Yeah, in the attic covered in dust.

But you kept them.

Fine. Gazpacho, picnic, dancing,

Iaughter...

But not the other thing.

Lord have mercy.

How do you do, bIondies?

There's pIenty of me to go around!

Hey, Bachi.

Yo.

-Is this your car, Sardine?

-What do you think?

Nice wheeIs, huh?

Hey, be careful.

Bachi... Bachi!

Bachi, Bachi...

What are you doing?

Leave my car aIone!

Take it easy.

l'm just going for a ride.

-Give me the keys.

-No.

Go sIeep it off.

You're in no shape to drive.

I'm perfectly fine!

Listen to me...

Damn it, you puked on my car!

What's your problem?

You drive me.

Where? You're too plastered

to go anywhere.

Let's go.

I can't drive either.

I've been drinking too.

Then puke it up. Try it.

That'II cIear your head.

Puke it up, it's easy.

There it is.

Good, that's it.

A IittIe more. There.

Good.

We can go now.

You Iook better aIready.

Open your eye.

Come on, try It. Just a Iittle.

There. l Iove the beach.

Covered in sand lIke corndogs.

I'm as happy as a pig in sh*t.

Are you aIways Iike this?

-Like what?

-Like me.

What are you?

Scared.

What are you scared of?

Death.

Life Is what scares me,

so we're made for each other.

Yeah.

Were you scared before the war?

No.

I used to have baIIs Iike Spartacus.

-Who's Spartacus?

-I don't know.

But they say his baIIs were Iike...

this big.

Have you seen a therapist?

I go three times a week.

My girIfriend is the best therapIst.

She took care of me

when I was in the hospital.

A nurse isn't a therapist.

You shouId find a pro.

No, no.

Doctors give you tests

and more tests.

It was my Toa

who got me out of the hospital

and now I'm fIne.

So you're supposedIy fine now?

-What are you, a wise guy?

-At Ieast I got you to open your eye.

I'II cIose it If I want to.

-No, you won't.

-Watch me.

If you do, you'II miss

my mom in topIess.

Where's your mom...?

Wow, Martina...

-Don't Iook, you pig!

-Sorry.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Just sittIng here.

You're IookIng at my tits.

They're gorgeous.

ReaIIy.

You can't teII at aII you ever

breastfed a kid. Nice and perky.

So now what do we do?

You're in love,

you offered to raise my kid,

you made me gazpacho,

and you compIimented my tits.

What do we do now?

Get married?

No, you'd better not answer that.

Now it's your turn. So it's Iike

we're both InvoIved. So it's mutual.

You don't beIieve in

taking things sIowIy, do you?

lmagIne I'm going to die in two days

and I ask you to spend them with me,

both going aII out.

WouId you do it?

Of course l would.

Great. Let's do that then.

Diego, I'm going in the water.

Coming?

I can't get up right now.

I was fantasizing...

about death...

It was bound to happen

sooner or Iater.

Sh*t happens.

I'd rather you said you got a hard on

Iooking at my tits.

WeII, that too.

I may be romantic,

but I'm also very sexuaI.

Damn.

Looking that way Is no heIp.

Hookers?

Damn, you shouId have said so.

AII the mystery...

What's wrong, feelIng the itch?

TeII me about It.

But let me teII you something

about hookers.

I've got nothIng against them, but...

These pIaces make me feeI

uncomfortabIe.

But Iet me pick up the tab.

I want to.

Here, take 100 euros.

Get your knob poIished.

What?

Lord have mercy!

HoIy guacamoIe, she is gorgeous.

Check that out.

Even I'd pay money for that.

F***ing chicken!

You Iike her?

Here.

200 euros.

Get a Iube job and an oiI change.

-She's my daughter.

-What?

-She's my daughter.

-CIara's a hooker?

Watch your mouth.

It's a job.

-I totaIly respect that.

-Like any other.

She cIocks in Iike anybody eIse.

It shouId be covered

by sociaI securIty.

ExactIy. It's hard for me

to stomach, but...

F***ing chicken!

Do you do this every day?

-Not the thing with the chicken.

-I mean come here.

Incorrect.

She doesn't work on Sundays.

When she gets off work too?

Incorrect.

By then I'm usuaIIy unconscious.

This whoIe thing is pretty HoIIywood.

''ApocaIypse Now.''

Martin Sheen, MarIon Brando.

DIrected by CoppoIa in '72.

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